Curse

DarkNecrid · Aug 28, 2008, 09:42 PM // 21:42

He,....he's banned....but i need my SSSG....i need it.

Clearly this is Ghalis doing something from beyond the grave...

Accursed · Aug 29, 2008, 12:13 AM // 00:13

Why the hell is he banned?

He shouldn't get banned... He still owes us Chapter 3!

mastar of warrior · Aug 30, 2008, 03:11 PM // 15:11

why? i need chapter 3?...

maraxusofk · Sep 12, 2008, 08:38 PM // 20:38

“How in the nine Hells did this Elonian master all 10 professions? This is absolutely ridiculous! Also I am an archer from the Dungeons & Dragons Universe but I thought it would be cool to play Guild Wars,” moaned an archer. "

i lol'ed, then i came. im not sure which one happened first as it was too epic a story.

DarkNecrid · Sep 12, 2008, 09:21 PM // 21:21

he's unbanned!

Rusty, I demand Chapter 3.

Now.

mastar of warrior · Sep 16, 2008, 06:33 PM // 18:33

Chapter 3 Cmon Rusty!!

Maybe he wrote several new chapters when beig banned

xRustyx · Sep 19, 2008, 06:57 AM // 06:57

Fear not my children, for I will never be exiled. Only temporarily, for the Gods of Guru are jealous of my beautiful looks. But this is not about me. This is about Goren, and so we shall return to the story of one man's revenge against the tyranny of evil...

“Y’ALL FOOLS GONNA GET MERKED! FOR MY ELONIANS BACK IN ATL STILL HOLDIN IT DOWN!!!!” screamed Rusty as he blasted his Uzi.
“Save your ammunition! These are only level 10s! Here, use this long sword!” advised Goren as he tossed the melee weapon. Rusty had forgotten to bring more ammunition from Earth on his way to Tyria.
“Naw, hell no! I ain’t using no sword. I ain’t no Peter Pan, damn dawg that just ain’t gangsta!” bellowed Rusty at the top of his lungs as he emptied his Glock into a terrorist’s chest. “Damn dawg I just ran out of extended clips! Mayne this ain’t fair yo, it’s like the popos back home workin them snitches yo, trynna put me in jail! Aiyyo G-man, toss me that glass shield! I ain’t using no wackass sword, but that shield is pimpin!”
“It is not a glass shield. This is a Tormented Shield. It was given to me by Prince Rurik, when he was still alive. Do not dishonour his memory.” Goren sighed in amusement and handed the shield to Rusty.
Rusty threw the shield and decapitated a terrorist. “Damn yo!! This be some Captain America shit! Mayne you ever seen 300 yo? I feel like Leonidas dawg, THIS IS TYRIA!!!”
Goren could not resist laughing. His quest for justice with his new partner was a lot more fun than he expected. “You enjoy killing people too much, Rusty.”
“Mayne I been on the streets since I was 13, killing people be my past time yo. It ain’t no thing, I capped more suckas than I can remember trynna step up to me you feel? This shit natural instinct yo, cuz I got the mind of a lunatic!”
“Yes, you have. There is the guild lord! TAKE HIM DOWN! VICTORY OR DEATH!!!!” screamed Goren.
“Aiyyo wait. Dawg why he walking towards us? Mayne that’s some weak shit. This Guild Lord be some dumbass yo. I mean dawg we like slaughter everybody right, and now he walkin towards us? He gon die yo, that ain’t the way the game is supposed to be played. Let me holla at this cat for a moment, G-man.”
“Alright. Go ahead. I need to rest anyway,” panted Goren. Today, they had ransacked three third guild halls for clues of where Devona’s assassins were. Dwayna had not blessed them with luck. Perhaps it was time to pray to Melandru, thought Goren.
“Yo gay lord, I mean Guild Lord, (damn I’m good) yo why you walkin man? Don’t you think it would be better if you just stood there? I mean damn walkin to the flagstand and shit, that just ain’t cool. Everybody gon know where you gon go, how you gonna walk! Shit be easy to exploit wit them Area of Effect spells yo!”
The Guild Lord stopped and thought to himself for a moment. “Perhaps you are right. I shall stop walking and stand still like a post from the start of the match. It may be a catalyst for a more offense-oriented metagame.”
“Aiyyo I’m glad you feel me, but you gonna have to die now cuz I gotta cap you to win the match. Damn man this world so violent, it’s like back in Afganistan you know?”
The Guild Lord sighed regretfully, “Yes, I am afraid I will have to die. It seems no one cares about my pain. Sometimes when teams are turtling I compare myself to Prometheus, who had to suffer daily. He had his insides eaten out by eagles, only to regrow. I have to be killed, only to respawn. What kind of evil entity would condemn me to such a tormented life?”

The Guild Lord’s eyes widened as a blade was thrust through his heart. As his corpse fell, Goren’s cold face was revealed. He whispered, “The game is the game.”
“Damn right! Preach it brotha, preach it! Damn dawg you got eyes of a killer mayne, eyes of a killer. Hot diggity shit that some Terminator shit feel me?”
“The only thing I am feeling right now is the pain of losing Devona.”
“Yeah dawg, but you got to remember, plat over bitches yo. You can lose a lot of money chasing women, but you never lose women chasing money. Belee dat.”
“Sometimes I feel a lot of the things you say are irrelevant to our situation.”
“Well dawg, I’m so high off that chronic gotta lace the dro wit the syrup.”
“Once again you have completely lost me in the conversation with your dialect.”
“Yo dawg you want some of this puff puff pass mayne?” croaked Rusty as he took a hit off his Batman bong. “Mayne this some Christian Bale shit!”
“I do not. You should not smoke so much of that chronic substance. It could lead to other bad drugs, such as Canthan white powder. I have seen many succumb to the desire of Canthan white.”
“Dawg it’s all bout moderation yo, y’all know what it is. Most people ain’t disciplined, that’s why they be weaklings. But dawg I got more discipline than Shaolin Monks yo. This shit right here like the Red Army, scorched earth shit. Work hard, play harder that’s my motto like it ain’t no thang.”
“Enough talk. We must look for clues.”
“Yeah dawg you do that shit, Imma get baked right here. Damn mayne one day when we finish going into the Underworld and all that gangsta shit we gon def get hyphy and you gon take a hit.”
“Sometimes I worry about you.” Goren shook his head and began searching for clues.

