Curse

DeVerseBakker · May 19, 2009, 09:14 AM // 09:14

What a lovely story you made there, can't wait to read the rest of it!

Axwind · May 19, 2009, 03:49 PM // 15:49

Thanks! Gonna try to get the next chapter up soon, it's just been hard to pull myself away from GW long enough to write it.

Axwind · Jun 12, 2009, 12:38 AM // 00:38

Nathel gazed into the flickering embers of the fire, his mind again on the past. On the Searing. And on how he hadn't been there for Gwen when it happened. She sat with him now, her head on his shoulder and her hand still very much in his. The soft touch of her fingers made gathering his thoughts difficult. But somehow, he did. “Gwen... I told you earlier that I was thinking of leaving, of heading back south. But now... now I'm not so sure.”

“Really?” she said, lifting her head up to look at him.

“All my life, for as long as I can remember, I've been on the move, always going from one place to another, one battle to another, with barely a breath in between. I always felt restless if I was in one place for too long. Until... until I came here. I don't know why, but... for the first time, I feel like I've found a place where I can settle down. I feel like I've come home.”

Gwen squeezed his hand. “So what's wrong? Why did you want to leave?”

“Ever since you told me what happened to you after the Searing,” Nathel explained. “I... I've felt responsible somehow. If I had been there, if I hadn't left so soon that day, I could have kept the Charr from capturing you. I could have saved you, Gwen.”

“How? How could you have known? How could any of us have known? We had no idea that everything we knew and loved was about to be destroyed. You had your duty, Nathel, and even as a child, I understood that. I don't blame you for what happened. I never did. And I don't want you to blame yourself, either. I don't want you to leave because you think you hurt me. You didn't. It was the Charr who did that, not you.”

Nathel sighed. “But if I had been with you, they wouldn't have.”

“Enough!” Gwen reached up, took his jaw, and turn him to face her. “It wasn't your fault, Nathel. Stop punishing yourself. Don't you remember what my mother told me? You can't fix the past, and if you try you'll only make things worse for yourself. What matters is today, and the future. Don't lose yourself in what might have been.”

Was she right? Nathel wanted to believe her. But something still nagged at him, a lingering sense of regret that would not leave. He had made so many mistakes over the years, things he wished he'd have done differently. And every victory he had won had been paid for in blood, bought with the lives of too many good friends. It had always been a heavy burden within him, but seeing Gwen again after so many years had only made it worse. Because it had all begun with her.

Had it, though? Had it really?

Nathel gazed into the fire, knowing the answer all too well. “It was never about you, Gwen. Not really.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, letting her hand fall back down.

“It was about Alanna. I was right there, but I wasn't able to save her. I lost my sister that day. But then I met you a few years later, and I... I felt like I had found her again, in you. Like I had been given a second chance. Only... the Searing hit, and...”

Gwen nodded. “You felt like you lost another sister.”

“That's right,” Nathel said. “I felt like I let it happen all over again. During those first few years after the Searing, I nearly went back to how I was after I lost Alanna. All I wanted to do was murder every Charr I could find. So I volunteered for patrols and raids all the time. But no matter how many Charr I killed, it didn't bring her back. Or you. And it didn't make the pain I felt any easier to bear. So I... I just buried it and went on with my life. Until...”

“Until you came here, and we saw each other again. It brought it all back, didn't it?”

Nathel nodded. “It did, yeah. It's my fault she died, Gwen.”

“You were a child, Nathel,” Gwen said. “Hardly older than I was when we first met. You couldn't have done any more for her than you did.”

“I suppose you're right. I just... couldn't let her go.”

Gwen took his hand again. “Maybe it's about time you did. Don't you think?”

Was it? Nathel thought, for the first time, that it might be. What more could he have done for her? He had tried to protect her as best he could, but as Gwen had pointed out, he had only been a boy at the time. He had blamed himself because he had been her big brother, and he had always tried to look out for her and take care of her. But now, through Gwen, it seemed she was the one looking out for him. He couldn't ignore that. Not anymore. It had been long enough.

