Curse

Darky_shady · Jan 24, 2007, 10:02 PM // 22:02

Hehe, so here it is. I've been busy with many school projects and I have many more to come but I found the time to write chapter 3. It is, again, kinda short and it only describes the first 16 years of Riordan rapidly. Next chapter will be about Xakery, his brother. I can't tell anymore and I hope you guys who follows my story will like it

. Here it is.

Chapter 3: Riordan

Riordan, as mentioned earlier, was the son of Alake Noreen and Varick of Zebulon. He was an elf thanks to his elfic mother. They lived in the town of Bracovoch because that is where Varick was raised and he wanted his son to be stronger than him. It was when Riordan was 5, in 18 BC, that his father started to train him to combat. Varick immediately remarked that his son was not really skilled with swords nor polearms. He didn’t like using his fists or fists weapons either. Varick thought his son was going to be an archer or he’d have to learn magic spells.
“No daddy! Taking an arrow in your quiver, placing it on your bow, stretching the bowstring and shooting takes too long!” said Riordan to his father.
“Would you like to learn and study magic spells and be a Wizard then?” replied Varick with a sigh.
“No… no! Magic is for people who can’t show their bravery by not truly fighting!”

Hearing those words, Varick felt discouraged but mostly proud. Proud that his son knew that he wanted to fight for his honor and be brave. He sent a message to his blacksmith in Zebulon saying that he wanted him to create a new weapon. A new weapon with the lightness of a one-handed sword and the power of a polearm. Once the message received, the blacksmith started immediately to work on the weapon for his baron. He took 3 blades of Katzbalger, the hilt of the Baron’s Tizona and forged them together. He then shaped a blue star on the grip and added some precious stones on the pommel and around the star. He vertically melted the 3 blades on the hilt so that the point of each blade could make only 1 point and the full blade had a triangular shape. When he was finished, he asked a guard to bring it to Varick, which he did immediately.

“Master Varick, your blacksmith has just finished creating this weapon and he wants you to have it.” said the guard, kneeling down and holding the weapon in his 2 hands.
“Thank you, you may leave, replied Varick with a strong voice, this is exactly what I wanted… Riordan, come here!”
When Riordan showed up and saw that weapon, he was astonished. That beautiful thing had make him smile.
“What’s that sword dad?” did he ask.
“It’s not really a sword, it’s a weapon with the lightness of a sword but with the power of a polearm. Hey, there’s a letter hooked on it.”

“Dear Baron Varick, I have completed the weapon you asked for. It surely is light and powerful. I thought that, with a good strength, you could even throw it. I am sure that you recognized that hilt. It is your Tizona’s. I hope you are not mad but I thought that it had to be the most beautiful hilt for these blades. Sincerely, your Blacksmith.”

“Throwing it hm? You know what, this will be your own weapon. It is unique in all of Dargoton, and it is called “Spear”.” Varick said to Riordan with a smile, handing the weapon to his son.
“Whoa! Thanks a lot dad!”.

That weapon was perfect for that little boy who started right away to train with it. He loved it. He grew up with it and it became so popular that people tried to recopied it but failed. When he was 15, his brother and himself were having a lot of fun playing together. His brother was trained by some guy in the village and soon became a Wizard. At the age of 16, Riordan mastered so well the “Spear” that Lord Aram himself came to Bracovoch and asked him to join Dargoton’s Elite Forces. He immediately accepted since he would train with the strongest and mightiest people all over Dargoton. Varick was very proud of his son. He’d never thought that his son would join those Forces and at the age of 16! Dargoton’s Elite Forces was leaded by a Drakinfe Dragon Master named Ryu. He was followed by an Elfic Enchantress called Meiling, an Elfic Paladin named Sabery and Draco, the Human Dragon Master.

