Oct 10, 2006, 04:13 AM // 04:13
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#61
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Jungle Guide
Join Date: Feb 2006
Profession: Mo/N
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I agree with Tera. Parts of it are a little confusing as I read this through. But thats good, because it gives me an excuse to read it again and again!
Keep up with this. I wish I wrote as well as you.
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Oct 20, 2006, 02:39 AM // 02:39
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#62
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Frost Gate Guardian
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Barbados
Guild: Heralds of Pain
Profession: R/E
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Chapter 33
Thanx Minus for you support, and I'm glad you enjoyed it man! And once again I thank all you folks for your views and comments. Well, I really did not have much time to do any sort of writing this past week or so, but fortunately I had written this next chapter immediately after the previous one. I was more or less delaying to post it up though, because...well you'll find out. Anyways I hope you guys enjoy it - Chapter 33!
Out of Shadow
Big Charr grunted in displeasure as he regarded the growing dark around him. Not too long ago he had left the remnants of his company within Heather’s circle of light to join Habib in scoping the area. He had found that they were surrounded on most sides by rising, jagged cliffs of obsidian, formed when the floor had fallen and risen like a sea.
In other words, they were pinned against the rock. There was an almost clear path from the demon’s door to them, and they basically had no where to run.
Yet nothing has happened to us.
Everything was silent, and this too unnerved the Charr. Even his large, padded paws seemed to make not the slightest sound. He had grown up in the far north of Tyria, where it snowed unceasingly and where his folk had played all sorts of riotous music in their festivals. His folk were cultured but also fearless; he was raised amongst all sorts of weapons. Big Charr was bred to be a warrior, and had endured all manner of trials and rites of passage, but never before had he felt as much fear as he was feeling right now.
Darkness pressed in around him like a living organism; grasping and slithering with malicious intent. A coldness like unto that he had never before felt cut through his thick hide and armour to his large bones. For the first time since leaving his homeland, Big Charr shivered.
He had read the book that Habib had translated, the one with the images of the demon. Unlike the others, who were repulsed by the very sight of the thing, he had been intrigued. He still was. Beneath the coiling layers of black mist and through the occult icons and hideous faces that masked the page, he thought that he could see a small figure, incredibly beautiful. It was exactly like looking at one of those pictures that seemed to change depending on the light, or a person’s mindset.
He was not one to question his superiors. He followed orders, once they led to making the world a better place.
Now, however, he wondered. What exactly is this blinking Ja’al anyway? No one seems to know more than the fact that it’s a demon intent on destroying Tyria. But…bred by the Gods and raised by the Elonians…to destroy the world? It did not make any sense. Not even the gods of the Charr – the Titans – were stupid enough to attempt to destroy the planet. Where in blazes would they go?
He was not the sharpest knife in the Charr drawer, but Big Charr knew that something was missing. Something essential. Heather said that Normire wanted to use Ja’al to take over the world…but he seems to have changed his mind. Oh the confusion! Big Charr was a simple fellow, and did not like to ponder on fine intricacies. He yearned for that all important revelation that would set everything into perspective. But the one person who probably knew all the answers lay dead at Karak’s feet.
“Bloody arse!” Big Charr cursed. His whiskers twitched angrily.
He came to the end of his area and was just about to turn away when a small opening caught his eye. He drew closer, for at the base of one of the rising obsidian walls was a narrow chute. He could see nothing in it. But along the edges of the square opening were fine runes, which all shimmered in pale blue. The same colour as that of the beam of light escaping from the top of the giant stalactite at the centre of the cavern.
Big Charr backed away, furrowing his massive brows and pricking his ears. The runes were words, written in his tongue. How inscriptions from a language thousands of miles to the north came to be written on the edges of a small nook deep underneath the sands of the Arid Desert, Big Charr could not fathom.
“So, when dark thoughts my boding spirit shroud, seek the one in darkness’ cloud.” Big Charr recited. It sounded like a phrase from some messed up poem.
“Now this is quite odd.” He said.
“I guess I have to agree with you on that one, eh?” a voice called from behind him.
Big Charr spun around and found a human woman perched on an obsidian boulder behind him. She was clad in the weather-beaten dress of a ranger, complete with a battered hood that draped around her head. Presently she took off the hood and pulled out a long dagger.
“Now what are you? A talking Charr? What’s going on here?” her voice was husky, like a smoker’s, and even though she tried to sound unafraid her voice quivered.
This woman, whoever she was, was petrified of him.
“I could very well ask you the same thing, lass. And since I have the bigger sword, the bigger teeth and the bigger balls here I would suggest you answer first.” Big Charr replied, snarling for emphasis. He was not by nature a cruel creature, but if the woman was afraid of him, he might as well play his role well.
