Rise of a Lich, Fall of Gods

1 pages • Page 1
Konig Des Todes
Konig Des Todes
Ooo, pretty flower
• #1
Edited this to show a directory of my works, instead of having them all here. I figured it would be easier if I link to all works rather than having all works under spoiler tag after spoiler tag by chapter. All old works will be via links, current work will be at the bottom under spoilers (1 spoiler tag per chapter). Lists are based on chronology of the stories' events.

Books:Fall of Gods (complete, edits pending) The Void's Shadow (next work) Primeval Darkness (incomplete, temporary hiatus while gets reworked) Short Stories:The Death of Thorn Raphiem Waits
  • End of the Mantle Collaboration Works:
    These works are not all my own, I only helped make them - either as a mere editor, helping develop the general plot, or as writing parts of it.
    Age of Deceit (with Thalador Doomspeaker) [size=5]The Void's Shadow[/size]

    Updating dates pending.
  • Konig Des Todes
    Konig Des Todes
    Ooo, pretty flower
    • #2
    Reserving in case it's needed.
    Tommy's
    Tommy's
    Furnace Stoker
    • #3
    Definatly a nice read, sounds promising. Just one sentence that bothers me (hell only 1?? Yeah only 1 ^^)

    “No.” Grenth quickly took the scroll out of her hands, moving at a speed very unusual for his old age.

    I would rephrase it a bit to something like: "No", said Grenth, quickly taking the scroll out of her hands, quicker then probable for a man of his age.

    Just suggesting ^^ But the rest was nice.
    Konig Des Todes
    Konig Des Todes
    Ooo, pretty flower
    • #4
    That actually sounds worse to me - for starters, "No." is a sentence on its own, and the comma should be in the quotation mark; secondly, I type in a past tense and to make one sentence into present tense would make it stick out like a sore thumb so the rest of that is mostly bad for my style; and thirdly, the phrase "quicker then probable for a man of his age" just doesn't agree with me - mainly the use of the word probable.
    Xsiriss
    Xsiriss
    Jungle Guide
    • #5
    I agree the suggested phrase's grammar is dodgy. I personally think that 'somewhat unusual' would be better but hey, nice story.
    Eragon Zarroc
    Eragon Zarroc
    Atra estern?? ono thelduin
    • #6
    cool look forward to reading some more what is this mysterious dream Grenth was having? Hara is dressed in noble Orrian attire? what time period might this be in? Who is this noble Hara? Who is Konig? How old is he? Is Grenth a human in this story? Sooooooo many questions!
    Giro
    Giro
    Lion's Arch Merchant
    • #8
    That was great! Only thing I was confused about was here:

    "Her son was going to meet the woman he would marry, and she needed to look the best she could for her future niece – perhaps future queen if her brother-in-law didn’t find a wife soon. It was a very important event."

    If her son was marrying this girl, she should be her future daughter-in-law, not future niece.

    And a small typo:

    "169 AA (After Arrival of humans)

    As usual that time of day, the grounds of the estate were quite..."

    Quite should be quiet, I'm assuming.

    Can't wait for more!
    Eragon Zarroc
    Eragon Zarroc
    Atra estern?? ono thelduin
    • #9
    ooo, the story of konig. wonder where he will go and how he will deal with this new person. wonder how grenth will react to his wet study. can't wait for next part
    Konig Des Todes
    Konig Des Todes
    Ooo, pretty flower
    • #10
    Huh, can't believe I missed that Giro *goes to fix it*

    You'll have to wait a week, Eragon. :P
    Archress Shayleigh
    Archress Shayleigh
    Wilds Pathfinder
    • #11
    Hehe Konig I must say I am deeply enjoying this!
    Good job
    Konig Des Todes
    Konig Des Todes
    Ooo, pretty flower
    • #12
    Running into technical difficulties with Word so I can't update atm. Will update as soon as I can.

    Due to the medication I have been put on last week, I may or may not be able to finish the next chapter (I'm alllllllmost done, got like... a page worth maybe? idk). So I may have to miss an update. I may make it though... who knows!
    Giro
    Giro
    Lion's Arch Merchant
    • #13
    Take your time. Hope whatever you're taking the meds for isn't bad and you get better soon. Really enjoying this so far!
    Giro
    Giro
    Lion's Arch Merchant
    • #14
    *PROPHECIES SPOILER*














    You said in there that Liches can't be killed, but didn't we kill the Lich at the end of Prophecies? Sure it has to be on the bloodstone, but he did die.

    And then you have the fact that the bloodstones were created by the Gods, yes? So doesn't it follow that a God should be able to kill a Lich?

    (Not trying to say you're wrong, just wanted to see what you though.)
    Konig Des Todes
    Konig Des Todes
    Ooo, pretty flower
    • #15
    The soul batteries (not the bloodstone) ripped Khilbron's soul from the body. It's why he had to be killed on the bloodstone.

    That said, do note I said this:

    Quote: But the difference is very clear: liches gain a unique ability that prevents them from being killed by normal means. Killed by normal means. No lich (except Zoldark?) can be killed by normal means. The only lich killed (except Zoldark? - he's a weird one, called a lich but is unlike all 3 other liches/lich-like-beings) is Khilbron, done so only thanks to the soul batteries that were powered by killing him on top of the bloodstone.

    The bloodstone only acts as a circuit for the soul to travel through. It is the soul batteries - made by the mursaat - which prevent the lich from staying alive. In essence, the combined effect of the two is the only way in which a lich can be killed, and it is only done by preventing a lich's "auto-resurrection."

    And I say liches are more powerful than the gods because of one's immortality status. Gods are easier to kill than liches, no matter the strength gap.
    Giro
    Giro
    Lion's Arch Merchant
    • #16
    Foreshadowing. I love it.
    Giro
    Giro
    Lion's Arch Merchant
    • #18
    ..did this die?
    Konig Des Todes
    Konig Des Todes
    Ooo, pretty flower
    • #19
    Sorry, forgot to mention over here...

    Essentially, I needed to give myself extra time to write as my life got busy (start of school, entered a plot that I didn't plan out, etc. etc.). Mentioned over on Guru2 at least... I'll be posting against come September 13th. I.e., next week.
    cheape arie
    cheape arie
    Lion's Arch Merchant
    • #20
    I realy like it so far, Great job!