Missing Guild Wars: Withdrawl and Regret

Hi folks, anybody remember ol' me?

Before I start I want to clarify that this is a legitimate discussion with some depth about Guild Wars and gaming.
Here goes,

I quit Guild Wars in December and logged on 3 or 4 times in the following month to see what was new but only for brief intervals. After spending a 15 month, 9 hour per day habit it was a shock to the system going cold turkey but I coped which sounds sad, I know, but I know I'm not alone. I then gave up my account for good, uninstalled the client and deleted the 2GB of screenshots to try to eliminate it all from my life but it just isn't that easy 4,500+ hours of memories.

Some of you will think I'm a sad git and you're right but I bet a lot of you are in the same boat. A British TV programme prompted me to write this after watching another guy who was sent to rehab for his gaming addiction (or obsession?) so I feel compelled to share my thoughts so that others can gain some perspective at my expense.

I'd also like to point out that I'm not condemning NC Interactive or ArenaNet for my 'problem' since I'm almost 20 and all they did was provide a great service with a good business model and they deserve more than the £100 I spent on their games and character slots. It's like I wouldn't blame McDonalds if I got fat because personal indulgence is my own responsibility.

I still get strong urges to play the game, although I don't own an account, but I do visit the forums occasionally especially when I'm feeling anxious and vulnerable. I do this for a sense of comfort and escapism but it’s followed by a feeling of guilt and self-loathing because I told myself in December that I wouldn't do it anymore. Yeah, its extreme but I'm pretty much anonymous here so I can be honest without fearing anything.

I regret giving it up because I'm unhappier now that I have a social life and all the 'norms' associated with people my age than I was while playing. Guild Wars seemed to fill a void and give me a sense of satisfaction, achievement, wellbeing and fulfilment that I don't think I'll get from anywhere else and I will go for the new Guild Wars that is expected/rumoured for 2009.

There isn't really a clear point to this discussion except that I haven't had a 'happy ending' but I can feel better if I raise awareness to others and let you gain a little insight in to what gaming means to you.

Consider the following:

• Daydreaming about Guild Wars in school/college/uni/work,
• Spending 5 hours+ per day on it,
• Avoiding school/college/uni/work or social events for it,
• Talking about it frequently
• Denying you play/being secretive
• Anxiety in the absence of it.
• Attending fan sites/forums when you can’t/don’t play

Neither of these suggests that you are an addict but it is recommendable for your own health that you take action because they are unlikely to go away by themselves. I’m aware that I’m completely contradicting myself by saying, on one hand, I want to return to GW and, on the other hand, it’s unhealthy but I believe it’s the closest to happiness I’ll experience personally.

Regards,

Bruce.

My internet was recently disconnected for 2 weeks, and since it's been reconnected, I've decided to quit it as well, or almost completely cease playing, since I felt remarkably better without gw, of course that's just me, and I never played 5+ hours a day.

um ya me either of course i dont think i play thaaaat much. :P

Your making the right choice by quitting bud. As much as you may love gaming, as i do it is better to move on and forget. It is fun and something to do and as you said can fill a void but there are more important things in life. It may be tough but once you give it up for good you will forget it and you will most likely be happier. Sounds like you had quite an addiction and bravo to you for giving it up thats awsome.

I quit gw almost a year ago. considering this was my first mmo, i couldn't stop playing trying to get that next green or new 15k armor. I was thinkin 3-4 hours a day would be alright until i found i logged in for 1300+ hours. i guess i have to thank anet for the large pvp barrier that made me stop playing otherwise if i was playing WoW i know i couldn't stop.

cant care less about quiters. 3.5k hours for me and i am not planning on quiting.I got nothing important to live for so before i die atleast ill have memories that in GW i had a usefull life if not in real world,in the end it wont matter.

I'd have to say that's impressive. Don't buy GW2 unless you think you can keep your desire to play under control.

I used to be addicted to online gaming myself. This is now the only online game I play. I had to quit cold turkey when I got over it though. Two years later, I picked up GW and was able to control myself much better. But I am also a bit older. And age really does bring self control (mostly from getting less excited about things).

