Curse

Talin04 · Mar 01, 2006, 04:25 PM // 16:25

I decided to re-write my story since it got deleted...btw i noticed SOMEONE decided to try to steal my idea. For the record, this is mine and mine ALONE! No one else's...except ANEt...makin the game..you know..whatever...HERE IT IS!!!

As I look out from the ramparts, high above the desolate wasteland I once called home, I remember the days of old. I remember fall in our fair land of Ascalon, the golden brown leaves falling upon thje delicate and still water, children playing in the forest outside Fobel's Fair without having to fear attack by Grawl or Charr. I especially remember the last few days of peace. Syrandion and I, we were close in our childhood and our teenage years. And now, through all that has happened, The Searing, the constant attacks on the Northern Wall, our relationship still holds strong. The once blue sky is now a dark red, giving a sense of forboding to awakening each day, wondering if your blood will add to the already crimson scene of the land. The once crystal clear water where drakes and scale once roamed peacfully is now but tar, enveloping anyone who is not strong enough into its darkness, smothering them in shadows. How did this all happen? Well, I shall tell you.
My name is Corin Malshatik, and this is my story.

Chapter 1, Fall in Ascalon-

Syrandion sat under the largest oak tree on the waters edge, plucking at some wild flowers, fooling with them in way that I knew not. I turned to see what she was, decided it wasn't worth my time, and returned to my practice.
I moved my hands slowly forward, my eyes closed and the encantation of the scroll I read playing over and over in my mind. I lowered my hand to the water in which I stood, moving my fingers slightly in the motions that were required. As I raised my hands slowly, the water began to follow them, taking the shape in which I wanted it to. It had worked.
See, back then, before The Searing, I had found a scroll in the public libraries archive. I knew not what it was until I researched the writing. They were, in fact, elemental encantations and skills. They were old, very old, possibly written not long after the Creation, when the Gods made Tyria. But that didn't interest me. What did was mastering these abilities.
I closed my eyes tightly and thrusted my hands up to whip the water towards the sky. I could feel the breeze created by the quick movement upon my face. I was amazed. It worked, and with more practice this element would be mine to control. But my astonishment soon turned to worry as I felt my control over the water waver. I opened my eyes and looked at the whip which I had created. It moved and buckled as though someone had just thrown a large stone into a calm pond. I attempted to regain control of the water by repeating the encantation aloud. It did this again and again, until it was too late. I managed to mutter two words before I lost control. "Oh boy..."
The water came crashing down onto my head, soaking me in a torrent of water. The force was so great that it forced me down into the shallow water where I stood. After the torrents had ceased, I stood up slowly, hearing an amused laugh to my left.
"By the God's, THAT was thes greatest part of this day!" she said. She layed down on the grass, doubling over with laughter.
"Yes, yes," I said, standing up with water dripping off my person. My tunic and pants were completely soaked. "I'm sure this is quite amusing for you...Alright, enough already! I don't see you attempting to master such powerful techniques."
"For I know my limitations. Where you, do not." She got up, still giggling to help me out of the water.
We walked over to the sunniest side of the hill she was sitting on and layed down, in hopes to dry my cloths before heading home.
It was a beautiful and slighty warm day in fall. Ascalon was the envy of all of Tyria during these seasons. All the trees glistened with the golden hues of fall, bringing a tear to even the most hardened of adventurers. The city and villages in the surrounding area's were full of happy and welcoming towns folk. For some reason or the other, fall in Tyria made everyone the happiest the have ever been in their lives. It was indeed, the God's greatest creation.
The hill we layed on was situated as a peninsula on the rivers mouth that emptied into the Lake of the City of Ascalon. A Water Drake bumbled by us, taking large gulps of the clear water of the lake. It was the most picturesuqe time in my life.
I turned my head to see Syrandion in the mid day sun. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever known(and still do). Her long brown hair spread across the grass in such an elegany way that it would make Lyssa herself green with envy. Her green eyes glistened no matter the amount of light wherever she was, and her soft, rosy lips shone. Her mouth parted slightly to let out a satisfied sigh at the day she beheld. I was in sharp contrast to her.
Where she had soft white skin, I had the skin of a Hunter. My hide was thick and tanned due to long hours in the sun training with the great warrior Devona. My black hair was quite long back then, down to my eyes. My tunic was somewhat worn in, but still wearable, while my pants were worn in to the point where i could move anyway without fear of them tearing anywhere. This has it's pluses and minuses of course.
As we laid there, Syrandion rolled over onto me suddenly, catching my off guard and knocking the wind out of me.
"Say, how about we traverse over to the waterfall village and see Liana?" she said to me, her hair blocked the sun from both our faces.
"Well, if you would remove your elbow from my chest to allow me sweet...life giving breath.." I was beggining to feel my lungs under pressure.
"Oh my!" she hurredly moved her elbows from my chest and onto the ground. She looked into my eyes deeply, she knew very much pertaining to how to manipulate me. She knew I couldn't say no to her. Plus, a visit to Liona seemed nice. She was a friend of both our families. She was about 48 years of age, but wise beyond her years, and her cooking was quite wonderful. All fo Ascalon's greatest cooks coveted her stews, roasts, and pies.
"Alright then. Shall we?" Syrandion smiled, pecked a kiss to my cheek, and jumped up. I stood up after her, looking around the beautiful fall scene.
"Lets go!" she quickly grabbed my hand and we were off.

