Curse

SpotJorge · Aug 05, 2008, 07:27 PM // 19:27

.. if Goren forgot ress signet seems like whe will have 1 less hench to pick in outposts ..

Gratz for good work

DarkNecrid · Aug 06, 2008, 05:30 PM // 17:30

So when's the next chapter.

I need this Rusty.

Kerwyn Nasilan · Aug 06, 2008, 07:26 PM // 19:26

Best Story on Guru xD

Arkantos · Aug 06, 2008, 10:48 PM // 22:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kerwyn Nasilan

Best Story on Guru xD

Also the only good story, imo.

AidinSwiftarrow · Aug 12, 2008, 01:32 AM // 01:32

LMAO, awesome.

FlamingMetroid · Aug 13, 2008, 02:35 AM // 02:35

toasting in an epic bread
awesome story

xRustyx · Aug 22, 2008, 06:15 PM // 18:15

AND SO WE CONTINUE WITH OUR JOURNEY OF THE LEGEND, THE MYTH, THE SUPER SECRET SPY GOREN...

"He's gone rogue. Dwayna save us all," whispered Koss. The Canthan Intelligence Agency had just lost its best agent, Super Secret Spy Goren. "We have no choice. We have to kick him from the guild," said Mhenlo reluctantly. “But he’ll lose support of all our NPCs!” exclaimed Koss. “We have been planning our strategy for the monthly automated tournament against the Xunlai terrorist cell soon! If he comes back, he won’t be able to participate! He’s our best field agent, we need him to lead our squad!”

“You think he’s coming back? He’s never coming back. The Xunlai just killed the only love of his life. Now there will be Hell to pay. And we’ll have to clean it up. I haven’t seen anything this exciting since the Centaur Wars,” said Zhed, stamping his hoofs in excitement. “Besides, no one plays in the monthlies anyway.”

While the CIA were debating on what to do about their rogue agent, Goren was punishing every Xunlai-related guild he could find. He spared nobody, there was nothing but rage in his heart. Currently his wrath fell upon the Stonehammers, a Dwarven faction notorious for using brutal mutilation of their enemies, especially Elonians. They were in the middle of a fierce territory expansion, working hand-in-hand with the Xunlai. It was an uneasy alliance, as the Dwarves had a reputation of only working with their own race. But they had given their word there would be no backstabbing, and as we all know, a Dwarf’s word was stronger than their stone.

“Oh god, oh god, he’s Frenzying again!” shouted a terrorist before he was cleaved in half by Goren’s Axe.
“Rez him, rez him!” screamed another.
“I can’t, the soil is frozen! Man I should’ve wore some sandals it’s so cold.” complained a dwarf.
“Stop yer whining, here go tank the blows, I’ll protect ya.” berated Ghalis Stonehammer, the leader of the joint terrorist operation between Shiverpeaks and the Xunlai.
The dwarf ran up, his confidence boosted by a protective spirit, and taunted Goren, “Haha I’m glad that bitch is dead! I would’ve killed her myself!”
Furious, Goren turned his gaze of contempt at him and screamed “ON YOUR KNEES!”
“Oh please have mercy! I’ve lost all my enchantments, I’m naked! I’M NAKED! GHALIS HELP!” screamed the dwarf as he dropped to his knees.
But Ghalis was gone. The dwarf was simply bait, an expendable asset while Ghalis moved to the safety of his archers.
“Archers, attack!” ordered Ghalis.
5 Crippling shots rained down on Goren. But it did not matter. He still charged forward. “Hell hath no fury like a Warrior enraged,” muttered Ghalis.
5 distracting shots hit Goren’s healing signet. But it did not matter. He could not be interrupted. He had mantra of concentration on.
“How in the nine Hells did this Elonian master all 10 professions? This is absolutely ridiculous! Also I am an archer from the Dungeons & Dragons Universe but I thought it would be cool to play Guild Wars,” moaned an archer.
“He’s just one man! KILL HIM! KILL HIM!” screamed Ghalis.
“Screw this, I’m running!” said an archer as he threw his bow down and escaped.
Ghalis did not bother stopping him. You see, Ghalis was not really depending on the safety of his archers, or the knights which Goren were tearing apart with ease. Ghalis smirked, for he had a secret weapon. The deadliest fighter known to any continent. His exploits were whispered from the beautiful temples of Dwayna, to the darkest pits of Abaddon. Goren wasn’t the only Warrior on the battlefield that day. It was said this Warrior had faced bested Grenth himself in an endurance watermelon eating match. It is said he even charmed Dwayna into his bed chambers. But many things are said, and only action will determine the outcome. This weapon could not be controlled. He did whatever he wished. He slayed whoever he wanted. He impregnated as many women as he desired. Not even GameMasters could stop him. And they had tried many times. But Ghalis was in luck today, as this weapon wished to kill Goren.

“Let the coward run. We don’t need him.” smiled Ghalis. “Are you sure he’ll help us? I mean I’ve heard all these stories about him, what happens if he has a change of heart?” asked an anxious archer. Ghalis assured him, “It is in his best interests to aid in our goal. You have my word on that.”

Goren barged through the gate. As he ran towards the survivors of his rampage, he started an Earthquake. “JUMP, JUMP!” screamed a Knight. “I can’t, I can’t! I can’t jump, we’re not in Azeroth!” screamed another Knight. As both were knocked down, Goren caused a shockwave, cycloned his axe, and finished it off with a whirling axe. There was only one Knight left between him and Ghalis.