“Yeah,” he said. “Maybe it is.”

“That song you were playing earlier... it had to do with her, didn't it?”

Nathel thought of that slow, wistful melody and nodded. “She used to sing it back in our village. That's where it comes from.”

“Can I hear it again?” she asked.

He smiled. “Sure.”

Withdrawing his arm from around her, Nathel got up for a moment and rummaged through his pack until he found the flute. He took it out, added a little more wood to the fire, and sat down with his back against the cave wall once more. As he put the flute to his lips and began to play, he felt Gwen draw near to him again, scooting up against him to share her warmth and cloak. Nathel savored her touch and let the music flow out of him, and as it did so it brought back to him so many memories of his youth, of his lost sister and of growing up together in their little village. But for the first time, the pain that had always accompanied those memories was gone.

And then he heard something else. Gwen was singing. There were no words, only her sweet, soft voice rising in perfect harmony with the notes issuing forth from the flute. Nathel's heart raced, but he didn't stop playing. Nor did he want to. He loved listening to her. It felt good, but more than that, it felt right. It was what Alanna would have wanted, Gwen singing her song. And as the music filled his ears with its quiet, gentle melody, Nathel allowed himself at last to let her go.

----------

“Well,” Nathel said. “It's about that time.”

It was about an hour past noon, and he stood with Gwen on the small grassy hill behind the shrine where he had first met her. Ascalon City, and his future in the Vanguard, waited nearby. He had enjoyed his time with Gwen, but those few hours they had spent together had passed all too quickly. Nathel knew he wouldn't be on duty all the time, though, so while he would be busy, he would make sure to stop by and see Gwen every so often.

She sighed. “You gotta go?”

“Yeah. But I'll come back and see you, Gwen. Don't worry about that.”

She smiled. “You promise?”

“I promise. Although I doubt I'll be able to get away for very long. Training and missions and all that. But I'll try to keep in touch.”

“You better!” she said. “I want to hear all about your adventures!”

Nathel nodded. “You will. I'm going to be a hero, remember?”

“Yeah! Just like Devona and Aidan and Prince Rurik! You know, Nathel, I follow lots of grown-ups around all the time, and they're usually pretty nice to me. But I never had as much fun with any of them as I did with you today. It was a little scary here and there, but I knew I'd be alright, because you were with me. Thanks for letting me tag along.”

“You're welcome, Gwen. It wouldn't have been the same without you.”

When he had first walked out of the city gates this morning, Nathel hadn't expected to have anyone with him today. He had been on his own for some time now, ever since Lina had gone off to Serenity Temple a few months ago to study under Priestess Rashenna. Incidentally, another monk of the same name―it was not an uncommon one in these parts―tended the shrine behind which he had met Gwen. Nathel was used to being alone, to spending more time in the woods and fields than inside the walls of his foster father's estate in Rin. Yet now, he couldn't imagine not having had Gwen skipping along beside him today. It just wouldn't have been the same.

She blushed and gave him one of her red iris flowers. “Here, take it with you. Be careful, okay?”

“I will,” he promised, tucking it into his belt.

Wrapping her arms around Whisper's broad neck, Gwen gave the big cat a hug and scratched him between his ears, giggling all the while. “And you, you big lug, you look after him for me.”

Nathel patted the big cat's broad shoulder. “Time to go. Goodbye, Gwen.”

“Bye, Nathel!” she said. “Come back soon!”

After giving him a quick hug, she turned and pulled her flute from her belt. Soon enough, a merry little song filled the air, her fingers moving with practiced ease as she played. Nathel motioned for Whisper to follow him, and together they headed around the shrine and back to the road. As he reached it, Nathel glanced back over his shoulder and saw Gwen skipping around the hill. She paused in her playing and waved at him, and he smiled and waved back. Then he turned away and headed up the road toward the city.