Chapter 2- Looming Danger

Syrandion and I walked down the green, lush hill of grass down to the shallow and glistening river. As we walked across the water to the main road, some young scale raced aross to the side of the river we were just at. They went to meet their queen Scale. The funny thing about Queen Scale is that they're no bigger than a normal, full gorwn scale. But they were animals, no one could really tell WHAT they were thinking.
We crossed the river over to the main road just in time to catch a glimpse of a dwarf with it's Dolyak, hauling some goods from the Shiverpeaks. Tension had been somewhat high between the nation of Ascalon and the Dwarven nation for a while back then, but for the whole we were at peace and still trading with each other. We watched the Dolyak and the dwarf continue on until they were out of site. Dolyak's were just fun to look at, and even funner to play around with. They were the gentle giants of Tyria.
We continued on the main road that lead to the Waterfall Village, eventually we got to the most beutiful part of the trip, the Tree Covers. This was merely a part of the road covered by tree's, but during the fall, it was as if floating sheets of gold were falling down onto you and the road you traversed. It always brought awe and wonderment to me...of course, now all thats left of that area is a huge crater. But this is a story of the past, not the present...that is for another time.
We continued on through the tree covered road to the open air and field. The Waterfall Village was at our left, situated in an indentation in the field, and right next to the magnificent waterfall. But to the right and infront of us were fields full of wheat, grass plains blowing in the autumns wind, like the soft hair of an infant in a light breeze. Two Moa Birds ran through the grass and past us to the road that led to the Abbey, home of the Catacombs and the honorable Necromancer Muune.
"There, Liona's home."Syrandion said, as I was admiring the sight before me. I looked over to see Liona's cottage residence and it's smoking chimeny. She was home alright. Syrandion began to walk over to the cottage, and I was about to follow had I not seen what I am now used to seeing in these days. I thought I saw a Charr Scout rushing of towards the Greenhill County. I looked over to the right, looking around carefully and faithfully. I saw nothing, but I thought it wise to find a Master as fast as I could. I looked around again and saw Devona, my teacher, over by the Abbey entrance with a man and his cart.
I ran over to her full speed, my black hair flowing around my head in a topsy turvy way. As I reached Devona, I managed to hear the last of the conversation.
"Yes, just head down this road, and Ascalon will be before you." she said. Devona was my teacher and second mother. I admired her...and so did many men. I found it honorable that she did not take advantage of her femanine wiles over the men of Ascalon to get her way. Rather, she her strength and sheer will to get what she needed.
"Alright, thank you kindly Master warrior." said the merchant. With that, he was off along with his cart of goods. Devona turned to me after the merchant had left.
"Hail young Corin!" She gave me a hug and I returned the gesture to her. "We have no training schedueled for today, do we?"
"No, we do not. This was my day with Syrandion. But, I deliver news." She looked at me quizzingly, wondering that I'd say next.
"I believe, and Dwayna help us all if I am correct, I saw a Charr Scout from the side of my vision. I believe it ran towards the Greenhill County."
Devona looked at me carefully. She was perplexed. "Charr?...Here? Behind The Wall? Perhaps you have been in the sun too long."
"Still...I wonder." She saw I was genuinly worried. She looked over to the direction of the Greenhill and looked back at me.
"Alright, I will take some men to scout the area. Who knows, your suspicions may be founded." She clasped my shoulder in comfort.
"Thank you Devona. If you will excuse me, I must go to Liona's cottage. Syrandion awaits me there." I said. We both bowed to each other, and I was off like lightening.
As I reached the top of the hill and stepped on to the road leading to Liona's cottage, I took one last look at the Greenhill Couty road. I prayed to the Gods my suspicions were incorrect. With that last though, I was gone.

Chapter3- Earth
"Liona?" Syrandion walked in through the open wooden door and onto the foyer. She looked around to see no one in the living room or storage room. She scratched her head as she heard a familiar voice.
"I'm in the kitchen." she said. With her voice wafted the familiar smell of Fall tarts, a specialty of Liona's. Syrandion followed her voice as well as the smell of the tarts through the living room.
Liona's living room was not as sparsly decorated as one might think a village workers dwellings would be. Small knick-knacks abounded, and furniture was in abundance, although it was stuffed with straw rather than feathers. But despite the lack of lavish furniture, it was still warm and inviting. A warm fire roared in the large fireplace, inviting weary travelers to come sit by its light. Various windows allowed the sunlight of autumn to flow through the room, creating a wonderful, portrait like affect.
Syrandion walked through the living room and to the kitchen, the smell of Fall tarts continued to waft through the air. The kitchen was, as the living room, quaint and charming. If you remember the feeling you got from walking into your mothers kitchen whilst she was baking, you would know the feeling of walking into Liona's kitchen. It was set up in such a way that it was inviting to anyone who walked in.
Amoungst the various copper pots and pans, Liona stood over a fresh pan of tarts. Her long brown hair fell past her shoulders to hip length. She turned to face Syrandion, showing her gray and wiery eyes. But within those eyes, if you looked closely, you could see a glimer of youth. The dress she wore was a darker yellow with white strips sowed on vertically to it. She removed the gloves she wore and walked over to hug Syrandion.
"Hello my dear, it's good to see you." she said.
"The same here Liona, my dear friend!" Syrandion allowed herself to let Liona go, and walked over to the table to sit. She knew Liona well enough to know that she was going to feed her, whether she was hungry or not. Of course, Liona's Fall tarts were something you would eat whether you were famished or engorged. The tarts were made of the frshest fall fruits Ascalon and the Shiverpeaks had to offer. This included crisp and firms apples, pumpkins, winter melons from the Shiverpeaks, as well as snow berrys and a strange white, red, green, and blue fruit. No one could really pronounce the name except for the Dwarves. But needless to say, it was heavenly. The fruit had a soft exterior with a sweet milky center you could basically drink, atleast in the warmer regions of the Shiverpeaks. In the colder ones, the center was completely solid, but soft enough to eat.
Liona slide a tart onto a plate and handed it to Syrandion. "Syrandion, where is Corin? You two are inseperable." she asked.
"Last I saw, he was with Devona. I dared not interupt for Devona is his teacher. I am sure they are discussing something of great importance."

*****************

Had I known Liona had Fall tarts, I'd have run over to Liona's house and possibly disregarded the sound I was going to hear. But, of course, I took all the time in the world getting to where I needed to go. But as I crossed the path leading to the stone bridge, I heard a cry. I stopped and turned my head in the cries direction. I couldn't tell who it was until I heard it again. It was the battle cry of Aidan, the bow master. He sounded as though he was in danger. I knew how strong he was, but I thought it prudent to check for myself. But as soon as I began to cross the bridge, I saw the largest pack of Scale I had ever seen. Normaly, one could walk past them without harm. But this place was different. This was the new mating grounds. There was no way to get past them without fighting. I knew I would need to get them out of the way. But I had neither sword nor dagger on my person.
I thought of the new water abilities I was learning, but then remembered what I was dealing with. These were Scale, they thrived in water. I needed something else. I heard Aidan's cry again. There was no mistaking it, he needed help. I looked around for anything I could use as a weapon. It was not until I looked down at my own feet in utter frustration that I realized it.
Earth.
I remembered the encantations and the hand motions for a few spells. I did question myself, at the time, if I was capable of these attacks. But I had no time to think, Aidan was in trouble.
I closed my eyes and began the encantations and hand motions.
The hand motions were rough and straigth like the Earth I attempted to control. I brought my hands to my chest, feeling the pressure of the Earth on me. Sweat gathered on my forehead as I pushed forward, and with one last push, I managed it.
A wave of dirt appeared, throwing Scale in every direction. I heard their cries as the fell to the ground in a heap, bones and cartilage shattering. At first, I felt sorry for what I had done. They were only doing what was natural, mating. But I hadn't the time to worry. Aidan was in trouble, I needed to move. I ran past the fallen Scale and ran to the tree line, preparing to enter the forest.

