If Guild Wars was literal

I've been thinking recently what difference there would be in the skills if Anet made them literal to their real-life name-sake, but thank god they didnt.

Here are a few of my favourites

Sever Artery - it would literally be 1 hit kill
Meteor Shower - would basically auto-vanquish the whole continent for you ^^
Decapitate - enough said really
Dancing daggers - wtf?
Way of the Empty Palm - you'd become karate master instantly =]

Post any skills you think would be cool

Consume corpse-ewwwwww?
Tease-forbidden for male mesmers

Foul Feast for the 2 Girls 1 Cup crowd.

Echo - Echoo echoo echoo...echoo....echoo

migraine ^^

12chars

Earthquake, Maelstrom and Meteor would be weapons of mass destruction for sure.

"Can't touch this!"... good song.

Seeking arrows.

Oh yeah.

* Walks into a clothes store *
* Pauses as he sees a huge muscular male dude with a big smile on his face *
"Uhhmm.. My jacket needs Mending please"


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Protective Spirit? So ghosts exist?

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Backbreaker - ouch!

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Belly Smash - /BRAAAF

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Dismember - Nooos! My winny!

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Drunken Blow should be like an auto miss lol.

Mark of Pain - Branding iron.

Shout "It's Just A Flesh Wound!" and "None Shall Pass!" to become an instant Monty Python enthusiast.
Blood Ritual/Dark Pact to become emo.
Give people all kinds of strange mutations and disorders with a Necro.

Thinking abut Mesmer skills made me realise how much they fit women. If you are sensitive to stereotypes or sexism please don't read on. Shame, Guilt, Diversion, Backfire, Complicate, Mistrust, Panic, Overload, {Wastrel's} Worry, Tease. They all seem to fit so well.

Ulcerous Lungs.
o__o
That'd hurt.

Vampirism, cue cheesy dracula clip

umm, wild blow...yeah..

Glass Arrows. Youch

Aneurysm Target foe experiences drop in blood pressure, rapid heart rate, high cholesterol, and lightheadedness. followed by a high risk of death

Rising Bile : "I think that last corpse did not agree with me"

Cry of frustration (caused by improper fix pf R/A's)

Epidemic : Darn Swine Flu

Eviscerate "Talk about Guts"

My ele would not be allowed to use Shockwave in Kaineng for fear of destroying nearby buildings.

Whirlwind - also not safe in towns

Thunderclap - everybody nearby goes deaf temporarily

Deep Freeze - Winter starts waaaay early this year. No crops for you!

Minions would actually look like what they were raised from?

Dark Pact - oooh, you made a deal with the Devil...

Hundred Blades - holy crap!

Eviscerate - ewwwwwwww

"Go for the Eyes!" - owowowowow

Blackout - but, but, but there is no electricity! Maybe usable in Rata Sum only?

Panic - target foe runs around in circles like a chicken with its head cut off

Simple Thievery - not an elite - even the little 5-year-old kids in Kaineng can (and will) do it! Hang on to your belt pouch!

You really need to try this build for a disco brawl:

Tease
Clumsiness
"I Meant to Do That!"
Grapple
Burst of Aggression
"You Will Die!"
"To the Limit!"
"Retreat!"

hahaha.

plague sending... target ally flatulates and all foes in the area cannot breathe for 10...40 seconds

succor, take out the needle and thread

feedback, like ebay in spamadan

confusing images - you throw a mysterious mushroom in target foes mouth

rust, go buy new armor

Now that is literal.

Headbut would actually be a Headbut, and not just throwing their arms at the foe.

Also, farming wouldn't be killing monsters for loot. It would be growing plants and selling them for like 1k each.