He didn't see her again for eight years.

----------

As the last notes faded away and Gwen's voice grew quiet, Nathel lowered the flute from his lips and looked at her. She had closed her eyes, but now she opened them again, her brown irises finding his almost at once. Nathel's heart hammered against his chest as he became aware again of her nearness, of the warmth of her body next to his as she sat with him. He didn't know which was hotter, the fire in the cave or the fire in his blood.

“You have a beautiful voice,” he said.

Gwen ran a hand through her short hair. “Thank you. I haven't done that in years. Not since I was a child. It was nice, though. Looks like we played that duet after all.”

“We did, didn't we? I wish I could remember the words.”

“That's alright. I like it the way it is.”

Nathel put the flute back in his pack and nodded. “So do I. And... thank you. I think... I think I can finally let her go.”

“You're welcome,” she said. “I'm so glad to hear you say that.”

For the first time, Nathel was able to think of Gwen, to even just look at her, without feeling that old burden of guilt weighing him down. Her capture and imprisonment so long ago by the Charr had been terrible, but it was the past. It was over now. It was time to look to the present, to the future, to no longer dwell on things that could not be changed. It was time to move on. “You were right, Gwen.”

“About your sister?”

“Yes. And about you, too.”

She smiled. “I'm just glad I could help. You've been there for me so many times, I'm happy I could finally do the same for you.”

Over the past few weeks, Nathel had watched as Gwen had finally begun to come out of the brooding shell within which she had bound herself, and she had ceased to dwell on the pain and loss that had left her so bitter and angry for so long. She wasn't the wounded young woman he had met over a month ago when he had first come here. She was healing, a little at a time.

“It's good to see you smile again,” Nathel told her.

Gwen nodded. “It feels good. And it's a little easier now. Being able to see my mother again helped a lot. I'm remembering so many things lately that I thought I never would, things that I thought were buried far too deeply for me to ever find them again. But they weren't. You helped me see that, Nathel. You and my mother. You brought me back. I know that I'm not alone anymore, and because of that, I... I can smile again, and laugh, and... and love...”

Nathel blinked. Was she saying what he thought she was saying? Did she feel about him the way he felt about her? Looking at her, at the gentle slant of her eyes and the damp strands of her short hair, he gazed at her small, pink lips and wondered what it would be like to cover them with his own. He didn't know, but he very much wanted to find out. He leaned toward her. “Sounds like you've renewed some of your old habits.”

“I suppose I have, haven't I?”

“Yeah,” he said, his face drifting closer to hers. “And maybe... maybe you and I... maybe we can form some new ones.”

Gwen's eyes met his. “Like what?”

“Like this.”

His heart pounding, Nathel reached up, drew her near, and kissed her. It was as though an aeromancer's lightning bolt had suddenly shot through his body. His blood burned, a river of lava coursing through his veins, and for a moment, coherent thought escaped him. All he was aware of was Gwen. All he wanted was Gwen. She was all he knew, her soft, sweet lips pressing fervently against his with a passion that stole the breath from his lungs and left him yearning for more.

At last Nathel pulled away, but only a little, and only for a moment. And then he went back to work, sliding both arms around Gwen and holding her close as she shifted so that she was sitting in front of him instead of next to him, her hands sliding through his hair as she kissed him back. How long he sat there with her like that, he didn't know. Nor did he care. But eventually he did pause again, looking at her in the pale orange glow of the fire and stroking her cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she smiled.

Malla13 · Jun 12, 2009, 05:35 PM // 17:35

Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

Axwind · Jul 25, 2009, 01:51 PM // 13:51

Opening her eyes, Gwen blinked and looked around, seeing a bit of early morning sun spilling through into the cave. The fire burned low, little more than embers now, most of the wood gone. Snow blocked up the mouth of the cave nearly to the top, piled up during the night by the storm, which must have finally moved on sometime before dawn and blown itself out.