Chapter 4- Aidan

I moved as fast as my legs could carry me, taking breath in with every stride. I ran into the depths of the forest, hoping to be able to find Aidan in time. The tree's flew past me in a blur. They looked like several streaks of bright fall colors and artist had stroked onto a canvas.
I kept running as fast as I could, passing Carrion Devouerers and Skale at my side. I listened as carefully as I could as I pushed myself near over the edge, my lungs feeling as though they were about to burst. As I began to hear my own heart beat stronger than ever, I heard the cry of a Grawl. I knew I was getting closer.
I was at a crossroad when I heard the cry. I looked to my left and right, trying to figure out where to go. Then I remembered the one crucial bit of information that would help me. Aidan was out today at the Shrine of Melandru with a student of his, he was there to help the young Ranger in training become better at this beast mastery skills. That was where he'd be. I turned left and onto the road that lead to the shrine. I flew past Devouerers and fallen trees, older than Ascalon itself. My legs were screaming with pain, feeling the white hot burn of the underworlds flame within them. My lungs begged my for rest, also feeling the burn of hell inside of them.
As I ran through the last parts of the dense forest, under a fallen log and into a clearing, I saw them. Aidan stood there, his Horn Bow lobbing arrows in every direction towards the Grawl advancing on him. His student sat against the Shrine, his leg wounded and bleeding badly. Aidan looked worn, tired and ready to surrender. His mind wanted to continue fighitng, but his body could take no more. Barrage after barrage hit the Grawl, black blood was all over the lush green grass surrounding the holiest of places, Melandru's Shrine. I would have been outragged had I not been so afraid for Aidan's life, and that of his student. I had no time to think, I had to act now. I saw the Earth around me and knew what I had to do. I kneeled down to the ground, slamming my fists into the grass, chanting the encantation for one of the more powerful spells.
"Ahh!" yelled the student. His wound was beggining to become a burden on him, for all intents and purposes he was dying. I had to act. I chanted the encantation faster, hoping I could gain the energy needed for what I was about to attempt. I chanted louder and louder, and as I did, the Grawl began to take notice. They turned to me, their unearthly yell vibrating through my person. I knew I needed to do it, I had to kill every last one of them. It was time.
I said the last word of the encantation, thrusting my fists forward. As I did, a wave of earth and rock sprung forth from the ground, lobbing sharp stones and heavy boulders toward the Grawl. They tried to retreat, but it was no use. The wave came down on them, first the sharp rocks and boulders, cutting flesh and crushing bones, then the wave of dirt. It came down on themso quickly they had no time to react to their own death. In almost the blink of an eye, they were all buried alive. All was left were the faint screams under the earth.
I stood up slowly, looking at my hands, wondering what I had done. I did save Aidan and his student. But one look at his face showed me what he thought. He was afraid of me, I was afraid of me. I just killed an entire troop...and felt no remorse in doing it...

Chapter 5- A Break In The Wall

We walked back to the road leading to the village, the twilight wind rustled through the tree tops and our hair. Aidan and I helped the young Ranger trainee by holding him up on both side. He held the majority of his weight himself, despite having a nasty gash and a limp. One or more of his bones may have been broken, but he was dealing with it bravely. We made it to the cross roads after the stone bridge just as the sun was showing the last of itself for the day, beggining to hide behind the mountainous retreat of The Shiverpeaks. Aidan put his arm around the shoulder of his student as he got him ready for the walk back to Ascalon. I could tell he was stil frightened of me. I wish he wasn't, I wish he knew that what I did was to protect him and his student. But he couldn't comprehend it, even if he did, subconciously he couldn't accept it.
"Thank you Corin." he said.
"Aidan, I know what you saw...was frightening. But I promise you I did it only to protect you and..." Aidan interupted me.
"I know, I'm not frightened. Surprised maybe, but not afraid at all."
I looked at him intently. "Would you mind keeping this a secret? I don't want anyone to know about this just yet. The Royal Guard may try to take what I used to learn these techniques and lock it away forever."
Aidan looked at me seriously. If I thought that the Royal Guard and the Royalty of Ascalon would lock something up due to a possible danger factor, than it probably should be locked up. But he knew better, he knew I was rather stubborn.
"Of course. Just, keep yourself in check." he said. Before I could respond, he walked away.
I stood there not for a minute before I realized I needed to be somewhere. 'Oh Gods..." I was in trouble.

********

"You WHAT?!" Syrandion excalimed. I had ran to Liona's house to meet Syrandion. Before I could even get to the door, I was being yelled at. I had to calm her down to tell her what had happened. But as I told her and saw her reaction, I was beggining to think I should have lied.
"You attacked a troop of Grawl? Are you insane?!" she was furious.
"I killed them all didn't I? Besides, there was not time to go for help. I had to act."
"And what if your little plan didn't work. I swear, the Dwayna was watching over you this day. Had she not, your little Earth trick wouldn't have worked!" she was showing how worried she was. She didn't want to loose me. If I was mauled, she wanted to do it for something stupid I did.
"But it worked. didn't it? I'm safe, so is Aidan."
"You don't get it do you? I would rather loose them than you." Her eyes were tearing up.
"Syrandion...calm down. I'm safe." I walked over to her and put my hands on her shoulders.
We were still in Liona's house, but she allowed us to stay the night. The night walk back to Ascalon was not pleasent and very dangerous. Besides, I think today was enough for Syrandion.
"What if you failed? What if you couldn't use that technique...Corin, you would be..."she started to break down and began to sob.
I suddenly realized what had just happened. I had just put her through pain. I never wanted to do anything to harm her, I could never think of doing such a thing. But here I was, her crying right infront of me. I felt like a fool. I know what I did was right, I had to save Aidan and his student. But what happened if I failed? She would be alone. I realized the error of my way. I knew I had ot make amends.
I walked up to her and embraced her tightly, as if protecting her from every evil and horrible thing this world and the next had in it. She broke down crying while I stroked her hair and tried to calm her down.
"Come on, it's late." Liona had allowed us to stay at her dwelling for the night. The road to Ascalon during dark hours was never safe for anyone.
Syrandion nodded her head slowly and walked to the stairs with me. The moon was at its peak when we got to bed.

*******

The morning mist fell upon the village like a viel of Dwaynas clothing protecting her people. The mist felt cool upon my brow as I stood outside Liona's house meditating. I contemplated the events of yesterday. I tried to comprehend how I was able to do such a powerful attack. I tried and tried, but something was missing. I knew not what it was.
But before I could continue to wonder, I heard marching. It was a small troop of Ascalonian foot soldeirs. They were advancing from Witmans Folly. I watched them go by, wondering what was going on. I decided to confront one of them.
I got up from my meditating spot and ran to one of the soldiers. He was younger with blonde hair and brown eyes. He wore the standard Ascalonian Soldiers armor, red with spikes for protection.
"Friend, tell me why do you all assemble?" I asked.
"You are Corin, are you not? I thought you would know of all people." he said with genuine surprise.
I looked at im inquesitevly, wondering what he ment.
"When you told Devona of a possible Charr sighting in the Greenhill County, she immediatly came back to Ascalon to assemble a small troop. They all went out to the wall to investigate. Only one came back."
I could feel myself turning pail.
"The troop was destroyed and Devona was taken prisoner. You were right Corin, there is a break in the Great Wall."

