Alexander the great school project, paper mache armor:


King Hamlet's Ghost armor project:

(sorry for blurry)

here's a non-completed pic No cape/pants yet.



"Tali-zander", since I couldn't leave her out:

Great start and looking forward to reading more I have to agree with Bonjela about the comma and quote thing though since that's a standard grammar thing. It's pretty noticeable, because the rest of the story is well written and follows grammar rules. If you don't like setting it off by commas, you might be better of rewriting your sentence structures a bit to avoid that and completely avoid the issue. For example:
Instead of
"…talking about kid." The man said, walking away.
you could do:
"… talking about kid." The man dismissed him with his words as he walked away.
or
"… talking about kid." Without another word, he walked away.
or
"…talking about kid." He walked away after saying the not-so-subtle attempt to make the boy drop the subject.

although it would definitely be best if you had it as
"… talking about kid," the man said, walking away.
since 'said' directly refers to that quote and putting them in separate sentences really does seem grammatically odd. Even with a question mark or exclamation point, it's still implied to be part of the same sentence such as:
"I don't get it!" she screamed.
in which the 'she' is lower-cased and there is only 1 space before 'she'.

But, if that's what you consider your writing style, then there are a lot of great authors that choose to ignore certain grammar rules and still come out with bestsellers

Update 2:

So, my first official day of costume making didn't go so well! I spent the day walking around the local stores in my area trying to find shoes, gloves, and any other fabric/accessories I could use for my costume and didn't find a thing! D: (For those curious, that was TJ Maxx, Rite Aid - although a found a small pack of beads that I'm not sure I can do anything with, Ross, Famous Footwear, Party City - lots of cool costumes here!, Payless, Target, World Market, and a framing/art story that I can't remember the name of). My area seriously needs a sewing, craft, and bead store

So, back home, I did some shopping at Fabric.com and was overwhelmed at the different fabric choices (and prices). I ended up buying 4 different types of fabric (greatly simplifying what I had originally been planning on doing!): burgundy velvet for the main skirt and bodice, black pleather for the tummy part, plain black for the bodice part, and a red satin for the front and back tail parts. I also did some digging on Amazon.com and found some black satin opera gloves that I'll probably end up getting since I couldn't find any lace ones that I liked and could afford D: I also did some digging in my closet and found some black velvet pants that I need to shorten, an old corset that I'm going to do the sewing for the bodice on, and some plain black shoes that I'm just going to have to go with for her shoes

I'm also kind nervous about how the fabric will fall, because the pictures almost look like she's wearing a small Crinoline to make the skirt flare out a bit. I'm not sure how I'll be able to make that effect!

Update 3:

OMG, just received my fabric.com shipping email that says the fabric will be here in 1 week (Sept 21)! I didn't realize it would take that long since I got totally spoiled from Amazon's 2 day shipping D: I'm kinda nervous now that I might not get finished in time!

I wrote the intro and ending to Razah's story (now to fill in the middle!) I definitely feel like the way I'm writing it is super challenging, because I'm writing in first person from the view of someone who doesn't know the human world. It's a lot harder than I thought it would be, yet it's a lot more fun than I thought it would be

Now that I have the ending all written, I also decided to change the title from Razah: Finding a Purpose to Razah: A Halloween Wish.

Here's my first rough draft of the start to the story (Note, ignore weird indents. I don't know why those are there since they're not there in my Word copy and since this is just a draft, I'm not going to fix it right now since I may end up completely rewriting it based on feedback :P ) :





I was not born.

Even now, I have no words to describe the creation of my existence, except it was a mistake, a rare error regretted by The Mists.

I should have been a demon as my brethren.

Instead, the protomatter of the The Mists touched upon a human template and created a wretched forgery with an unthinkable curse…

…sentience.

The closest word I can think of to describe my existence prior to that fated moment is ‘dream-like.’ I was part of The Mists, whole yet not whole, everywhere and nowhere, a tiny piece yet infinite at the same time.

The closest word to describe my existence at that fated moment is ‘torture.’ I was whole, the weight of the universe crushing me and then threatening to tear me apart. My senses were raw; the overwhelming stimuli caused me to go mad as I howled into emptiness as The Mists held me with noncorporeal arms.

I had no knowledge of time then, and even now, I do not know how long I stayed there howling, trapped in darkness, cursed with my sentience.

I do not know how or when the dark God Abaddon found out about my existence. I only know that his Margonites found and took me with them.

Then, the true torture began…


The accidental curse from The Mists had ravaged my senses had driven me mad as my body suffered under the strain of countless new stimuli.

The purposeful curse from Abaddon was far more sinister and left me silent and motionless as my mind struggled against an onslaught of knowledge. The Dark God wished to imbue my mind with all the knowledge in the universe, and he was succeeding. Information from the start of time and across time was injected into my mind as my body laid still and motionless.

