Curse

Mistress Eyahl · Aug 28, 2005, 12:59 AM // 00:59

Seeing as the majority of people who post here have a fantastic grip on the english language, punctuation, satire and the general wording of their posts, I thought we'd seperate the men from the boys... and the women from the men

Limericks! Very hard but very funny (I am not referring to my feeble atempt of course.)

Have it go, lets see what we come up with. Can be about anything but beware, more people know the famous ones that you can guess so no copying!

-----
My Limerick:

I sit 'ere 'n' post at this forum
The readers I try not to bore 'em
But I'm sorry, I fear
We'll all 'ave to 'ear
My bollocks with resoundn' chorum

-----

chris_nin00 · Aug 28, 2005, 01:05 AM // 01:05

I have a girlfriend named nina
She is a great filipina
She came to my house
And took off her blouse
Then she saw another boy and said cya.

Thats a true story.

Ghost3 · Aug 28, 2005, 02:18 AM // 02:18

There once was a man from Nantucket.....

Ok, now that THAT one has already been mentioned }

There is a girl from o' seas
Who posted what 'er she means
She typed in her rants
and chose a strong stance
to show off her MOO panties!

*winks at Mistress*

*cracks knuckles for the limerick battle and cries "Let Slip the Dogs of War!"*

Ultimate_Gaara · Aug 28, 2005, 02:22 AM // 02:22

so.. umm i don't really pay attention in english class but im guessing a Limerick has the patten A,A,B,B,A?

hmm i guess i could give it a jolly old try

I love the game guild wars
I makes my jaw drop down man floors
Life without GW would be lame
Now i can do HoH and gain me some fame
umm, watch as my rank soures? (err i have no clue how to spell that.. but its supost to be like a bird.. in the air.. and it starts with an "S".. ya.. that one)

Ya.. it sucks and there is a 90% chance it has nothing to do with limericks but i never made any promises about poetic gold

Mistress Eyahl · Aug 28, 2005, 02:26 AM // 02:26

Yeah it's AABBA but syllables play a big part.

7-9 for line one
7-9 for line two
4-6 for line three
4-6 for line four
and around 7-9 for line five.

Depends how many you can squeeze in though.

Oh and.. you mean soar?

Ghost3 · Aug 28, 2005, 02:26 AM // 02:26

LOL, that was great!

just for future reference: Limericks are 5 lines. lines 1, 2 and 5 are 7 syllables, lines 3 and 4 are 5 syllables. The lines with the same amount of syllables have to have the last word ryhme

*bows to Mistress* just to pin-down the ground rules

Guillaume De Sonoma · Aug 28, 2005, 02:32 AM // 02:32

I remember one from the movie The Life And Times of David Graile that was pretty funny.

There once was a lezbean(sp?) from cancun
Who took a young man on up to her room
They spent all night
Arguing who had the right
To do what and how much to whom

That was the funniest part of the movie cause everything else was sad and about death. Hope they don't think that to offensive

Mistress Eyahl · Aug 28, 2005, 02:40 AM // 02:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ghost3

LOL, that was great!

just for future reference: Limericks are 5 lines. lines 1, 2 and 5 are 7 syllables, lines 3 and 4 are 5 syllables. The lines with the same amount of syllables have to have the last word ryhme

*bows to Mistress* just to pin-down the ground rules

Er yes thanks, I laid em myself

Arturo02 · Aug 28, 2005, 04:31 AM // 04:31

There once was a man from Uranus
With Klingons so big they were heinous
He yelled down the hall
as he wiped at them all
"I am not sure I can contain this!"

Do I get bonus points for working in an old joke punchline?

d4nowar · Aug 28, 2005, 08:36 AM // 08:36

I go by the name of Dan
I live in a frying pan
But maybe I don't
and tell you I won't
Because I'm really Batman.

Don't tell anyone my secret.

Mistress Eyahl · Aug 28, 2005, 01:10 PM // 13:10

-----
Hear the Avada Kedavra phrase
And you'll see a giant green blaze
Before you can trip
You've got life's pink slip
And that is the end of your days
-----

Yes, I enjoy Harry Potter.. PERSONALLY!

midnyte13 · Aug 28, 2005, 04:27 PM // 16:27

The moonlight upon me, does shine.
Said the man, obviously blind,
by the gal in the shorts,
and all her cohorts,
drop em for us if ya dont mind.

forgotten ranger · Aug 28, 2005, 04:35 PM // 16:35

How the hell do u think of limericks???
i struggle

Ghost3 · Aug 28, 2005, 09:56 PM // 21:56

Above me you see a man,
whose brain can't stick with the plan.
Only by shaking
his mind, then waking
may he remain a thread fan

love this thread

Thanks to Mistress for starting it. *bows*

Mistress Eyahl · Aug 28, 2005, 10:18 PM // 22:18

Thank you all for your approval
For some though it seems to bamboozle
We'll single them out
And though they may pout
We'll agree to their imminent removal

octaviancmb · Aug 28, 2005, 11:09 PM // 23:09

"Braces blues"

You see, there's this Mesmer from Kryta
Whose animal pet tries to bite 'ya
She'll cast Phantom Pain
And then, all to her gain,
Her stalker rips out your orthodontia.

"To the Lady Althea"

Althea and I went to Fort Ranik
And then something she saw caused a panic
When I'd calmed down her rants
She had looked in my pants
And said, "My, but aren't you titanic!?"

Guillaume De Sonoma · Aug 29, 2005, 01:30 AM // 01:30

My real life name is William
Although I am called a bum
I am not French
My feet do not stench
And at the hospital i go numb

Ghost3 · Aug 29, 2005, 11:13 PM // 23:13

Here is a poem for Bill.
He says "Beatles are a thrill!"
He posts quick and fast
but still loves the past,
songs like "The Fool on the Hill"

(wow, had to stretch and research for that one *grin* Who's next?)

Guillaume De Sonoma · Aug 30, 2005, 12:37 AM // 00:37

thanks ghost

daniel_b · Sep 01, 2005, 01:57 PM // 13:57

Hey, I'm new here and can't hope to rival your humour, but what the hell - hopefully I can be accepted in Guru:

Let me first introduce li'l me,
I am, alas, a 'newbie',
"Bah, you lack the wit
To rhyme, you little git"
Oh, fine - do I just make the tea?