Ch.6- The Student Becomes the Master

I couldn't believe my ears, nor eyes, nor my very being. Devona was caught, possibly being tortured in the worst possible way, the Charr had found a break somewhere on the Great Wall and had probably already started organizing troops. This was a nightmare come true. I had to make sure I wasn't dreaming. I looked sternly into the eyes of the young soldier.
"Are you serious? Is this...a known fact?" I asked solemnly.
"Aye, that it is." replied the soldier. He was telling the truth.
There was no time to loose, I had to prepare. There was no way in the depths of HELL I was just going to sit back while my teacher lay somewhere near her death.
Without even saying good-bye to the informative soldier, I ran off back to Liona's house. I had to tell her and Syrandion what had happened and what I had to do.

*******

"There is absolutely NO WAY you're going there!" said Syrandion. "Yesterday wasn't enough?! Now you want to go into Charr terrioty by yourself to save your teacher?!"
"I won't be going alone. I'm going to ask some friends to help." I said reasuringly.
"And just who would these friends be? Fellow trainee's?" Syrandion said.
"No, friends of Devona and I. Masters." Devona and I knew many masters of Ascalon. There was Muune, Aidan, Menlo, Cinn, and many others that could help us.
Liona was silent the entire time Syrandion was yelling at me. She quietly leaned out her window, watering here Crysthalis Roses. Even though she was not directly involved with the conversation, she was taking all the bits of information in, preparing her statment.
"Corin, please let the Royal Guard do their duty. You are strong, but not THAT strong. You can't defeat an army of Charr, even with the help of all the Masters in Ascalon, or even all of Tamriel for that matter!" she said. She showed no signs of crying or sobbing. She knew my mind was resolved. All she could do was try to sto me with swaying words.
I packed the last bit of armor and weapons I had left at Liona's house for safe keeping, for my parents...when they were alive, did not feel very comfortable with weapons of such power in the house.
I walked over to Syrandion and held her close, embracing her close to my bosom and carressing her.
We stood there for what seemed to be hours, but what was in reality maybe a minute or two.
"I know...I know I can't stop you. But please, PLEASE promise me you'll return." She said.
"I promise you, I will." I looked down and kissed her lips as softly and lovingly as I could. As I released her, I felt somthing at her side. Something that felt suspiciously like an arrow.
I stepped back and raised the side of her shirt. There, no surprise to me, was a small quiver of arrows. I looked up at her, smiling with anticipation.
"There's no way in hell you're going alone." she smiled deviously at me. I knew Syrandion was strong, I had a feeling she would come along, I just didn't know she would try to sneak along. Even if she asked me I would have said no. Even if I did, that wouldn't have stopped her.
Liona had, without our noticing, walked up to use and placed two necklaces in our hands.
We looked at her with puzzled faces. "These necklaces were given to me by a Krytan Savant. He claimed he could see the future. He gave them to me in belief the I was to give them to two people who would be in dire need of power from the Rift. Take them." She handed the rope like necklaces to us. They were twined with strange black or silverish stones. I couldn't tell exactly what they were, but I believed they did not matter. We both embraced Liona warmly as we prepared for our trip.

******

We walked out into the sun, packs, weapons and provisions on back and in hand. I looked at her and she I. This was the begining of our journey. Little did we know that something even more sinister was in the works...

Ch.7- The Monk and the Necromancer-Part 1, section 1

Mhenlo got up from infront of the shrine of Dwayna and bowed his head in revrence for the sacred statue. The shrine he was at was hidden deep in the woods of Ascalon, far from anyone who would dare defile these sacred sentinels. The statue of Dwayna depicted the angelic figure of herself, her arms outstretched and embracing all those who would welcome her as their God and Protecter. Mhenlo lifted his head and gazed upon the statue with much happiness. He was happy to have her as his God. With one final bow, he walked off and back onto the path.
Mhenlo looked around before returning to the main road, ensuring no one would find out about the secret shrine. With one last glance, he walked onto the main road leading away from Fort Ranik. He walked briskly along the leaf laiden path. Autumn was one of the greatest blessings from Dwayna in Mhenlo's mind. The cool air, the wonderous harvest, the golden leaves all played in harmony to create one beautiful scene.
The Monk wore the traditional wrappings of his Sect. A white and cream mixture of pants, shirt, and tailing. His bald head shone in the afternoon sun.
As he continued down the path, he began to hear what sounded like panting, someone running. He looked around but saw no one. So, the monk continued down the path to the river. But again, he heard the panting, but this time there was a shout of pain. Mhenlo stopped dead in his track and listened carefully for one more sound. He got his wish, unfourtunatly. A cry of pain came from the direction of the west. He needed no second sign, he pumped his legs with all their might and ran off to help whomever it was in need.
He splashed through water and pounded through the dirt, all the while casting an enchantment on him to help him assist whomever it was in need. As he pushed through some thick brush, he came to a small clearing. There, in the middle of it was a young blonde haired woman, with quite a large gash on her leg, and near her, rushing to her was a Skale. A fully grown Skale Brood. There was no time to think or try to resolve this situation without bloodshed. He raised his staff and yelled to the heaven's.
"In the name of Dwayna, leave her be!" With those words, a bolt of bright white light struck the unexpecting Skale, throwing backwards in a heap of flesh. The creature twitched a little before it raised its head to yell, and with that it died.
Mhenlo ran over to the girl and was about to heal her when he heard more rustling. He looked around to see what he feared he would see. A pack of Skale emerged from the brush, including a Skale queen and a slew of Skale Broods.
'This..is not good.' thought Mhenlo. He lowered his head and prayed to Dwayna quickly for forgivness and strength for he was about to do. He was always taught that kiling ws to be a last resort, that it should neer be used unless absolutely neccessary. Unfoutunatly, this was one of those times.
He called upon the great Ally of Dwayna for the strength he required to defeat these creatures. He felt so guilty for the lives he was about to take.
"BALTHAZAR! HEAR MY PLEAD!" he yelled.