If you do ever come back to online gaming, you will be flirting with the danger of that addiction again. There are times when I really want to spend all day on. But I rarely ever play more than a few hours in one day any more. -EDIT- I should say around 10-15 hours a week - 15 max.

Whatever you decide, best of luck to you. There is life after Guild Wars.

But life outside of Guild Wars isn't a life worth living!
jk...
I must admit Guild Wars isn't as addicting as some other online games. Diablo 2 manifested my dreams

It's been said many MMORPGs have an addicting aspect to them.
If you feel it's a problem then definitely get away from the game.
Also take the time to talk about anything else in life you may feel you are overindulging in. Sometimes the games aren't the source, they are a catalyst to an existing problem.
I'm no therapist. It's just that I know how addictive they can be. I've quit Everquest 2 many times and always come back. I currently pay 17.99 a month to log in once a month. Yikes.

Eh, GW has been uninstalled and reinstalled several times. I'll go "Cool!" for a week or two and play a lot during that time, but I also get burned out quickly and have to do real life stuff, which interestingly, makes me not want to game much.

As I discovered, I spend more time talking about games than actually playing it. Because not playing it, you can think of how fun it is to play it, while actually playing it, you notice all the stuff that you don't like about it.

I mean, what do non-gamers do? Probably spend hours and hours comatose in front of a television. That's not any better, and probably worse in fact.

this is the 2nd game I got addicted 2, the other was ......take a guess. d2.

well for me it's a stress reliever, and a nice escape. and it's fun to play drunk.

I live in a podunk town that's no fun.

I'll say this: better wasting time entertaining yourself than losing your soul slowly in a chat room or mindless myspace bs

Erm, without wishing to sound like a n00b, what's a television?
I have heard of non-gamers though. I've even met some (yeah, this stupid concept called social life exposes you to them.) When I meet some again I'll ask what they do.

Whoa. This all pretty much describes me in a nutshell - word for word. Now D2 stole my soul, hands down. I only had a little of it left to give to my wife, and a handful of other video games ( I am so on the couch for that).

Luckily, daily life has me stretched so thin, I only have a couple of hours each night to devote to GW. The sad part is I actually do devote a couple of hours each night. But hey, like you say, it's better than other mindless activities, especially TV - the original soul-stealer.

Hee, hee. I spend WAY more time talking on the forums than playing games too. I log into guild wars maybe 2-3 times a week, if I'm lucky. Yet I spend hours a day on the GW and EQ2 forums!
I also log into to EQ2 once a month, yet still pay the subscription fee because I had to be a subscriber to use their forums, which I frequent many hours a day!

So I guess I'm a forum addict, and possibly not even a video game addict.

1,966 hours in 14 months here. This is the first game I've seemed to be "addicted" to.

I've only gotten 1,420 hours on a 18 month scale, which I think is good in a non addictive way, compared to others. I do suffer some of those symptoms, specifically, "Talking about it frequently/Attending fan sites or forums when you can’t/don’t play."

I do talk about the game frequently to my brother and my friends, though its just little stuff like, "Dude, I've finally gotten a Dragos Flatbow." Or, "Did you hear about the nerf on Shadow Prison?"

I do visit fansites/forums when I am away, actually, I visit a variety of others too that don't pertain to gaming; News, sports, graphic design, social.

I used to put a lot of hours into the game, but now I take frequent breaks, which I think is good for my wellbeing.

Playing a lot of GW or any mmo isn't necessarily a bad thing in and of itself. Consider how much time the average person in the world spends sitting in front of their television set. This is certainly not any more social than an mmo. The average american likely watches about 4 hours a day. Replace that time with mmo time and you have 4 hours of GW instead. Thats still a lot in either case, but the point is that the time spent on an mmo isn't crazy compared to the average tv watcher and its likely better socially (if you have a guild of people you actually like talking to etc.). My own habits are more scattered. Generally, the way my life is structured (with work friends etc..) I end up having a couple days where a play a lot, and then a couple days where I never log in. All told it works about to something near that average these days, though it was more when I first got into the game.