The woman’s face paled, and she gripped her dagger for dear life, “I, uh, I was sheltering from the storm, and I found my way in here,” she paused, breathing hard, “Uh, my…name…is Jala.”
Big Charr rounded her, stepping nearer. Although still dark, the blue light from the stalactite still managed to cast a dim blue glow on most things. In that light Big Charr realised something most odd about this woman. Not only was she pretty (in human terms of course) she was the most perfect specimen of a human female he had ever laid eyes upon.
From the gently curving forehead to the full lips to the rounded breasts – everything on her worked together so perfectly well that she seemed like a fine statue. Everything was so perfect, that it made her one flaw all the more glaring.
She had only one eye. Or so Big Charr assumed, for over her left eye was a black eye-patch. Now his folk were not renowned for any sort of statue-making – they could do little better than the wooden effigies which were only suited for torching – but Big Charr was sure that the woman’s eye-patch did not belong there. She was meant to be perfect, flawless.
“You were sheltering from the storm? I say, that sounds awfully dodgy. How did you manage to work your way down here, little lass? Didn’t the earthquakes and the darkness scare the bloody hell out of you?” he asked after a short while.
“I’m not afraid.” Jala responded curtly. “Now answer my question before I stick you with my sword.”
Big Charr grunted-laughed and bared his fangs, “My shortest tooth is longer than that butter-knife of yours, lass. Now come! I’m not about wasting time chatting with you.” He moistened his nose with his tongue and stepped closer. She seemed to have no smell at all, like the purest water.
He grabbed the dagger easily from her grasp and took hold of her under her arm. He half-dragged her back to the circle of light.
She gasped, but surprisingly did not scream, “Where are you taking me you animal?”
“I’m no animal, lass. I’m a cultured, sentient being just like any human, only bigger and better. You’re coming with me back to my camp.”
“Where you’ll rape and kill me like you did to all those poor people in Ascalon?”
Shut up you blasted bitch! Big Charr yearned to say. “You’ll see.”
With that he guided her back to the others, ignoring her questions and her insults. She grew silent just before they finally reached the campsite and stepped into Heather’s mist of light. Big Charr stiffened in sudden shock.
Karak was standing in the middle of the circle, glowing sword in hand. Still moist blood oozed down its steel blade. Before him knelt Heather and Karissa, hands bound, gagged and blindfolded. He was in the act of decapitating them both with a single strike. The mangled body of Normire lay off to his side.
“Holy shit!” he hollered, chucking Jala to his side and grasping his rapier with both hands. “Put down your weapon, lad! Do it now!”
Karak turned to face him; his eyes burned with such fire that Big Charr could feel it even from where he stood, like a roaring furnace. Every vein bulged, and his muscles tensed so much that his steel armour vibrated.
“Bring it, Charr. You can’t stop me. Even heroes fall before me, and you’re nothing but a talking beast.” The warrior’s voice sounded very odd, as though it was not one voice, but a mixture of at least three.
Well, that was the last straw. No longer could he take such insults to his character. This man Karak had killed both Cyn and now Normire, both of whom had first hand experience in dealing with Ja’al. Now he threatened to kill the last two persons who had even fleeting knowledge of the demon. Someone had to stop this madman.
“What are you waiting for, you dog?” Karak snickered, “Are you afraid? Good, for Ja’al will be mine.”
“I knew you were up to no good you bastard!” Big Charr shouted. He gave a great howl and raised his massive arms. His body trembled as he worked himself into a battle-rage.
At that moment, Habib came sprinting into the circle of light, taking in the situation quicker than dry sand absorbing water. Good. Karak might get me, but he’ll never take down Habib.
Like an out-of-control dolyak, Big Charr rushed Karak, reaching him at the same moment as Habib. Sparks lit up the air as their swords crashed into Karak’s glowing blade. Karak let them slide off his weapon, turned and thrust towards Big Charr with the force of a hurricane.
Big Charr barely evaded the strike, trying to riposte, but meeting nothing but air. Habib sent a flurry of strikes at Karak and so quickly their swords met that it seemed that they were hitting at one another with nothing but air, as sparks danced about them. Seeing that Karak was more focused on Habib, Big Charr saw his chance and lashed out at the armour around Karak’s hamstring.
Steel sliced through steel, as Karak made a satisfying howl and backed away. Habib pressed the assault. Suddenly a blue mist settled about Karak, mending flesh. Damn. He’s a monk as well as a warrior! Every blow that Habib managed to get past Karak’s defences was healed almost instantly. Yet he showed no signs of fatigue.
Habib made another strike, and Karak deflected his rapier into the nearby rock, sending Habib sprawling to his right. Then he lifted his glowing sword and drove it through Habib’s sword arm. Big Charr gasped and lunged towards Karak before he could make another, more fatal strike.