Part1, Section 2
The skies began to darken around the clearing and the Skale became confused and frightened. Their animal instincts told them that something was coming, something powerful and divine.
Mhenlo raised his hands to the sky, eyes closed and mouth open, ready to embrace the power he was about to recieve. Suddenly, white and red flashes began to apear i the sky. The clouds swirled and thunder roared. Then without warning, a swirl of white and red energy flew down and struck Mhenlo. The mon began to feel new found power and vigor within him. The divine evergy flowed from the sky into the monks very body and soul. The energy then left, but the skies were still dark. Balthazar awaited to see how his power would be used, and Grenth stood ready to accept new souls into his realm.
'Dwayna, forgive me.' thought Mhenlo. He looked up at the Skale with a look of pure anger. He was ready to kill al of them. Mhenlo thrusted his hands forward, yelling as loud as he could. The Skale froze in place, unable to move. Then, from the ground burst forth spikes and beams of blue and white energy, reaching as high as the tree tops (and the trees of those forests were fairly old and tall). The Skale screamed bloody murder, bits and pieces of them flying off and disintegrating in the energy burst. Then, with one final push and yell, Mhenlo let forth all the energy Balthazar had graciously given him. The area under each Skale burst forth incredibly bright and hot blue light. The Skale yeled their final yell, as their internal organs bega to seep out the holes created by the lack of flesh. The organs took the same path as the flesh, flying up and disintergrating in mere seconds. Soon, all that as left was the bones of the Skale, and within a few more seconds, that too disintegrated. The lights vanished, the clouds cleared, and any trace of the Skale were gone. Even the ground where the energy once erupted from was gone.
Mhenlo fell onto one knee, closing his eyes and feeling unworthy of any divine grace. 'Dwayna...'

****

"Hold still now, this shouldn't hurt at all." Mhenlo held his hand over the leg wound of the young woman. She was blonde with yellow eyes, like that of a cat. She wore a loose summer dress that hung around her slight frame. Her skin was a tanned brown and soft as silk. But her right leg, at the moment, was wounded with a great scratch. The had stumbled onto a nest of Skale eggs and alerted the mother. Before she could get away, the Skale was upon her. Luckily, she only sustained the scratch on her leg. Had Mhenlo not come along, she would have suffered much more, and possibly loose her life.
"Dwayna, hear my prayer..." chanted the monk. His hand glowed with a bright blue power. As it did, the wound began to heal, sowing itself up, the skin reataching to itself and he blood retreating back into the gash before it closed up completely.
"There, you are healed. Try not to wonder around known Skale breeding ground, ok?" he asked of her.
"Yes, of course. Thank you master monk." said the young woman. She planted a quick kiss of gratitude on the monks cheek, smiled sweetly, and walked off. Mhenlo smiled to himself and stood up. That was quite an event that had transpired. But he knew he would need to meditate much to feel any bit better about what he had done.
As he was about to walk off, he heard a voice from behind him full of youth, vigor, and need.
"Master Mhenlo! I need your help. Devona is in trouble!"

****
Part 2. Section 1
Muune walked away from the waterfall, feeling cleansed and refreshed after a long day of guarding the Catacombs. For being a necromancer, her skin happened to be soft and not as pale as most of those who practiced the dark arts. But no man, or woman for that matter had ever gotten close enough to Muune to be able to understand why she was the way she was. She walked over to a statue and plucked her towel from it, raping it around herself to hide her nude form. By no means was she ugly, infact she was one of the more beautiful women in Ascalon, with more than one 'outstanding' quality about her.
The only reason she had never thought of a love interests was because she had eyes for only one man, a certain monk. She never even told her close friend who it was, but you can probably guess who it it.
Muune walked over to the statue of Grenth and leaned against it, stroking her hand down the stone robes of her God. She was bored. The ghosts of the Catacombs had nothing to report, and not one creature had ventured into the dark labyrinth. She wrapped herself tighter in her towel and walked over to put her armor on and begin the trek back to her dwelling.
She grabbed her torso plating, pushed it onto her, and struggled to latch the back straps. The armor was somewhat tight around her chest, she needed new armor or soon she wouldnt be able to breath in with that which she had. When she completed the struggle of the torso armor, she grabed the leggings, slipped them on, along with her boots and gloves, and made back to her dwelling.
The Catacombs were flooded with ankle deep water, some of it poisonous. Muune, though, had a strange amunity to the poison, probably for the amount of time she spent here. Rays of light flowed through into the Catacombs from various cracks in the ancient architecture. Muune sloshed through the water towards the fork in the way. She turned left to the Abbey for rest and food when she heard a noise at her right, towards the hall that led to the caves leading out to the Green Hills County. She turned and became completely silent, waiting for another noise. She troked her long, black hair from her ears to listen once again. After a few seconds she heard the noise. It sounded like a Flesh Golemn in pain.
"The Flesh Golemn's don't start battling for right as pack leader until the winter season..." she said to herself.
The Flesh Golemns were like lion's, each year, one fought the other for right as clan leader. But that was not until the winter seaon's.
Muune nodded her head to one side, sighed in confusion, and walked into the cave entrance. She trodded along at a steady pace, humming a tune she learned from her teacher. Muune was only about 19 years old, though her skills were far from her age. She was indeed a Master Necromancer, and she deserved every bit of that title. She trodded along until she got to the actual cave. It was as any cave, all be it with some lava rivers and strange lichen growing here and there...oh and the occasional monster or demon.
Muune came to a hollowed out area of the cave where the Flesh Golemns usually gathered. She looked around to see nothing at all. Some rocks, a little lava fall, steam, and that was it. She continued to wander further into the cave, not knowing what she would find. As rounded a corner, a large mound of flesh dropped at her feet. She jumped back and prepared to summon a minion of her own to defend her. But as she looked at the dead corpse, she realized what the mutilated mound of flesh was. It was a Flesh Golemn, clawed and chopped up. As Muune looked up to see what had done it, she couldn't believe her eyes.
Before her stood a Charr Axe Fiend, fully armored, bloodied, and still fighting the clan of Flesh Golemns'

Part 2, Section 2
Muune had to act quickly or she would be killed. When the Charr noticed her, it began to advance on her, and evil look in its eyes. Muune noticed the dead Golemn by her side and decided it was time to try a new skill. She bent backwards and closed her eyes half way. Her eye lids began to flutter as the mass of flesh near her feet began to move. Without warning, two dead minions were by her side, each in the form of a Jade Scarab, one of the more feared creatures in Tyria. Muune moved back to her original position and looked at the Charr, who had stopped dead in its tracts, wondering what these new does were. Muune winked at the Charr as she sealed it's doom. "Kill it." she said.
The Zombie Jade's needed no second order. The creatures jumped forward in a flash of red and white onto the unsuspecting Charr. The hairy Axe Fiend clawed at the Jades on his face and back, but could not reach them. Muune could hear the black blood dripping from the newly opened wounds of the Charr caused by her Jades. She didn't know the creatures she had summoned would be so violent. Then again, why did it matter to her? She shrugged and decided to deliver the final blow to the Charr.
She slowly moved her hand forward, prepaing to steal what little life it had. But before she could, the Charr unexpectedly charged forward slashing. Muune reacted quickly by strafing to the left, but was still struck. The Charr slashed at her armor, causing it to rip and embarisingly exposed a bit of her bottom right chest and rib.
"Ahh!" said the necromancer surprised and embaressed. She quickly covered her partly exposed busom with her right hand, and attacked the Charr with her left. A green, ghostlike tendril extended from Muune's outstretched hand and slammed into the Charr. The monster wailed once before going down permanently. A small portion of blue energy left the Charr and entered Muune. She sighed with content as she felt the life force enter her own. The two Jades looked at Muune to see if their task was done. She bowed at them, thanking them telepathically for assisting her, and to send her regards to Grenth. The Jades bowed in their own was and suddenly turned to dark green dust, as their souls returned to the Underworld. Muune looked back to see the Flesh Golemns returning to their normal activities. She smiled and began to walk back to the Abbey.