As I absorbed the information, the Margonites fought around me, occasionally trying to damage my motionless body in jest. They joked about the new vessel and how it was in a weak human form. Despite the wealth of knowledge building in my mind, I did not understand it nor what the Margonites spoke of.

As in my first prison, I did not know how much time had passed as I stayed motionless while my mind absorbed the secrets of the universe.

However, I did know the transfer had stopped, and I could move once again. More importantly, I realized my Margonite jailors had left me unguarded.

It was time to escape my second prison.
Yet, my escape meant I had traded one prison for another. Once I had left Abaddon’s domain, I found myself in yet another terrifying and confusing land. My jumbled mind strained to make sense out of what I was seeing and experiencing; yet I could not understand any of the wealth of knowledge I had been damned with.

Creatures I had never seen before and couldn’t identify attempted to kill me.

Others ran from me, despite my questions.

Still, others attacked viciously before fleeing from my confused presence.

I did not understand any of the world I now found myself, despite that I had all the answers somewhere locked in my mind. Fire from above brought pain to my eyes, and only when the darkness descended did my skin stop burning. As I walked aimlessly, avoiding other living creatures, I stopped before a new type of ground that stretched before me. As I tried to walk on the new ground, my foot passed through it. I stood there, one leg on loose ground while my other leg and the rags covering it was swallowed by the new ground. I pulled my leg back and sat back, confused at the ground.

Was I to be forever trapped in a prison I could not understand?

“Oh!”

I looked around at the source of the sound and saw a small creature. I waited, wondering if it would attack or run away. Instead the creature tilted its head and sat next to me.

“Why do you want your leg wet? Is it dirty?” The small creature asked.

I looked at my leg. “Why is my leg wet?” I asked the creature instead.

The creature looked at me and tilted its head. “You don’t know why your leg is wet? Did you fall asleep and your leg fall in the water?”
A slow understanding came over me. Water. I was sitting in front of water. When I pushed into my knowledge base, I tapped into what the word water should mean. Still, I did not understand the deluge of information coming from me and instead turned back to the creature.

“What are you?” I asked, wondering if this being could help me understand my new prison.

“I’m Zinka!” it said as its mouth made a strange motion as odd sounds came from it.

The word did not make sense to me. “What is a Zinka?”

“I’m Zinka!” the creature said, as if its circular logic explained everything. It held its arms around its stomach and made the odd sound again.

“Why do you make that sound?” I asked.

“Because you’re funny!” the Zinka said although my mind could not decipher the humor in the situation. “What’s your name?”

A name? When I realized what the creature was asking for, I thought back to all the words I had been called: Error, Vessel, Abomination, Monster… Although I had been called many things, I had no name. “I don’t have a name.”

The Zinka made another strange sound, different from the first one. “Everyone needs a name.”

“Why?”

“How would people get each other’s attention?” the Zinka pointed out. I blinked at the explanation. It was simple and made sense. “Do you want a name?”

Having a name was one of the first things that made sense to me, and I wanted one. “Yes. Give me a name.”

The Zinka sat and looked to the sky, a closed fist to its cheek. Moments later, the Zinka looked back down and said, “I know! I once had a pet frog named Razah, and he was my best friend! You can be Razah, too!” It grabbed one of my hands with its small ones and made that small odd sound again. “You can be my new best friend.”

“Razah. Best friend,” I repeated. I did not know what a best friend was. “I accept your offer. Will you teach me about this world?”

The Zinka tapped its chin for a moment. “How come you don’t know anything? Did you forget?”

“I’m not from here.”

“Oh, you must be from across the sea. We’re in Elona, did you know that?”

“Elona…” The name triggered a cascade of indecipherable knowledge that I had to brace myself against.

Above us, the sky roared. “Uh oh. Looks like it will rain.” The Zinka stood and grabbed my hand again. It pulled, as if its tiny body could actually move my much bigger one. “Come on. We need to go hide.”

“Why?”

“So we don’t get wet,” it said, hands now balled at its sides.

“Water can fall from the sky?” I asked. “Why?”

“When the sky gets sad, it cries,” it informed me. I looked up at the sky and nodded. The logic was sturdy and also made sense. With the wise Zinka’s help, I could finally understand this world.

The Zinka put its hand out again as I stood. I looked down. The little creature was small, smaller than half my height. I mimicked it and put my hand out, unsure of what to do. Making the odd sound again, the Zinka reached out and put its hand in mine - tiny fingers closing around my own. It looked at me and made that strange mouth motion again. The Zinka pulled again as if it could move me with its little strength.

I do not know why; despite the Zinka holding my hand, this moment was the first time I felt like I was not in a prison.

I followed.


to be continued…