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Old Dec 07, 2010, 11:48 PM // 23:48   #1
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Default Writer looking for criticism: The Arcanos Legacy

Hello everyone. Thanks for taking a look at my thread. I've been doing a bit of writing in my spare time, and I'm trying to improve my skills. So far, criticism has been invaluable in developing my style further, so I was hoping you could give me some pointers on what I've been writing. You might be hit by a wall of text, but I'll try to put it in quotes to put some structure into it. We really need spoiler tags on this forum I also apologize for any grammar/spelling errors in the text. English isn't my native language so I might mess that up a bit sometimes. Anyhow, enjoy reading (I hope)

Prologue

Dark clouds are drifting over the land of Arganoth, casting its mighty rivers, jagged mountain ranges and fierce steppes into shadow. A shady side of the land that remains unexposed, where crooks, thieves and the power-hungry plan their nefarious schemes. The dark side of bureaucracy has interwoven with the so called righteous, the pious, the benevolent. But most importantly, the powerful. An enemy that is invisible to the mind rather than the eye.

This land begs for alleviation by those who have the power to resist. But are they still left? Is their eradication complete? Or has new opposition yet to cultivate?

Chapter 1



Chapter 2



Chapter 3



Chapter 4



Chapter 5


Chapter 6



Chapter 7



Chapter 8


Last edited by Lord Mip; Mar 08, 2011 at 12:57 AM // 00:57..
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Old Dec 08, 2010, 02:43 AM // 02:43   #2
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OK then, here we go.

Firstly, I have to say that I enjoyed reading this a lot. Your style of writing is not something I would usually pick-up but I did enjoy it nonetheless.

I thought that the transition between Gareth's childhood and "Present Day" if you like could have been a little smoother, but its not a massive issue.

Your descriptive writing: The dust on the book cases, character's appearances ect. is fantastic, really kept me fascinated.

I shall give it another read when I have some more time and update this accordingly.

All in all I think you ought to be proud of this and I'm very much looking forward to reading the next part, should you be kind enough to share it.

Last edited by Sartura; Dec 08, 2010 at 03:35 PM // 15:35..
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Old Dec 11, 2010, 07:01 PM // 19:01   #3
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I will of course May take some time though since I have exams coming up and I will be concentrating on those first.
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Old Dec 11, 2010, 07:51 PM // 19:51   #4
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I FIGURED OUT HOW TO USE SPOILER TAGS. :|

It's spoil instead of spoiler. <_< Anyway, updated your first post with what I assume you wanted. I'll change it back to quotes if you want.
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Old Dec 19, 2010, 04:31 PM // 16:31   #5
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Bump.

And yeah Sierraa that's what I was looking for Thanks for adding it
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Old Dec 22, 2010, 09:46 PM // 21:46   #6
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New chapter added. I hope you like it.
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Old Jan 03, 2011, 10:54 PM // 22:54   #7
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Chapter 6 is done.
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Old Jan 04, 2011, 12:21 AM // 00:21   #8
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Hey Mip. I thought I'd give your writing a shot since I'm always interested in what people put up here.

I've only read the first chapter so far, but don't worry you have me hooked I'll finish the rest when its a reasonable hour for someone to be awake

I have to say you give a very mysterious feel about the dream. Almost like a vision how clear things like "ornate wooden bookcases" yet there is a lot you don't see. Why everyone is there, who everyone is and what relevance this has. You do an excellent job of baiting the reader to continue and answer these questions.

Additionally you've already established the friends of Gareth in his Hunting squad which is always nice, to flesh out characters and their personalities. The only thing I will say is I'm confused to how many people are in the Hunting party although that will be remedied by reading further than the first part I imagine.

All-in-all thanks for posting this and I'll get back ASAP tomorrow and finish reading. Keep at it! What I've read really is very good =D
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Old Jan 07, 2011, 01:06 PM // 13:06   #9
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Little bump
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Old Jan 08, 2011, 10:06 PM // 22:06   #10
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Chapter 7 has been added
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Old Jan 10, 2011, 04:49 PM // 16:49   #11
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Prologue added. It's still under construction but it was kinda made as a description of my story on another side, so I figured I'd add it here as well
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Old Feb 01, 2011, 12:30 AM // 00:30   #12
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Bumpidy bump
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Old Feb 15, 2011, 03:18 PM // 15:18   #13
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Bummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmp
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Old Feb 16, 2011, 05:14 AM // 05:14   #14
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Hey Lord Mip I was just curious if you knew about (or are already a member of) deviantart.com that's mentioned in the sticky? I always thought it was just for art, but then I was really pleasantly surprised to find out they have writer groups, too I just wanted to point it out in case you were like me and didn't know it was available. You might get some more feedback if you post there, too I definitely feel like I get much more feedback on non-GW stories over on there (nothing against Nolani, I love you guys!), so I post in both .

Here are some of the lit groups I'm in if you wanted to check them out:
http://unseen-writers.deviantart.com/
http://writers--club.deviantart.com/ <-- this group actually has a folder specifically for getting critiques (2 per week)
http://we-write-fantasy.deviantart.com/

plus there are way more groups out there, but I try to personally limit myself to only 3 groups per category I hope this is helpful
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Old Feb 21, 2011, 08:13 PM // 20:13   #15
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Thanks Xandra. I indeed thought Deviantart was just for pictures. I'll check it out tomorrow
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Old Feb 21, 2011, 11:50 PM // 23:50   #16
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Deviant is for any type of art.
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Old Mar 08, 2011, 12:57 AM // 00:57   #17
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Chapter 8 has been added
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