*****

Muune stepped into the sunlight, and stretched both her arms. That was quite the ordeal, she thought to herself. As she walked through the metal gates and into the Abbey, she was surprised to see it quite emtpy. The only people their were a young man and woman, the man she believed to be Devona's apprentice, young Corin, the woman she knew not. But then she saw another person, he was bald but with an aura that made her feel...wodnerful in many ways inside. She knew who it was, it was her Mhenlo.

Ch.8 We Need a Mesmer...

Muune walked casually over to us. She seemed like she was trying a little to hard to seem in control. For some reason, she seemed embarressed and flusttered at the same time. I wasn't entrely sure why until she got up to us.
"Hello everyone. Welcome to the Abbey." Muune looked over to Mhenlo, half shy and half seductive. "Greetings Mhenlo." she said.
"Hello Muune...um..." Mhenlo averted his eyes from Muune. When she saw this, she felt hurt. She felt as though he had just dealt a blow directly to her heart, blatently saying he disliked her. But in reality, it was something a little more..."out there."
Muune looked Syrandion and I for guidance. I averted my eyes, despite the fact Muune was something...well, she wasn't ugly, that was a definete. It was as though Grenth and Dwayna set aside differences to create a dark angel of beauty. Syrandion looked at Muune, sighed, and pointed to her chest armor. Muune tilted her head to the side and looked down at her chest. She yellped in surprise at what she saw. She completely forgot the Charr Axe Fiend had torn part of her armor off, which in turn had exposed a rather prominet half of her...endowment.
She quickly covered her chest, embaressed once again. I could read her face clearly. She was absolutely ashamed of coming before Mhenlo as she was. (Although Muune did attempt to hide her feelings for Mhenlo, it was quite clear how she felt simply by observing the way she acted around him.)
"Erm...excuse me!" she said, quickly running into the Abbey. We all stood there for a few seconds a little surprised at what had just happened. No one said a word, until I spoke.
"You must admire how she tries..."
"Indeed..." Mhenlo said. He closed his eyes, staff planted in the ground, and began to chant a prayer to Dwayna under his breath. We waited there for a few minutes and awaited Muune to return.

*****

Muune walked out of the Abbey a few minutes later, her armor and weapons gone. She wore loose pants that blew in the autumn breeze and a shirt of the same calibur, both colored a dark brown. Her long black hair laid gracefully on her shoulders. She walked over to us to restart the earlier conversation.
"Yes...um I apologize about earlier. I ran into some trouble in the Catacombs." she said. Even to this day, I wondered why she didn't tell us before about the Charr she encountered in the Catacombs. But I suppose it doesn't matter now.
"It's no problem. But there is a problem we need your help with." I told her.
She looked at me quizzically, wondering what was on my mind.
"About 1 day ago, Devona took a small troop over to the Wall to investigate a possible breach. Only one soldier returned with serious injuries. He said they had captured the rest of the troop and Devona. The King has ordered a group, actually its more of a small army, to find them. I don't think they'll be able to handle themselves, and I feel...guilty about what happened to Devona. It may have been my fault...But that's besides the point. We would like you to accompany us behind the wall for a rescue mission." As I finished explaining, she looked at me with slight awe.
"Ok...so you want me to go with you behind the Great Wall, fight an inumerable amount of Charr, rescue a troop of soldiers with you under heavy HEAVY guard, and get out all the while having a plan to fix the Wall's crack to keep further invasion out..." she said.
"Well...yes, that's the situation in a nut shell." She looked at me carefully, 'secretively' glanced at Mhenlo, and smiled her normal slightly 'naughty' smile.
"I couldn't think of a better way to spend a week...or day...whatever it is." she said.
"Wonderful!" I said.
"There is something though..." I looked at her wondering what she'd ask. Although I had a slight idea. But my hunch was surprisingly wrong. "There is a type of person we need for my true power to be REALLY effective." We looked at her with genuine curiosity.
She looked at us and smiled sweetly. "We need a Mesmer."

