Curse

Maldeus · Jul 25, 2008, 10:59 PM // 22:59

Feedback is appreciated, including (and especially) constructive criticism.

A Message from a Friend

Ascalon City

Ashen grunted and heaved the crate full of some kind of Ascalonian good into the cart of the Krytan merchant. Ascalons didn't generally work for Krytans (though they had no trouble buying from them), but the Guild Wars were over and Ashen was flat-out broke. He wondered for the hundredth time if maybe he should go back to Ashford Abbey and take up his families blacksmith business.

But no, he was never much good at blacksmithing, and he hadn't learned much of it as a boy, either. It was no secret among his friends here in the city that what he wanted, what he was good at, was to be a member of the Ascalon Guard. But the Guild Wars were over and the Guard was no longer recruiting.

Ashen returned to the warehouse and lifted up another crate which, for all he knew, contained illegal imports, and began hauling it back over to the Krytans' cart. He was one of four odd jobbers hired to load up the cart. Ashen could probably get a full time job at some warehouse doing this kind of thing, but he didn't want to be tied down to anything. If he got a chance at the life of battle he yearned for, he wanted to be able to jump on it.

"Ashen!" someone called as Ashen shoved the crate onto the cart. Ashen turned around, scanning the crowd of people bustling around this, one of the busiest streets of Ascalon City, for the person who'd called his name. "Ashen Leonidas!" the person called again. It was a town crier.

"I'm Ashen Leonidas," Ashen said as he approached the town crier. "Do you have a message for me?"

"Yes," the town crier said, "It's from Sir Tydus, he says he wants to meet with you in the town square."

That wasn't far from here. "Did he say why?" Ashen asked.

"He said something about Prince Rurik's Vanguard, but he didn't mention any details." the town crier said. "Would you like to send a return message?"

"What? No." Ashen said, and took off running. He knew the town crier had asked only as a formality, seeing as he was going to go and see Sir Tydus immediately. But as he ran towards the square, his mind was turning over the reasons for this meeting. Was he going to be asked to join the Ascalon Vanguard? Why else would Sir Tydus be asking to meet with him? But this wasn't the Guard, this was the Vanguard. It's not just anyone who joins the Vanguard, and Ashen had never had professional training.

Ashen found Tydus in the square, sitting in a chair beneath a shaded roadside cafe. Ashen walked over to the cafe and said "You wanted to see me?" He tried to sound only professionally interested in the discussion. He was fairly certain it wasn't working.

"There you are, Ashen! Have a seat. I've been looking for you everywhere. You weren't at any of the usual places." Sir Tydus said.

Ashen sat down and said "I had a job with a...A merchant." Ashen said, deciding at the last minute not to mention it was a Krytan merchant.

"What kind of job?" Tydus asked quizzically.

"Just some lifting," Ashen said, "If there was anything illicit involved, I wouldn't have known."

"Of course not," Tydus said, "You're Ashen Leonidas. If anything illicit was involved, you'd have beaten him black and blue and handed him over to the Guard." Ashen smiled at that. "But I've got to be quick. There's a lot to do these days. King Adelbern has ordered a new offensive against the Charr. This is your chance for glory and adventure, Ashen. I know you've been waiting long for this."

"Yes," Ashen said, "Of course, but the town crier said this was about the Vanguard, and I'd love to be apart of this, but I don't have the kind of training to-"

"I know," Sir Tydus interrupted, "You won't last five minutes north of the wall as you are now, Ashen, but you've got more determination then half the men in the Vanguard now. I'll tell you what: Head out the south gate, to Lakeside County. I'll have Van meet you there and teach you something about how to fight as a real warrior."

"Thank you, Sir Tydus," Ashen said, "You won't regret this."

"I know I won't," Tydus said, "Now go, if Van gets there before you do, he won't wait around long." Ashen nodded, stood up, and left, heading towards the gate. He was going to be a Vanguard.

GoodApollo1234 · Jul 26, 2008, 01:54 AM // 01:54

I like it, but if I were you, I'd do a search/replace on your main character's name. "Ashen Leonidas" just doesn't sound very clever or original to me. You'd be better off coming up with a name from scratch.

But still, good writing.

Maldeus · Jul 26, 2008, 07:38 PM // 19:38

Ashen was made from scratch. Leonidas was my brothers suggestion and inserted completely because I needed a last name...Thinking on it, I'll likely never refer to him by his last name ever again. But I rather like the name "Ashen."

Freke · Jul 26, 2008, 07:53 PM // 19:53

Stooded?

12c

Maldeus · Jul 28, 2008, 08:18 PM // 20:18

Fixed that. And what does 12c mean?