I believe that this game can be an addiction. I believe people should stop if they feel its having an adverse effect on their lives. But at the same time I worry that society in general tends to want to frown upon, and be quick to slap video game players- and those with geeky pursuits in general- with the label of addict more quickly than it should. I can pretty much guarantee that if I left this game that I would be filling my life with some other past time that would take up as much time as GW does. I'm pretty sure that the average person has something that they obsess over a bit more than other things in their life. Lets face it, life can suck ass and most people don't have a dream job from which they can gain satisfaction and care about. Its the hobbies in most peoples lives that matter most to them and as such GW is can be a very fulfilling one. If thinking about it while sitting at my desk means my day slips by that much quicker...great.

It's not for us to determine if you have a bad addiction or what to do about it, but I hope I can provide some counter points.

Daydreaming - Don't we all daydream? And if you daydream, won't it be about something you enjoy? Do we jump on people who daydream about playing in a football game? I think this world has always had a "normal" vs. "geek" battle going on, and unfortunate as it is, gamers will never be understood as the culture it really is. Now, as with anything, if the daydreaming prevents you from doing your job or feeding yourself (as in starving, not as in lazy ass who skips lunch for "one more level") then be concerned.

Spending 5+ hours a day on it - well, what should you be doing? T.V.? Talking to "real" people? You already said you are unhappy doing that. Is that what is important in your life, pleasing others so that you fit in with thier concept of what a normal person does in his spare time? As far as I recall, you are solving puzzles, keeping your mind activly pursuing goals, building hand eye coordination, and building relationships with people who are just as real, all at the same time. Let's see the couch potatos do that while watching tv. Maybe they want you to go and drink it up at a bar? Kill some brain cells and be "social" while hiding behind a drink.

Avoiding social events - Oh come on! Has no one heard of an introvert? Are we to always be punished? Shoved in lockers for life? Yeah, I want to hang around them all day. Maybe, just maybe, people online are real too and just as valid to talk to?

Talking about it frequently - As if people don't just sit around and talk about cars all day. Sounds boring to me, but it's infinately more accepted. Why? Ask yourself that.

Denying you play - And who makes you feel guilty in the first place? Wasn't me, or about 3 million others who own the game. Not to mention the vast hordes of an increasingly aging population of gamers, WORLDWIDE. Feeling shame about anything is an issue of insecurity, not an issue of what you do in your own time.

Anxiety in the absence of it - Nope, this is the true problem. My guess is this is what you need to work on. Probably obsessive compulsive with anxiety and some depression that is combined with a general anti-social attitude and a need for escapism. No I am not a psych student, no I am not diagnosing you, I do not make that claim. But you aren't alone if you've been there, many others have in many parts of thier lives. A book I read set me straight (NOT religous, a scientific book on biology and behavior... memes), I recognised the validity of the minority and instinctual behavior.

Attending forums, etc. - When did reading and writing become BAD things? Communication is what others told you you weren't doing yes?

Ok, I kinda went longer than I planned, but the whole point is, you are not happy. As long as you know when enough is enough, you can find meaning in something you love and others find odd.

EDIT : Just wanted to add, @Envious, Lol! Leet, adding in a reference to something that JUST happened today. You make me smile.

I see your point, but basing everything in life on weather it makes you happy is not healthy. Kids are allways screaming to get what they want, but it's not allways good for them, we don't want to take that mentality into adulthood and make excuses to it being ok. You have to balance everything in life so that you can be happy but not at the expense of your physical/mental/enotional health & others well-being.

To the OP: What you've done is admirable. It's made me look at my own time spent playing. I think you may be more unhappy now, but try to push through this time, get support from friends and hopefully you will begin to appreciate other things as much as GW. Good Luck man!

what has gone, is gone.
memory will never come back

looks to the future, and do whatever you think you enjoy.

c'est la vie