Ch.9 Dhunam-
"Ouch! Hot!" exclaimed Dhunam as he bit into his leg of roast duck. It was a sunny day on the road to Foible's Fair. The creatures and denizens of Ascalon were out in full force. It was a day to go outside for work, play, or just for a nap. Dhunam sat at a Canthan meal cart where an old chef was cooking food for the people of Foible's. The che visage was that of an old Forge worker. But one must assume that cooking infront of a fire for so many years and so many hours would do the same to ones skin. He looked hardened and ready for anything. He wore a short gray beard upon his muzzle along with somewhat long gray hair. He did not only look strong, he appeared like he truly knew what he was doing with his buisness. He was quite adept in his buisness, he knew exactly what he was doing. He had set up shop right in between the Fair and a small farming village. Even more amazing was the fact that he had placed his cart on a road that lead to the Shiverpeaks begginings. The wind blown down from the Shiverpeaks through the passage and out into the surrounding area helped waft the smell of the cooks food around for miles. All he needed to do was wait.
Dhunam had been on his way to Greenhills County when he smelled the food of the Canthan native. His mind knew he needed to goto the Greenhills, but his stomach forced him to act otherwise. So there Dhunam sat, munching on food with Tyria's most amazing spices tingling at his lips and in his mouth.
He blew on his piece of duck, waited for it to look safe to eat, and took a huge chunk out of it. He smied as the spices of Cantha played within his mouth. As he sat there munching on his meal, a large man in a tatteed robe sat next to him. Still munching, Dhunam looked to his right a bit to see if he could see his face. He couldn't get past the shroud covering his person, so he shrygged and went back to eating.
"Noodles with Jigobi meat." he said in a deep voice.
"Coming up." said the chef. He turned around quickly and worked at the pot before him.
Dhunam tried once again to see what he could about the stranger, and as he did, he shook at what he saw. The name had put his arm forward to grasp the water the chef had given to the stranger. As he did, a dark purple symbol on his hand showed itself. It was no ordinary symbol. t was one that struck fear into the hearts of all men, Tyrian and Canthan alike. This stranger was of the Jade Brotherhood.
Duhnam froze in place, a piece of chicken still in his mouth, its spices playing games on his tongue. Of course, the Mesmer was to frightened to even think about the pleasant taste in his mouth. He was to busy worrying about the rather large and most likely well armed Jade Brother next tom him.
Dunham had had some rough run ins with the Brotherhood...especially after the little inciddent where he fled Cantha to avoid paying the Brotherhood dues fro safe passage through their territory. Duhnam knew it wrong for them to even try to force people to pay for "safe passage" through a bit of land, but he also knew he couldn't fight off an entire army. So he did what any smart man would do in such a grave situation, he did what was right, brave, and out right true...he ran like hell.
Dunham swallowed the food in his mouth and tried to act as normal as possible. He looked left and right, waiting for the right moment to sneak off. Surely by now, everyone in the Brotherhood would be familiar with his face. He tried to lean back in a rigid position, thinking he was looking calm and collected.
"Well, I'm full. Gold's on the table there!" Duhnam placed the 5 gold on the counter. "I'm off! Cheerio!" he said. He started to walk off at a quickened pace when he was stopped abruptly by a rough voice.
"Hey, you." he said.
Duhnam stopped in his tracks, his face frozen in fear (although his face would be hilarious if one could see it). He turned around slowly, a fake a clearly frightened smile played across his face.
"Y-yes s-sir?" he asked. He readied his spell and weapon to incapacitate the large man.
He walked up to him and handed him a piece of gold.
"You over payed the cook. He asked me to give this back to you." he said calmly. Duhnam was stunned with surprise for a few seconds before taking the gold piece from the large mans hand.
"Thanks! Very much. Erm, well can't talk. Must be going." he began to walk off. "Thanks again."
He walked off rigidly hoping to get away as quick as possible. When he believed he was far enough away, he let out a sigh and began to laugh under his breath. He can't believe he got away, and so easily. He stood up fro his crouched position, smiled, and continued walking back towards Foible's Fair.
The air was crisp, clean, and cool. A mix of clean mountain air and the cool autumn breze made an estatic experience for anyone walking through the area. It reinvigorated your body as well as your soul. Duhnam felt new energy flow through him after his ordeal with the Brotherhood member. He wondered why he was able to trick them and get away so easily when he was in Cantha. Now he realized why...they were simply stupid. They may have had numbers and a cause to call their own, but by the Gods did they lack and structured security team.
Well, it didn't matter to him. He got away scot free and that was all that mattered.
As Duhnam turned to enter the Fair, a loud voice called behind him. "Hey you! Stop!"
Duhnam froze in his tracks, making the same hilariously scared face, and turned around slowly. It was as he feared. He knew that the Brotherhood rarely traveled alone, that their had to be others. Well, his suspicions were made correct.
Behind him were 5 soldiers of the Brotherhood, clad in the armor of the Mursaat Jade's.
Duhnam stood, gulped, and opened his mouth to speak as the soldiers began to slowly advance on him. "Well now gents, seems you caught me! Hahaha! Well done! I was erm...testing you, you see? Wanted to se if you could catch me. Had to see if you were ah..." His words ment nothing to them. He knew he was in trouble. 'Nothing I can do now but fight.' He thought. 'Wait a second, what the hell am I thinking?!"
Duhnam slowly advanced backwards, chanting words under his breath to envoke the Arcane Echo upon himself. As he did, the soldiers drew their swords, advancing faster upon the hapless Mesmer.
Seeing this, he chanted faster and a bit more franticlly. As he felt the sensual Goddess Lyssa touch him to help envoke the Arcane Echo, he pulled out his Jeweled Staff. It was a silver, fairly long staf with two pink jems in the middle of the top of the staff. It glowed with an otherworldly power.
"STAY DOWN!" he yelled. With that, he used all of the energy within him to cast a spread version of imagined burden. The spell hit each of the sldiers with a great force. The flew back, struggling to get back up.
Duhnam smiled and waved a quick good-bye. "Fairawell chaps!" he said, and an off with al speed back towards Ascalon. He wasn't safe here anymore.

*****

After about an hour, Duhnam stopped his frantic run to catch his breath. His chest heaved as he filled his lungs with precious air. As he rested, he heard the familiar voice, seductive and cool, while menacing. He knew it could be only one woman...one necromanctic woman.
"Oh Duhnam? May we have a chat." she said sweetly, attempting to convince him.
Duhnam looked up to see he had company. He raised his hand and finger, gesturing for the to wait. He stood back up and tried to walk over them with a slight swagger.
"Yes..Yes, um...Just a min..a minu...oh sh..." With that, he toppled over, out of breath.

Ch.10- "We're off!"

Swirls of black and gray played before Duhnam's eyes, hypnotizing him, drawing him into the shadows. He didn't know who or where he was. All he knew is that he was lost. He tried to move, to look around, but could do nothing. All he heard were sounds...voices. They sounded like they were saying his name
"Duhnam...Duhnam..." They were soft at first, but continually grew louder...louder.
"Duhnam...Duhnam!...DUHNAM! GET THE HELL UP!" Duhnam jumped up with a start and looked around at his surroundings. He saw Muune, Mhenlo, Aidan, Syrandion, and Corin. Looks like the gangs all here, he thought to himself.

*****

I shook my head and looked at Duhnam snickering. "Had a nice nap, did you?" I asked. He looked at me with sarcastic amusment. "Oh yes, quite a splendid one...Erm...why is everyone here, by the by?" he asked. We watched as he slowly stood up trying to regain his berrings.
Duhnam was a rather handsome fellow...if only his attitude reflected it. He could be described as a rouge, although with honorable intentions. To him, the ends justified the means...as long as those means harmed no one...and the ends had him gaining some platinum.
"Duhnam, we need your assistance." I said to him.

*****

"So," said Duhnam after hearing my tale,"Devona had been captured behind the Great Wall with the Charr, the military is sending a troop in after her, and you want to get a group together to go find her yourselves because you believe the military has absolutely no blooming chance...is that it in a nut shell?" he asked.
"For the most part, yes." I told him.
"Yes quite...and may I ask WHY IN TYRIA WOULD YOU WANT TO?!" he exclaimed. To him, if a troop of soldiers wasn't good enough, a band of random masters wasn't either.
"Guilt...I told her about the Charr. If it wasnt for me, she'd still be safe...she'd be back at her home." I felt so guilty...I remember tha pain clearly. It was like small needless poking your inards.
"For the last time Corin! You HAD to tell her! IT was that or risk a Charr invasion!" said Syrandion. "If you didn't tell her, we'd ALL be in the same boat as her."
"Still..." Syrandion saw I was truly upset. She walked to me from behind and wrapped her arms around me. I was happy at that moment. Whenever she was close, all my troubles, all my fears, went away.
"Ahem," coughed Mhenlo."Not to be rude, but we DO have something to tend to.
"Now, we're all together, set, and ready to head for the wall. All we need right now is a real plan, a layout of what is to come."
"Well then," Duhnam walked up and leaned against the monk,"how about you use some of that great Canthan intellect of yours to formulate us one?"
Everyone looked at him angrily and rather bothered. "Ok...ahaha...sorry I asked."
"Right..." I said, "As he was saying, a plan, and I have one in mind. First we need to FIND the break in the wall. Next we must stealthely find and extract Devona, fighting only when we must...and I fear we will need to fight...alot. Then we track down the troop, inform them of the Wall break and show them it, cover it up, and hope for the best."
"Devona will be in horrid condition, I will send word to a friend to meet us at Lyssa's Theater. My spells alone won't be enough to get us through this. We'll need her help." said Mhenlo.
Muune glanced at him secretly to try to formulate a response to this so called firend of Mhenlo's coming along. "Mhenlo, you're a master of your profession, we only need you...this young one will merely get in our way." she said. 'And my way towards you.' she thought. She wasn't about to let some girl walk into Mhenlo's life, especially when she was trying to walk in at the same time.
"I think Mhenlo's right, we'll need her help. Alright, I believe we're set." I looked around at everyone around me. "Everyone...thank you." I said. I knew I was lucky to have such friends. I truly was the luckiest man in Tyria. I hadn't noticed the Syrandion had taken my hand unbeknownst to everyone else. I glanced at her from the side, and we both smiled at each other. I (and still do) loved her.
"All right, lets go" I said. With that, we set off,