Rothan Celt · Jul 30, 2008, 10:09 AM // 10:09

Bravo wish ya gave more =)

Maldeus · Aug 14, 2008, 11:19 PM // 23:19

Right, weer and I'm finally posting a follow-up. Apologies it took so long, but I should be updating at least once a week from now on. Also, the chapter title does not, in fact, coincide with the actual name of the quest described in this chapter. This is because "Warrior Test" doesn't sound terribly epic.

War Preperations

Lakeside County

Ashen jogged out the city gates, which were clear at this time of day. Most of the merchants who would be coming into the city that day had already arrived, and those who were going to leave would not do so for several more hours. Ashen could see two others waiting around outside, but neither of them were dressed in the armor of the Ascalon Guard. There were also a few monks and a girl, maybe ten or eleven years old, surrounding a shrine, but that was to be expected.

Ashen approached the two standing in the middle of the road. "I don't suppose either of you are named Van?" he asked.

They shook their heads and the woman said "We're waiting for him, too. You get a message from Sir Tydus, correct?"

"Yes," Ashen said, "He said Van would be out soon. Is anyone else coming?"

"We're not sure," the woman said, "Tydus didn't mention how many people were coming."

"Huh," Ashen said, looking around. A merchant from Ashford was headed in to the city, late, but other than that the area was deserted. There wasn't much to the south of Ascalon City, after all, just Fort Ranik and Ashford, mostly. "I'm Ashen Lionel," he said after a bit.

"Kira Hawke," the woman responded.

"What about you?" Ashen asked the other man.

"I am Stefan Baruch," the man said, pounding his chest for emphasis. A tough guy, then. Ashen wondered which of them would come out on top in a fight, but now was neither the time nor place to find out, even though he guessed Stefan would be more than willing.

Ashen sat down and looked around. Still no sign of Van. "I wonder how long it took to build the wall?" Stefan asked.

Ashen thought about it for a moment. It spanned the whole of Ascalon, and it was massive in terms of both heigh and thickness. Construction of the foundation wouldn't have taken long with Nolani's geomancers helping things along, but the actual construction of the wall would've have to have been done manually. "Probably at least fifteen years." Ashen said finally, looking at the massive structure. "The Charr won't be penetrating that monster anytime soon." he added. "And since they can't defeat us, it's only a matter of time before we punch north and defeat them."

"Yeah!" Stefan said, punching his fist in the air. Clearly, the concept of defeating the Charr excited him.

"But things aren't going too well for us north of the wall in recent times," Kira said, "The Charr have been hitting our towns and cities out there harder and harder. Surmia pushed off a Charr attack just a week ago, and Nolani just two weeks before that. If the Charr were to attack Piken now, it would probably fall."

"Well, that's what we're for." Ashen said. "By the time the Charr attack Piken, we'll be there to stop them, along with the rest of the Vanguard."

"And if the Charr attack before we're through with our training?" Kira asked.

"Then we'll go out to fight 'em anyway," Ashen said. Van shouted his approval again.

"Three half-trained vanguards against a Charr horde?" Kira said, "I don't think that would be an even match."

"Yeah, well, we'll fight left-handed, just to give the Charr a sporting chance." Ashen said. Kira and Stefan laughed.

"I like you, Ashen," Kira said, "You're optimistic without being stupid."

"Thanks," Ashen said.

"What about me?" Stefan asked, "I want to kill the Charr and save Piken, too!"

"Yes, but you fail on the 'stupid' part of the test." Kira said, in a tone that suggested she didn't really care.

"Hey!" Stefan said.

"Look," Ashen said, pointing down the road, "I think that's Van." A man in the armor of the Ascalon Guard was walking down the road from the city carrying a bundle. When he arrived, he put the bundle down on the ground and unrolled it. Inside were three short swords.

"Take them," Van said, "Ordinarily we'd start you off with something wooden, but the Charr are stepping up their attacks and we're short on time, so we'll have to skip the kiddie gloves." The three picked up the swords. Ashen started testing the weight of his. Having been raised by blacksmiths, he knew full well this was not a terribly well-forged blade, but it would do. "But Sir Tydus reassures me that you're all rather talented already." Van continued. Stefan was giving his sword a few over-heroic, experimental swings. "Of course, two out of three isn't a bad track record, all things considered.

"First off, there are three basic attributes necesarry to be an effective warrior. Strength, speed, and precision. It looks like the three of you have strength in spades already. You're probably fast enough on your own as well. But let's see about precision. You there, what's your name?" Van pointed to Ashen.

"Ashen Lionel," Ashen said.