Had last night... had it really happened? Gwen could hardly believe it. She closed her eyes again for a moment, remembering the feel of his arms holding her close, of his lips touching hers. It was almost like a dream. Only this one was real. By the gods, it was real. Gwen didn't remember falling asleep, only laying her head on his shoulder and sharing quiet words with him for much of the night until her weariness had finally overcome her.

She was lying on the ground, wrapped in the cloak Nathel had given her, with her head pillowed on his thigh. Gwen looked up to see him sitting cross-legged with his back against the cave wall, much as he had done last night. He must have moved her after she had fallen asleep, so she would be more comfortable. It was a sweet thing for him to have done, she had to admit, but still a little foolish, as it had meant giving up the extra warmth of the cloak.

He smiled down at her. “Good morning.”

“Morning, Nathel. How long have you been awake?”

“Since daybreak, more or less,” he said. “I've always been an early riser, ever since I was a boy. Probably from spending so much time outdoors.”

Gwen shifted onto her back. “Probably. So you've been sitting here all this time?”

“Yeah. I didn't want to wake you.”

“Thank you,” she said. “I feel much better now.”

And she did. She felt warm, and not just from lying near the dwindling fire. And she was dry. So were her own clothes, she saw. She would change in a bit. But she wanted to just stay here for a little longer, savoring this time alone with Nathel. Because once they got back to the Eye, with its near constant demands of duty and obligation, of almost daily raids and patrols, they wouldn't have as many chances to spend time alone together like this.

She reached for his hand. “Come here.”

Nathel obliged, sliding his fingers through hers and letting her pull him close. Her heart racing, Gwen pressed her lips against his, her other hand slipping into his long mane of dark hair as he bent down toward her. He slid his hand along her cheek and turned her head slightly, returning her soft, lingering kiss with infinite tenderness. After a moment, though, he pulled away. “We'd better see about getting out of here. I think I can break up that snow a bit, enough for us to get through.”

“Alright. I'll go ahead and get changed while you're doing that.”

He nodded and helped her get to her feet, then after briefly touching his lips to hers, he turned around and headed up to the cave entrance. Gwen could hear him punching and pulling at the piled up snow as she pulled off the clothes he had given her and put her own garments back on. After folding up Nathel's extra tunic and leggings and slipping them back into his pack for him, Gwen joined him and looked at the wall of whiteness that kept them in here. Nathel had made little headway in bringing it down.

“Damn,” he sighed. “It's packed in tighter than I thought.”

“I've never seen it so high before,” Gwen said.

There was only about a foot or so of space between the piled snow and the top of the cave entrance. Much too small even for her to squeeze through. She remembered stirring sometime during the night, nearly wakened by a particularly close blast of thunder from the storm. She had drifted back to sleep almost at once, though, too tired to care that she and Nathel were slowly being walled in. But now it was all she could think about. “How are we going to get out?”

“I don't know,” Nathel said. “I guess―”

Gwen glanced at him. “What? What is it?”

“I hear something, Gwen. Get back. We've got company.”

She did so, straining her ears but hearing nothing aside from the soft sigh of the wind and her own breath as she withdrew from the entrance a few steps. She tossed Nathel his bow and quiver, then cleared her mind, focusing her will and readying a few of her more debilitating spells as she took her wand and focus from her belt. Nathel, she saw, already had an arrow nocked and ready as he peered outside.

“Do you see anything?” Gwen asked.

Nathel shook his head. “No, but something's definitely out there. I can hea―”

Suddenly a darkly furred, familiar face appeared in the gap above the top of the snow. Gwen's jaw dropped. “Whisper!”

“Good boy!” Nathel grinned, dropping his weapons and reaching out toward the big cat. Now Gwen understood why she hadn't heard anything. Whisper lived up to his name, making scarcely a sound wherever he went. Gwen relaxed, stuffed her own weapons back into her belt, and looked at Whisper in helpless wonder. “How did he find us?”