Ch.11 Enemy Encampment
Devona's eye's opened slightly as eye poured through into her pupils, blinding her temporarily. She moved her head away as she felt around to determine her surroundings. She began to feel her body awaken from its numbness and became aware of her situation. She began to remember everything that had happened. She got up on one knee and pushed herself up, feeling somewhat sore. As she got up to stretch, she managed to open her eyes to see just where she was, and when she did. she felt her heart skip a beat.
She was in a large metal cage with strange blue light pulsating in between the bars. Outside was an entire camp or Charr, large and small, strong and weak, young and old. Devona could not believe it, she had been captured and taken to one of the largest Charr setlment any human had ever seen and lived to tell about, although she did not believe she would be alive for long.
As she awe'd at the site before her, she began to feel a slightly cool draft, despite the fact that it was a sunny day and her armor was fully on...
She looked down and to her surprise she was sadly mistaken. Her armor, as well as most of her cloths were gone. She stood there in a loose and torn shirt(that frankly did not serve its purpose) and torn shorts that, as well as the shirt, was lacking. She gasped and went to cover herself, infuritated at the audacity of the Charr. She was, for intents and purposes, naked, and she was angry.
She began to look around again to see not one Charr standing by the guard her. No Axe Warrior, Caster, not even a recruit. She then moved her attention to the strange blue light that pulsated between the bars of her cage. She believed it to be magic of the Charr, but something bothered her about her prison. It was metal. The Charr were not known for thier metal working skills. If they ever had a blade or spear it was because it had been looted from the bodies of their fallen foe. How the Charr managed to create an entire cage of steel was beyond her. All she knew was that she had to get out.
She reached her hand out slowly to see what this blue light was, and as she did she got a rather painful surprise.
"Ahh!" she yelled as she was tossed back a small ways from the burst of energy that came out from the blue light. She stood up again to recoupe, unable to comprehend just what this light was. She looked down again at her trappings and wrapped herself tighter...which really didn't help for it excentuated her endowment further. She knew she had to figure a way to escape, and to see if any of the small troop she took survived.
"I wouldn't get any idea's if I were you." said a voice, a HUMAN voice.
Devona looked to her left to see two Charr Axe Warriors standing next to the cage, and in between them was a tall figure in a black coat, his face shrouded by his hood. Devona could not tell one bit of his features simply by looking at him.
"That cage is sealed tight by power's you couldn't understand. I suggest you get comfortable. Behave and you won't be harmed. Lash out and I will allow the Charr to have their way with you." he said in a sick satisfaction, as if he knew he controlled her.
Devona was infuriated. "Who the hell are you?! What am I doing here?! And why in the God's names are you in league with Charr..." The stranger held his hand out in a gesture of silence.
"In time my dear, you will learn why this is as it is. And you will learn much, much more." He said as he chuckled under his breath.
Devona didn't know why, but she knew this man didn't belong here...something was a miss.

Ch.12 coming soon...

d3kst3r · Mar 02, 2006, 03:37 AM // 03:37

I have to say, I really like your 1st person narrative.

storm of daeth · Mar 02, 2006, 04:48 AM // 04:48

thats awesome dude

Jack Lost · Mar 02, 2006, 08:16 AM // 08:16

just gotta tell ya man i remember your stories lol yea been here that long. so i can back you up when you say its yours unfortunetly(sp?) il be gone for a while. keep up the good work

Storm Crow · Mar 02, 2006, 12:06 PM // 12:06

good writing..but I must say I'm not in love with the first person point of view.

Talin04 · Mar 10, 2006, 03:00 AM // 03:00

ch4 is up!

Selerious · Mar 10, 2006, 03:34 AM // 03:34

not bad, not bad at all. hope im that good when i finish sone creative wrighing sources at Uni.

Leon_Ux-ixen · Mar 10, 2006, 04:28 PM // 16:28

Awsoem very good, detail, and compasions were great. The character show life and emotion.

Talin04 · Mar 21, 2006, 04:28 PM // 16:28

Ch.6 and Ch.7 are up!!!

Selerious · Mar 22, 2006, 01:34 AM // 01:34

this story just gets better and better.

Talin04 · Mar 28, 2006, 03:23 PM // 15:23

ch7 is...wel 3/4 of the way up ^_^;;;.. (o_O)

Talin04 · Mar 30, 2006, 06:53 PM // 18:53

ch 7 is FINALLY donE!

Minus Sign · Apr 01, 2006, 05:21 PM // 17:21

It's hard to keep a readers attention with 1st person narrative, but you do it very well. Consider reader the sword singer books; they might give you more insight into some more tools for your toolbox. Characters are vivid and the action is liberal. The story doesn't slow down with your exposition. That can be good and bad. While I kept wanting to read more and more, I felt a little drained in some places, like I'd been running as much as reading.

One the whole, a bravo. Keep it up and can't wait for chapter 8

Talin04 · Apr 05, 2006, 03:31 PM // 15:31

ch.8 is up!

Talin04 · Apr 27, 2006, 02:20 PM // 14:20

Ch.9 Is Up!!!! Finally!

Elrond Afil · May 01, 2006, 11:11 AM // 11:11

great story

i like your writing techinique

good job

Talin04 · May 01, 2006, 03:29 PM // 15:29

chapter 10 is up

Xiaxhou of Trinity · May 02, 2006, 02:29 AM // 02:29

The first person narrative is working out well; some spots pull me into the story but then again others kick me out. But yes overall it's great and you're writing is something to be treasured.

Talin04 · May 05, 2006, 03:29 PM // 15:29

ch11 is up

Cjlr · May 05, 2006, 09:03 PM // 21:03

My compliments, Talin. Far and above the usual drek implied by the words fan fiction. I liked it. And that's something; I have quite high standards. Makes me want to write my own now. See how it turns out...

I saw the first ones you put up waaay back, and I was wondering when you'd post more.