Curse

purrfect · Sep 29, 2005, 01:36 PM // 13:36

guys keep thinking of getting into bed eh...

Wolvenbear · Sep 29, 2005, 01:41 PM // 13:41

For the OP
I'm not supposed to tell you this. This is a secret that, if women knew men knew, we'd all be in so much trouble...

Women like men who are interested in them.

Think of your friendships. Why do you enjoy spending time with your friends? Sure, you are interested their thoughts and opinions. But just as importantly they are interested in you. This is a good basis for any relationship be it with family, friends, or romantic interests. Be interested in the other person! Listen to what she says so you can remember her favorite color, food, memory, book, movie, anything. This will help you out the next time you want to talk to her and she'll appreciate that you remembered.

Storm Crow advised "getting to know her FIRST is a good idea, see if youre into the same stuff" and I have to agree with that. Start with a simple hello. Since you are in the same class, discuss the homework. Maybe ask if she would like to study with you. Go from there. Once you say hi, if she says hi back, you know she's interested in you enough to say hi back. Just don't put any pressure on yourself or on her.

Things I'd recommend for the first time you hang out are
-- go someplace public. If you are in private you'll both feel more "date" pressure. For a study date pick somewhere like the library or if at your house have several of your friends over and have her bring a couple friends too.
-- remember to treat her like a good friend. Good friends are comfortable with themselves and each other. No pressure = no chance of feeling foolish. It's okay to say something stupid or to trip over thin air. You and your friends would get a great laugh out of it. You and she should too.
-- NO PRESSURE. That's the most important advice I can give. What's the worst that can possibly happen? She can say she isn't interested in you. The first time you spend time with her treat it as time to just get to know her. If she doesn't like you it's no big deal. You may find you don't like her after all. If you both decide you like each other than great! Go out again and have some fun!

Some of the best dates I've ever had were with some of the best friends I've ever had. Once I get to know a girl and we are comfortable with each other I find it easier to decide if I really want to take the next step or if we're better off as just friends. The only married couples I know that are truely happy are both friends and lovers. Besides, true friends are hard to come by. Enjoy every one you have.

P.S.

Quote:

Originally posted by Naprius
so how come, ive been hanging out with a girl for over 8 years now, i can't get her into bed?

Assuming you're both over 18 and comment like that... sounds like you're just interested in the sex while she's interested in the romance. And she knows it. Think about it.

Thanas · Sep 29, 2005, 01:42 PM // 13:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by purrfect

guys keep thinking of getting into bed eh...

Did you read my post? I resent the fact that people generalise so much. Granted most young men are bubbling with testosterone. However many try not to let it rule them.

Naprius · Sep 29, 2005, 01:45 PM // 13:45

next time i'll put JOKE!!!!!! in my post. coz u obviously took it seriously :s

Naprius · Sep 29, 2005, 01:47 PM // 13:47

Quote:

Assuming you're both over 18 and comment like that... sounds like you're just interested in the sex while she's interested in the romance. And she knows it. Think about it.

hey im romantic too

i like cuddly wuddly on the couch and .. stuff

purrfect · Sep 29, 2005, 01:49 PM // 13:49

hmm self control is the main word for the topic here....

Naprius · Sep 29, 2005, 01:50 PM // 13:50

wise words young padawan

Wolvenbear · Sep 29, 2005, 01:58 PM // 13:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by Naprius

next time i'll put JOKE!!!!!! in my post. coz u obviously took it seriously :s

Sorry Naprius... it's hard for me to read a short post and understand the author's original intent. Listening to the spoken word is often more important than the words themselves for judging context. I completely appologize.
(Next time put /sarcasm or /joke or something so I don't have to put /I'manass)

Side Note:
I just read Shiny's post. Um...a 13-year-old ladies man. Uh-huh. You realize in 10 years you're going to look back and say "Wow, I didn't know anything back then". It happens to all of us. Well, most of us anyway. The only people who don't look back and discover how much more knowledge they have now as compared to ____ years ago are the idiots who never learn anyway.

Old Dood · Sep 29, 2005, 02:13 PM // 14:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolvenbear

Side Note:
I just read Shiny's post. Um...a 13-year-old ladies man. Uh-huh. You realize in 10 years you're going to look back and say "Wow, I didn't know anything back then". It happens to all of us. Well, most of us anyway. The only people who don't look back and discover how much more knowledge they have now as compared to ____ years ago are the idiots who never learn anyway.

So true! When you get older you don't just realize that you do not know all the answers...you find out you don't know the questions either.