"Alright then, Ashen," Van said, "Take a swing at me with the flat side of your blade." Ashen shifted his weight so that it was evenly distributed over both legs and swung his sword at Van. Van swatted it aside and smacked Ashen's neck with the flat of his own blade. "What Ashen lacks," Van said, "Is both speed and precision, though that swing probably could've killed a wild boar if it could hit anything.

"Now, there are five basic swings that make up the backbone of almost every attack..." Van spent the next two hours showing them how exactly to strike the enemy on the head, left and right flanks, and the left and right legs, how to block each of those strikes, and then drilling the three of them on it until they could perform any one of them reflexively, then drilling them on it for speed, constantly telling them to go faster, and faster.

"Halt!" Van shouted in the middle of the drill. By this point, sweat was trickling down Ashen's neck and he badly wanted to get a drink from the nearby stream. "Hmph..." he said, surveying them, "You'll do, I suppose. Most fights you'll want to be less agressive than this, but not by much. For the test I've got in mind for you today, however, the frenzied pace of attack I've been teaching you is exactly what you'll need.

There's some Skale down by the river, disturbing the peace, attacking small children, and being a general nuisance. They're far enough removed from Ashford that they're not a significant threat, and they're the perfect test run for recruits like you. Clear all the skale out, and I mean all of them. Now go."

Ashen, Kira, and Stefan headed down to the river. They could see a pack of about ten Skale on the banks. "Shouldn't we do this with some kind of plan?" Ashen asked.

"Bah!" Stefan said, "Look at those tiny things! We don't need a plan to take care of them!"

"Besides which," Kira said, "Any plan more complicated than 'charge' is likely to be fouled up by our ingenius comrade."

"Right, then. For Ascalon!" Ashen shouted, charging towards the Skale, Kira and Stefan racing after him. Van had explained to them that the five attacks would be basically the same against any vaguely humanoid enemy. These Skale certainly had arms, legs, and a head.

Ashen brought his sword down on the first Skale's head. His sword sunk into it, killing the Skale instantly, while two of its friends lashed out savagely at Ashen, who let go of his sword to jump back out of the way, falling down when he landed. Stefan charged blindly in, swinging his sword towards the Skale wildly, his blows only vaguely reminiscient of those they'd spent the last two hours learning, while Kira chopped at one of the Skale attacking Ashen with a calm, controlled strike.

Ashen quickly got to his feet and ripped off a dry tree branch from a nearby tree and swung it in huge arcs at the Skale, scaring them off. Then he rushed to the corpse of the Skale he'd killed and retrieved his weapon. He slashed through one Skale's arm to the bone and then cut again into its neck, but as he did so one of the the Skale raked its claws across his leg, leaving three shallow cuts through his skin. Ashen then pulled his sword out and brought it down on another Skale's head.

Ashen stepped back from the battle to get his bearings. Stefan had been clawed up badly, but had torn through about five Skale. There were none left by the river. "I need a monk." Stefan said, looking over his injuries. "Where's a monk?" he asked.

"Let's head back to Van. He's not too far and he'll be able to sort this out." Ashen said. Van nodded and the three of them returned to Van.

"Well, it took you long enough. And I see you haven't come out of the battle unscathed." Van said. He reached into a pouch on the side of his armor and pulled out a few small healing signets. "Here," he said, "These will patch up those wounds. They're no match for a good monk in the middle of a fight, but they're more than good enough for your injuries. I'm headed back to town now. Haversdan will meet you here tomorrow at dawn to continue your training."

--------------

Kira was made up on the spot for the sake of providing someone more interesting to talk to then Stefan, and because I wanted more than two people learning from Van. I hadn't originally planned for her to be there at all, there was just going to be some mostly faceless third person. I wanted an interesting character and I got one; the conversation between her and Ashen went on a lot longer than suspected. Also, I hope none of you are too attached to Stefan, because making fun of him will probably be a staple of this story for as long as he's still around.

Also, you'll notice Ashen's last name has spontaneously changed itself. Expect a lot of this until I figure out one that works. I would like something that implies a lion somehow, which is why I went with Leonidas when my brother suggested it (at the time I had no idea how big an impact 300 was going to have on mainstream culture, and I felt the name was safely obscure). Other options I'm considering are Lionheart, Leonheart, or Lionkin. If you have some suggestions (even if they don't fit the lion motif), please don't hesitate to offer them.

Also also, if anyone's wondering, the bit about Van teaching the three fledgling warriors about where and how to swing their swords is only slightly modified from sabre fencing techniques, and thus may actually be completely useless in battle. And it also seemed like the story went downhill pretty quick from that point onward. Maybe it's just me.