Curse

Draig · Jul 09, 2006, 12:34 AM // 00:34

A Ritualists Past

Its been ten years since my parents were brutally murdered by there own body guards. My real name is Draig although I am known as Dragon now. I am the son of Lord Daedra and Lady Chan, I was 6 when I witnessed my own mother and fathers death. Although I cant remember my parents, I can remember the day like it was yesterday, The blood dripping on the floor next to where I lay under my bed, the screams from my mother whilst they tortured her in front of my farther, I can still remember the sound the sword made whilst tearing through the flesh of them. I now live for revenge, I live to slaughter the people responsible for my parents death.

That night after the guards had left I lay and stared at the corpses of my parents there faces covered in blood, the blood that erased the faces from my memory, it must have been two hours later when I heard the door close just outside the room where I lay a man walked in the room and stood and stared at the two bodies, I recognized the robes as one of my mother and fathers closest friends Master Togo I crawled from under the bed he looked at me his eyes filling with tears, he picked me up and left the room quickly.He
explained that I was to stay with him until the murderers were caught I new it was what my parents would of wanted so I did as he said. I didn't sleep that night, all I could think of was my mother and farther, random memories came to my head of them and even then at the age of six I wanted to kill the people behind my parents death. At first sun light I ran to the court yard to find Master Togo, he new what I was there for, he didn't try to convince me that learning the ways of fighting were dangerous for young people such as my self, as my farther was a very well known Ritualist I wanted to learn what my farther knew. At the age of 6 I was making my own decisions and little did I no then that I would soon be known as one of the best Ritualists aroundand my name would be feared throughout the land of Canthan.

Just a rough draft, i would like feed back first before i make final changes and tidy it up! This is only first chapter btw!!!!

Unreal Cyn · Jul 10, 2006, 12:19 PM // 12:19

It's good to see this many new fics over the weekend! I think that this story has potential, the whole parent assassination event brings to mind Unleashed, or Kill Bill Vol 1. But it all happens so quickly. I suggest you take it easy in the next chap, you know, explore personalities, use conversation, build suspense if you wish, etc. This first chap makes a good intro by the way, and I hope you continue this!

Goats17 · Jul 14, 2006, 04:59 AM // 04:59

There was a bunch. I rattled a bunch of chapters off in the first week, but now I'm slowing down, mostly because of summer camp. This is a good one though, keep in mind what Cyn said though.