Nathel turned to her. “He probably heard us. Stalkers can hear far better than humans can, and from farther away, too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It's pretty amazing. They can pick up sounds from over a mile away.”

Gwen looked at the big cat, an idea suddenly forming in her mind. “If we send him back to the Eye, maybe he can bring help. Can he do that?”

“I don't see why not,” Nathel said. “He knows the way.”

“Then let's do it.”

Nathel nodded and turned back to Whisper, saying no words but instead gazing intently at him. It was a little strange to Gwen, watching them and wondering what it must be like to touch an animal's mind. Nathel had offered to teach her once, not so long ago, but while she liked the big cat, she had never felt quite the same bond with him that Nathel did. It was something that was his alone, and she thought that it should stay that way.

After a moment, Whisper disappeared, bounding away without a sound as Nathel turned back to Gwen. “Well, that's it. He shouldn't be gone long.”

“Okay,” she said. “As long as we're waiting, we might as well eat something.”

They had a sparse breakfast from what little food Nathel still had in his pack from yesterday. Field rations, mostly. It wasn't much, but at least it calmed her growling stomach. Nevertheless, Gwen would be glad to get back to the Eye and have some real food. After the inevitable chewing-out she would no doubt receive from Captain Langmar, that was. As she finished her meal and helped Nathel gather up their things, Gwen resigned herself to a day of planning and paperwork and figured she'd be lucky to step outside the fortress again before the week was out.

Twenty minutes or so later, Whisper appeared in the gap above the snow, and a man's voice called down to them. It was Aidan. “Nathel! Gwen! Are you in there?”

“We're here, Aidan,” Nathel answered.

“Thank the gods,” Aidan replied. “Langmar's had search parties out all morning looking for you two. I'm not surprised they didn't find you, though. The entire hillside's practically buried in snow.”

Gwen called out to him. “Can you get us out?”

“Leave that to me,” another voice said.

“What do you want us to do, Cynn?” Nathel asked.

Gwen watched as Whisper moved out of the way and a fair-skinned, blond woman took his place. “Just stand back and brace yourselves.”

Even though she hadn't known the fiesty elementalist very long, Gwen knew what that meant. She moved away from the cave entrance until she stood near the back wall of the cave, Nathel's hand in hers. He looked at her for a moment, then back at Cynn.“We're ready.”

A moment later, Gwen's world turned thunderous and white, and the wall of snow suddenly exploded inward as though a dwarven powder keg had gone off. Gwen shielded her face with the back of her hand and ducked away as Nathel threw his arms around her, putting himself between her and the sudden rush of ice and snow.

It was over as quickly as it had begun, and when Gwen looked up, the inside of the cave was a good deal brighter than it had been before. The floor was covered in drifts of chilly whiteness, and so was Nathel. Gwen had escaped the worst of it, but there was still a little snow on her. She brushed herself off and got to her feet, then helped Nathel dust as much of the snow off of him as he could. Gwen couldn't quite suppress a giggle. “Thanks. You look a bit like a snowman, though.”

“I've been covered in worse things,” he shrugged.

“I'll bet. Monster blood and all.”

“You two alright?” Aidan called from behind them.

Gwen nodded. “We're fine.”

She looked up to see him stepping a little ways into the cave along with Cynn, who was busy admiring her handiwork. Behind her, Devona and Mhenlo peered inside while Eve looked on with only marginal interest, and Whisper sat on his haunches nearby, totally unruffled by all the commotion.

“Don't you think that might've been a little much, Cynn?” Devona asked.

The pale blond rolled her eyes. “Hardly. I barely put anything behind that fireball to begin with. Still, it was fun to watch that wall blow up, wasn't it?”

“At least you didn't bring the whole cave down on their heads.”

“Excuse me?” Cynn retorted. “You know me better than that, Devona.”