Goren studied the maps in silence, his stone cold eyes holding back the fiery rage in his heart. He had found a map that lead to the exact location of where Devona’s killers would be. Goren had to plot carefully where to go. They had to head through treacherous Amfah territory, and he had bad history with the Amfah. If Devona’s murderers turned out to be allied with the Amfah, Goren was not sure how he could assault the heart of Amfah nation and survive. Rusty pranced impatiently in the background.

Suddenly Rusty shrieked, “YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!” Goren spun around, his battle stance ready for any ambush. All he saw was Rusty prancing around. Sighing, Goren inquired, “What exactly are you doing? Is it an Earthian ritual?”
“Nah dawg, this be some Souljah Boi shit ya dig? Wait… you telling me you ain’t know who the biggest sellout in the rap game be? SOULJAH BOY UP IN DIS HO, SUPERMAN HOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”
Goren stood in silence.
“Damn dawg I gotta teach you this shit mayne, how you gon survive in the world without knowing who Souljah Boi be, knowing this dance be like social capital holmes. All the ladies be ready to grind on me when I pop out them Souljah poses.”
“This is considered good music, in your world?”
“Hahah hell naw, this some wackass music Souljah Boi be some pussy kid gon get capped in the next 10 years, sellout bitchass candyass rappers yo. Nah mayne the song be wack, but dawg… he got a nice dance! YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!”
“Stop. We have to go. We are about to tread through deadly territory owned by the Amfah. Rumour has it there are over 10,000 Level 24 Assassins patrolling their turf at any time.”
“Damn shit gon be poppin off again so soon! This adventure be more exciting than the Barbie shit I did last year yo! Click clack tool up cuz we goin to war again homie G-man!”
“Not exactly. We are not going to kill them, unless they attack us.”
“Why not dawg? You don’t think we can’t handle ten thousand troopers? Mayne that ain’t shit, I handled ten thousand bricks of cocaine like it ain’t shit dawg, Amfah whatever Imma put these bitches in ditches.”
“I have an informal truce with them. Once we went to war. But now, no more. But the truce is not set in stone. The terms were that I would never step foot in their nation again. Let’s hope that the night and foilage shall disguise us.”
“Yoyoyo homie G wait. Dawg it’s in the jungle?”
“Yes.”
“Mayne, you lucky I got my BA from the Uni of Gangstacribbaz. I got them street smarts yo.”
“You’ve lost me.”
“What I mean is that I have an idea.”
“I was not aware you could speak normally.”
”Yeah well dawg, I only do it when none of my homies around, gotta keep that gangsta rep n pop my colla. Anyway holmes, it’s time to do some Solid Snake shit dawg.”

5 hours later…

“SCRUBS? SCRUBS? You want us to traverse the deadliest area known to Cantha in nothing but scrubs?!”
“Aiyyo dawg chill, these scrubs be good! The best kinda scrubs man, the scrubbiest of scrubs. I got them from my Tombs homies mayne! Trust me on this dawg, I ain’t trippin!”
“Unbelievable. I suppose it is better than nothing.”
“That’s the spirit dawg, we in them scrubs when we ride on our enemies, they gonna get merked by some foilage dawg hahahaha!”

Goren and Rusty stepped through the shimmering portal. “Aiyyo dawg are those words in the air? Amfah Nation PVE Explorable Area? Dawg man I only did shrooms yesterday this is mad trippy mayne… HOLD ME GOREN HOLD ME!”
“Those words are the work of Gods.”
“Fosho? They juss look like Arial size 12 to me mayne.”
“Forget the words. We must ascend upon the enemy, covered in darkness… as scrubs.”

TO BE CONTINUED…..

Auron of Neon · Sep 19, 2008, 07:00 AM // 07:00

Oh man chapter 3.

Avarre · Sep 19, 2008, 09:44 AM // 09:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by xRustyx

The Guild Lord stopped and thought to himself for a moment. “Perhaps you are right. I shall stop walking and stand still like a post from the start of the match. It may be a catalyst for a more offense-oriented metagame.”

I was surprised you could type normal dialogue for a second.

FlamingMetroid · Sep 20, 2008, 05:16 PM // 17:16

I came as soon as I herd

Deathaxe Raizer · Sep 22, 2008, 09:42 PM // 21:42

Running out of tissues.

Anime Divine · Sep 24, 2008, 09:14 AM // 09:14

lol people @ school kept looking why i was laughing at my screen.
i just read this story lol great work!!
i want more

Arkantos · Sep 26, 2008, 12:19 AM // 00:19

Who needs porn when you have Rusty's epic stories?

I do, but the stories are still pretty amazing.

maraxusofk · Sep 26, 2008, 07:20 PM // 19:20

epic quote "Goren and Rusty stepped through the shimmering portal. “Aiyyo dawg are those words in the air? Amfah Nation PVE Explorable Area? Dawg man I only did shrooms yesterday this is mad trippy mayne… HOLD ME GOREN HOLD ME!” "

yesh!