They pummelled into a rock wall beyond, and for a moment, Karak was stunned. Big Charr arced his rapier backwards and brought it crashing into the man’s right arm, disabling his entire hand. Healing breezes swirled around the wound, knitting back the muscle.
But Big Charr continued to strike, at the arms, the abdomen and the legs. His vision swirled with red. He stopped only when he realised that the healing breezes had stopped, and that Karak lay unmoving; staring at something behind him. Is this a feint?
He glanced back, and beheld the scene in the middle of the circle.
Jala was kneeling beside Cyn’s body, moving her hands over him in some sort of incantation. Black mist curled about her figure, and her one eye blazed a demonic crimson. Big Charr was immediately taken back to the image of Ja’al. A very pretty figure surrounded by the darkest night.
So, when dark thoughts my boding spirit shroud, seek the one in darkness’ cloud.
“I knew you could never resist me,” Big Charr thought he heard Jala say, “Now let us crush the world beneath our feet.”
The black miasma swept into Cyn’s orifices – his nose, mouth, ears and pores. Defying all logic, his muscles suddenly tensed and flexed, and he writhed on the ground as the miasma worked through him like a coiling snake. His eyes burst open, but they were entirely black – void of any pupils or irises.
Big Charr felt a terror unlike that he had ever known.
“Oh gods,” the tri-voiced Karak said from behind him, “The crystal shatters, and Death has come.”
Cyn grinned like a maniac. He held Jala in his arms as he rose to his feet, and suddenly, they were gone. Vanishing into the darkness like a puff of smoke.
~The end.~
Notes
A load of thanks goes out to the former members of the Jade Empire, who were very supportive! I don't think I would have even considered doing this without their input. In addition, I'm grateful for all those who allowed me to use their characters - I hope I did them some justice . Also, lemme just big up you guys on this forum. There's lots of talent here, just stick with it guys and make this forum the best collection of GW fan-fic yet. I hope Crystal was entertaining for those who read it and I'll appreciate any crits that you guys may have.
Goodnight, and goodbye for now
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Oct 20, 2006, 09:48 AM // 09:48
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#63
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Frost Gate Guardian
Join Date: May 2006
Location: England
Guild: Society of Souls [Argh]
Profession: E/
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can't think of any way to critisise(sp?) this,
then again i'm not a pro writer like you
lol, i think i'll be re-reading this, for the 4th time
keep up the great work, cyn.
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Dec 30, 2006, 12:25 AM // 00:25
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#64
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Wilds Pathfinder
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: House Zu Heltzer, laughing at them.
Guild: The [GEAR] Trick
Profession: N/Me
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There are a few parts that don't make any sense, but it is still an amazing story. Thank you very much Cyn.
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Jan 01, 2007, 10:40 PM // 22:40
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#65
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Pre-Searing Cadet
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Missouri, US
Guild: Heralds of Pain
Profession: Me/N
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Very nice job, Cyn. I'm glad I finally got around to finish reading this. I'd have to agree with those who say that some parts are confusing, but overall, this is a great story.
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Jan 03, 2007, 03:50 AM // 03:50
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#66
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Ascalonian Squire
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: 2 steps away from reality
Guild: The Guardians of Loyalty [HOPE]
Profession: R/E
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Excellent story!!! I couldn't stop reading it, not for a second. That ending just screams SEQUEL!!!
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Jan 03, 2007, 03:47 PM // 15:47
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#67
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Kind Of A Big Deal
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New Hampshire
Guild: Morituri Nolumus Mori [Mori]
Profession: E/A
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Well, I just stumbled on this little gem today and thoroughly enjoyed it. Can't wait to read the sequel. Very nice job!
__________________
Great deeds are usually wrought at great risks.
Herodotus (484 BC - 430 BC)
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Jan 04, 2007, 10:32 AM // 10:32
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#68
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Lion's Arch Merchant
Join Date: Aug 2006
Guild: Limited Liability Company [LLC]
Profession: E/
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Woah thats some good stuff. I stayed up till 2:30 AM reading... soo adicting
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Jan 10, 2007, 04:54 AM // 04:54
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#69
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Frost Gate Guardian
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Barbados
Guild: Heralds of Pain
Profession: R/E
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Thank you all very much for your comments! I'm very glad that you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading and I hope that you enjoy the sequel also.
By the way, Goats, could you let me know which parts did not make any sense? I will have to clear those parts up!
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Jan 11, 2007, 10:27 PM // 22:27
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#70
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Wilds Pathfinder
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: House Zu Heltzer, laughing at them.
Guild: The [GEAR] Trick
Profession: N/Me
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It's no problem. It's just your wording confused me for a bit. I've read it over again and it makes perfect sense now. It's an amazing story. The only problem is that when I left Guru for a bit, you weren't done. Now you're done this story but I have to wait for you to write the chapters to Obsidian. Boo waiting!
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