“I am glad that a so young recruit joins us.” said Ryu to Riordan.
He then turned himself to Aram and continued:
“My Lord, what will be the recruit’s first task?”
“I trust in Riordan, and I know that with him, you shall be able to slain Kabaki, the fiercesome Wyvern.” replied Aram, with a serious voice.
“Are you crazy my Lord, I don’t want my son to get killed!” shouted Varick.
“Don’t worry Baron, your son is in good hand.” said Ryu.
“Varick, I know that Kabaki as always been a menace for you. My father has told me for what happened when you were on your way to help him conquer Celeste, restarted Aram, but this time, this time it’s different. I see a great potential in your son, and he is the missing element to my Elite Forces. He is the one who will help and finally put an end to Kabaki’s reign.”
“But what do you do with the legend? Don’t you want someone to tame him instead? Killing him must be impossible!” shouted Varick, again.
“If killing him is impossible, than taming him would be harder. Don’t you realize Varick, if you try to tame Kabaki, you must almost kill him, and taming that monster is not a hundred percent sure to work. It is in fact easier to kill him. If someone wants to tame him, let it be. He’s the one who will get killed. I’m asking the easier Varick, I’m counscious that Riordan is only 16, but he will greatly help us. You have my word Baron Varick the Honorable of Zebulon, if your child dies, his death shall remove me from my throne.”
On those words, he added:
“You have 10 days left Riordan. And don’t forget, I am counting on you to slain that monstrous thing.”

He then left with his troops to Zebulon, where they would meet and where Riordan would leave for his quest. Xakery, who heard all of this, was starting to be jealous of his brother. He always dreamed of being in the Dargoton’s Elite Forces. That’s how he left Bracovoch without any words, lonely, and started to get evil…

Yes there are still some grammatical errors, so what? Doesn't all my chapters have grammatical errors? XD ...I suck

Darky_shady · Jan 28, 2007, 11:41 PM // 23:41

Comments/critics are greatly appreciated. I know that not a lot of people follow my story but still, I greatly need these. Thank you.

Unreal Cyn · Jan 29, 2007, 12:45 AM // 00:45

Don't forget that you don't have to create a whole new thread for your chapters man! But as for the story just keep going with it and stop berating yourself. As folks warm to the story and you keep them interested, I'm sure that you will get more readers and even some comments.

I wonder though if you're going back to the approach you took in the first chapter, that is, less of a narrative and more of an actual story. I mean, right now your telling us what happened, like in a history book or something. Don't get me wrong tho, if that's what you were looking to do go for it and all.

But if you don't mind, could you let us know more about your world? Every other story here is based on GW, so we have a good idea about the setting, but here I can't really visualise where these folks live. Give us some description, bossman, and you could explain what all those terms mean, like Draknife and Elfic Enchantress, just so we know and don't assume.

I like how you contrast the two brothers btw. I mean, Riordan is trained by his father - the baron - and is given a fancy weapon and all. Xakery on the other hand is trained by 'some guy in the village' and given the cold shoulder. Cha. I guess it sucks to be him right now eh?

But, of course, all of this is just my on-the-fly opinion, since you want some comments. Keep going. The more you write and read the better you'll get.

Darky_shady · Jan 29, 2007, 03:53 AM // 03:53

Well I am actually creating new threads to get more people to read them! I'm sorry if it bothers you but if they see that thread and start to like the chapter they saw, they'll go back and be hooked.

Yep, it is more of an actual story. I've only made the chapter 2 to tell a bit the story about the world, etc. Yes that's what I'm looking to do, an actual story. As the story goes on and on, it might start to become more of an historic story. I don't know if you understand what I mean though. Anyways, I'm only a 15 years old kid with a lot of imagination. :P

About my world? Ha! Sure, I've drawed the World Map already. It's pretty ugly (rofl) and Guild Wars-looking. If you want, I will scan my map and post it up with some explanations, etc. As for the Drakinfe and Elfic Enchantress, Elfic is a term to say that you're an elf :P and Enchantress is a Class. Drakinfe is actually a Race half-human-half-dragon. This whole story is based on a game I wanted to make with a friend but who left me alone. I decided to leave the game and start a story. If you want, I can post the classes, races, weapons and armors description with the World Map.

Haha, the two brothers, I knew someone would talk about them. Riordan is actually the first born of the brothers and since he is and elf and he ressemble to his father, Varick decided to make his son like him. Since Xakery is a Drakinfe and his parents are Elfic and Human (I will explain how come he is a Drakinfe in the next chapter), he thought that magic was the best fighting tool, but not their parents. He was so different that he decided to get trained by that mysterious guy who is actually a drakinfe too! (Omg now i'm revealing some of chap4..) It actually sucks to be him... but as for the "right now"....eh..you'll see. I'm not talking much about Xakery because this is a chapter dedicated to Riordan. Chapter 4: Xakery. O_O

Well this is actually cheering me up a lot and I'm going to work on my chap 4 soon. I'm really happy that you're enjoying my story so.. happy reading :P.