“Please… have mercy oh Great Goren! I promise never to do evil again!” pleaded the Knight. “What do you want? Ectos? I have some, here!”
Goren crushed the ectos in his hand. “I want you… to die.” The Knight screamed for the last time.
“So it’s just me and you then.” said Goren.
“Not quite…” said Ghalis.
A voice in the shadows laughed. A guttural laugh. A laugh of a deadly beast.
Goren turned around…. “You? Why are you involved in this? You know what they did to me. I have to seek my revenge. If I have to go through you, I will. Nevertheless… I have no quarrel with you. My quarrel is with the Xunlai.”
“I don’t give a shit.” stated the voice in the shadows as the skeletal remains of the cowardly archer were tossed in front of Goren’s feet.
“So be it. It’s been a long time since… since the last time we met,” said Goren as he steeled himself for the oncoming battle. Even driven by his rage, he knew it was a battle he may not survive. He was facing a true Warrior. There was no equal to his spirit. He was the embodiment of battle, a bringer of death. If Goren would win, it was by sheer luck. He prayed silently to Dwayna.
The shadowy figured stepped forward. He was clad in gold battle armor Goren had never seen before. “You changed up… where did you get that?” asked Goren. They started circling each other.
“China Olympics, dawg.”
“I was not aware there was such a thing.”
“Yeah well I been places. There be other worlds than Tyria homie. I got cribs everywhere, I got my peeps runnin the streets like it ain’t no thing. You ever heard of Earth? I run that place dawg. Got hoes in every area code. And I ain’t been in Tyria for a long ass time you feel?”
“I am not an animal.”
“Yeah well dawg, it don’t matter what you be. Welcome to the jungle dawg, you know what it is.”
“I do not.”
“Yeah well you gonna. Homie back in Earth, one of my best friends got caught for arms dealin. Now he doin’ a bid for 10 years. It’s all good though, cuz big shit poppin’ you feel? He living in his ballin’ mansion, I had to pay the bail though. It don’t matter though, cuz I got mad paper stacked, got so much ice on my wrist I could replace Antarctica, in fact, I’m probably gonna, why you think them icecaps meltin? It’s cuz I’m so hot, homie G. Aiyyo you hear bout this Elonian named Lil-“
“WILL YOU KILL HIM ALREADY?” screamed Ghalis. The dwarf’s eyes widened in shock of what he had just done.

Suddenly Goren heard a loud crack, much like a firework. Goren blinked as Ghalis’s head exploded and his dwarven brains decorated the floor.
“Don’t. Ever. Interrupt. Me. Homie.” said the mysterious figure. “Well, damn, guess there ain’t no battle no more. The bad guy be dead. Capped him myself yo.”
Goren sighed in relief. “I definitely did not plan for your presence. I was not sure I was going to win. That is a potent weapon you have there. Is it from Earth?”
“Yeah dawg, this gat right here is straight customized just for me.” The mysterious figure looked at Ghalis, or what remained of him and whispered, “The game is the game.”

He turned towards Goren. “They killed your bitch? Well they gon’ have to pay. And I’m guessin you gon need some of my firepower, feel me?”
Goren replied, “I suppose so. I have not seen you in a long time.”
The newfound ally chuckled. “Dawg, I ain’t been around for a long time. But Tyria gon def feel me. I’m back like crack.”
“Well I am grateful for your aid. But this road will be long and arduous. I plan to slay every single terrorist responsible for the death of my wife. Then I shall go into the Underworld to reclaim Devona’s soul. I am not sure if I shall succeed. We may perish in the process. Are you ready for this?”
“Oh, no doubt dawg. No doubt.”
“I am glad to hear this. By the way… I never got your name.”
“Dawg, my bboys back home call me Rusty.”

TO BE CONTINUED...

MMSDome · Aug 22, 2008, 06:33 PM // 18:33

part 2 RED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GOing rocked!

Snow Bunny · Aug 22, 2008, 06:38 PM // 18:38

that was amazing

guevera verreuil · Aug 22, 2008, 08:51 PM // 20:51

so. this is the first story i read on here. i like it xD
for some reason i have these odd voices playing the parts in the dialogue...i'm sure that's what you meant to evoke though. haha.

good readings.

Daenara · Aug 22, 2008, 11:28 PM // 23:28

Respect dawg.

(lmao, that was great!)

Arkantos · Aug 23, 2008, 04:10 AM // 04:10

RUSTY IS AMAZING

fenix · Aug 23, 2008, 09:23 AM // 09:23

Wow. Rusty should get made mod of Lyssa's Fiction so he can delete every other thread and replace them with this one.

DarkNecrid · Aug 23, 2008, 10:27 AM // 10:27

I wonder how Dwayna was.

Arkantos · Aug 23, 2008, 06:45 PM // 18:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by fenix

Wow. Rusty should get made mod of Lyssa's Fiction so he can delete every other thread and replace them with this one.

I'm sure it would improve traffic by 9999999999999999999%.

Daenara · Aug 24, 2008, 06:10 AM // 06:10

Hrmn.. so where is chapter 3?

sgtclarity · Aug 25, 2008, 01:47 AM // 01:47

holy shit he blew his head up

Sha Noran · Aug 25, 2008, 02:18 AM // 02:18

The look on my face immediately after finsihing a read through the first two parts of this literary gem must have been similar to the stunned/drained stare my girlfriend gets after I've ravaged her for hours.

Sexually.

Please Rusty. Take me again.

Elder III · Aug 25, 2008, 09:15 PM // 21:15

wootzors

that was almost as good as the days of Marquis Mugby the Rogue and The Fetid Cheese in Utopia........ aaaahhhhh the good old days.

FlamingMetroid · Aug 25, 2008, 09:21 PM // 21:21

need new pants