Mhenlo cut in before the other woman could reply. “I think she means she's glad you didn't let your enthusiasm for your craft get the better of you, Cynn. It's happened before, after all.”

“Hmph! Contrary to popular belief, I do know how to restrain myself. Sometimes.”

She turned and headed back outside without another word. Aidan glanced back at Gwen and Nathel. “If you're ready, we'd best be heading back now. The captain will want to know you're alright.”

As she headed outside with Nathel and followed the others through the snow, Gwen found herself almost unconsciously slipping her hand into his. So much had happened in so short a time, she was still trying to adjust to it all. As she walked, Devona fell into step next to her on her other side, her hammer slung casually over her shoulder. “So, you two were in there the whole night?”

“Yeah,” Gwen answered. “Most of it, anyway.”

The small group paused after a while to rest for a moment as the massive pillar of the Eye came into view between the trees. It looked close, but it would be at least another hour or so before they got there. So many steep slopes and ridges around here made travel long and often difficult, not to mention the perpetual snow blanketing the mountainside. Gwen shivered in the morning breeze and pulled her cloak a little tighter around her shoulders as she caught her breath.

Cynn smirked. “Sounds like it was an interesting night, to say the least.”

“You could say that,” Nathel said.

“So, what happened?” Devona asked. “What were you doing out here so late, anyway?”

Eve's mouth twisted into a sly grin. “I think I know.”

“Um, nothing,” Nathel stammered, stepping hurriedly away from Gwen. “We were just, ah... talking. Got lost when the weather turned bad and... had to find shelter.”

“Nothing?” Gwen turned on him. “You call last night nothing?”

Nathel blinked. “I.. no, that's not what I meant, Gwen. I was only saying―”

“Oh, get over here, already, would you?”

Not caring that the others were watching, Gwen took his face in her hands, pulled him to her, and smashed her lips against his. As she had expected, she felt his body relax and his arms slide around her as he returned her kiss. No reason to hide how they felt about each other, and the whole Vanguard would likely know before sundown anyway. Secrets were notoriously impossible to keep in there.

“Well, it's about time,” Cynn snickered as Gwen at last pulled away. “You two have been making eyes at each other for weeks now.”

“Was it that obvious?” Gwen wondered.

Cynn snorted. “I've seen Norn more subtle than you. Not that I blame you, really. I wasn't much different with Mhenlo at first.”

“You're still not, dearest,” the monk smiled.

“Oh, stuff it, love,” she snapped.

Aidan grinned. “It seems you managed to work things out after all, Nathel.”

Gwen felt Nathel slip his arm around her waist as he answered. “I did. You were right, Aidan. I know where I belong now, where I want to be. And who I want to be with.”

Before she knew what was happening, Gwen was bending over backward as Nathel swept her into a passionate kiss, one hand buried in her hair while the other slid down to the small of her back. Gwen wrapped her arms around him, her heart pounding as her lips meshed with his and her blood flowed like magma beneath her skin, leaving her breathless and dizzy with the heat and suddenness of it all.

When Nathel finally let her go, Gwen straightened and smiled at him. “I guess this means you're going to stick around after all.”

“You're going to have a hard time getting rid of me,” he quipped.

“Who says I plan on trying?”

Nathel took her hand. “Come on, Gwen. Let's go home.”

~fin~

________________________________________

Well, that's it. I hope you all enjoyed it! Sorry the last few chapters took so long to get done, been juggling work and family time and GW and all, so I haven't put as much time into the story consistently as I would have liked. But it's finished now, finally! I do plan to write more stories here, so do stick around and see what's next. I already have a good idea of what that is, now I just have to start writing it, heh heh. Anyway, thanks again, everybody!

XSilverMistX · Aug 06, 2009, 11:23 PM // 23:23

OMG AMAZING I love it! Hope you write more like it. I would LOVE to be able to write like you.