Legendary Lubbie · Sep 29, 2005, 02:17 PM // 14:17

women.. all the same...

Thanas · Sep 29, 2005, 04:58 PM // 16:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by Legendary Lubbie

women.. all the same...

Are you trying to provoke me, because you're doing a good job.

BTW to the OP, the fact of the matter is there is no right way. Everyone approaches this sort of thing from a different POV. You can't hope to know exactly what to do. However what happens happens and thats all you can hope for. What is important is how you view the outcome of whatever your final decision is. Its best to take something positive from all of lifes experiences. However I will say one thing.

"Love gives naught but itself and takes nothing but from itself."

Its a quote from the Prophet, a book someone gave me, which strangely enough somes up a lot of my personal philosophies in a succint manner.

Yichi · Sep 29, 2005, 06:02 PM // 18:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by Legendary Lubbie

women.. all the same...

they're evil

J/k women like to be treated nice, pay attention to them, be there for them, hold their hand, listen to them, stuff liek that. occasionally romantic suprises are good too.

(and no even with my screen name im nto a female, this name is named after a famous madame of a brothel in japan)

zehly · Sep 29, 2005, 06:06 PM // 18:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by MistressYichi

they're evil

J/k women like to be treated nice, pay attention to them, be there for them, hold their hand, listen to them, stuff liek that. occasionally romantic suprises are good too.

(and no even with my screen name im nto a female, this name is named after a famous madame of a brothel in japan)

You've got it all wrong :P

Count Feanor · Sep 29, 2005, 06:09 PM // 18:09

[Quote] Its a quote from the Prophet, a book someone gave me, which strangely enough somes up a lot of my personal philosophies in a succint manner.[Quote]

Frank Peretti right?

Polloloco3 · Sep 29, 2005, 08:23 PM // 20:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zaklex

Is that really important and does it matter, everyones opinion counts, and that's all these are, our opinions. So chill out and back off, leave the young lady out of this, and keep your preceived prejudices to yourself.

It was a joke man saying that women that are like us men do not understand them either, which is what she was saying. I did not use any politically incorrect terms, or derogatory terms towards her so maybe you should just chill out, and keep YOUR PERCEIVED prejudices to yourself.

If I offended you Zehly I did not mean to, I was just welcoming you to our frustrations

Divinitys Creature · Sep 29, 2005, 09:14 PM // 21:14

IMHO women you have a relationship with are like a really good friend that you are also attrated to and can have more fun with

chalt2 · Sep 29, 2005, 09:18 PM // 21:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrandonIT

Well, Sino, I hope everything is going well for you right now.

Being Friends: In my opinion and experience, it always works out better if you're friends first, then you can try dating once you both know each other. I've not been turned down yet with this theory. (2 out of 2, one ended gently after a year by girlfriend, next one eventually became my wife)

Being Yourself: You can't be anyone else. And would you want to date someone if you can't be who you are? Every relationship has to be built on trust and it's hard to trust someone if you don't know who they are.

Rejection It's really hard to hear (and experience) but rejection will most likely come. The good news is you will learn from every experience if you choose to. (Some people just choose the wrong lessons to learn...) Take it in stride. Let the hurt pass in time.

"If she likes you, she's just as nervous..." is probably true. If she's not nervous, at least she'll be interested to hear what you might have to say.

Good luck Sino and safe romantic journeys.

This is GREAT advice and if you don't think so just ask his wife, she's a major poster here in the forums!

sino-soviet · Sep 29, 2005, 11:48 PM // 23:48

Well at least now the dance is over with. LOL.

I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life. Fortunately, she thought it was pretty funny as well. My friends really screwed the whole thing up, but it was quite amusing. I was attempting to dance (after practicing with me roommate for hours on end) and it was going ok, I just sort of let her lead. However, my friends decided to pull something on me. They knew I had practiced dancing to techno/trance, so they switched it to rap. I just kindof blanked out, I was that nervous. Nontheless, seeing me nearly faint made her day .

I don't think I'll do that ever again though.

Thanas · Sep 30, 2005, 11:28 AM // 11:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by Count Feanor

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thanas

Its a quote from the Prophet, a book someone gave me, which strangely enough somes up a lot of my personal philosophies in a succint manner.

Frank Peretti right?

Kahlil Gibram I believe.

EWC-Beowulf · Sep 30, 2005, 11:31 AM // 11:31

dude, an rpg forum is NOT the place to ask for female advice.
you'd have more luck asking Joey Butafuco