Curse

freakdaddy · Mar 15, 2007, 02:10 AM // 02:10

The day started as any other. Bright hot elonian sun beat down on my face as I checked my coin-purse for gold. Noticing that I was running low I decided to go on the look out for the elusive Dead Sword. As I arrived in the Bone Palace I thought to myself how bad I had hated this place before. I thought how arrogant Joko was and the smell (phew) Omg!! this smell is horrible. Looking around at the stone-face travelers I thought to myself "Now the journey begins". I took refuge near a cold stony pillar to undress from my armor, so as to show my extensive dragon tattoos the were painstakingly put on so long ago. Looking down and touching my arms and chest I had forgotten about Tyria and all the gorgeous places of my homeland. The tattoos are what always takes me back; back to a time when all this was new and exciting. Now after trekking through Cantha and dealing with Shiro I found myself on a new journey to a new land. This land though beautiful has taking all of my resources. After checking my pack one last time I made sure to find my totem axe and grim cesta. I decided to recite my enchantments on the way to the wurm spoor. Upon arriving near the wurm spoor I took one look around and said "Here goes nothing!". Just as I knelt beside this beautiful creature it sprung from the ground and swallowed me whole. So the journey begins.......

freakdaddy · Mar 15, 2007, 02:27 AM // 02:27

As I made my way through the Elementals and undead I found myself near the Primeval King and his followers. Something just didn't feel right though. Why was he just standing there out in the open all alone with the exception of eight ghostly figures? Before I knew it hordes of undead slaves stormed the King and he was dead. I knew something had to be done so I knelt down and started reciting my enchantments in order of importance. Only resting in between to catch my breath before starting more. I clinched my trusty totem Axe and ran head first into battle with over 50 undead slaves surrounding me. Once I made it to the middle I casted my most powerful skill "Shield of Judgment". All the while I couldn't stop thinking about what I had just witnessed. The slaves undead bodies started to fall around me and then they began to disappear. The last slave fell at my feet I noticed a group of powerful margonites off in the distance along with the unforgetable sounds of hungry giants whom roam these parts looking for hapless travelers to get close enough. So I began the boring process of sorting through the loot that lay at my feet all the while mindful of my nearby enemies. After moving a rather ugly purple copper-leaf shield I noticed that what I initially thought was just a normal pile of bones was actually what I had come hear to find a req. of nine Golden Dead Sword with the max modifications. After an emince since of relief I started back towards the wurm spoor to head back into town when in my carelessness and joy of my newly acquired riches I accidentally stumbled into the group of fierce margonites. So the journey continues......

Storm Crow · Mar 15, 2007, 02:32 AM // 02:32

Wow. I nearly stopped when you used "Omg!!", but I'm feeling nice after just finishing some chocolate ice cream and decided to let you slide. Now for your dose of criticism.

Firstly, NEVER under ANY circumstances use abbreviations or "chat talk" suck as "OMG" or "WTF". This invokes thoughts in your readers of poor grammar and/or spelling. It also makes many people beleive you do not care about your witing enough to spell out "Oh my God.", etcetera.

Second, ALWAYS capitalize proper nouns! This includes names (Jane), places (Oakland Park), titles (Doctor), specifiers (Senior, Ph. D.), and languages (French).

Third, please, PLEASE use proper grammar and spelling! Always create a new paragraph when someone begins speaking, with either a comma or a period/question mark/exclamation point INSIDE the quotation marks!!! I do not know how much I can stress that point. Anyway, to continue, if you're not sure how to spell a word, check the dictionary, or sites such as http://www.m-w.com and http://www.dictonary.com. Sometimes hypenated words are a bit confusing, and even I, Miss Egotism, can admit I make spelling mistakes all the time. More on grammar, make sure you have subject-verb agreement. This is to say, if the subject is plural, make the ver plural. Like this: Each dog chased their ball. This sentence is incorrect. The word "their" is plural, while "dog" is singular. This is how the sentence should be: Each dog chased his ball. Not so hard.

Hope that helps a bit..

freakdaddy · Mar 15, 2007, 02:47 AM // 02:47

wow!

Thanks for the criticism, but I was just doing this for fun never thought of it as anything else though.

I can however once I re-read it see your point. Maybe the next one I write I will bust out my college english books for proper help...lol (ooops sorry *laughs out loud*)

no disrespect all in good fun.