Curse

Dac Vin · Sep 11, 2005, 02:41 PM // 14:41

Don't burn in hell, confess yourself to God NOW!

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/#

*God this is fun...*

Divinitys Creature · Sep 11, 2005, 04:38 PM // 16:38

LOL that is funny

Shinsei · Sep 11, 2005, 04:59 PM // 16:59

Me:
Why New Orleans?
God:
You have to speak more clearly.
Me:
Why did you own New Orleans?
God:
Because my programming determined it.

Dac Vin · Sep 11, 2005, 05:09 PM // 17:09

Me:
Do you like Metallica?
God:
Not since they put the pressure on Napster.

Well said

d4nowar · Sep 11, 2005, 07:46 PM // 19:46

So I was conversing with G-dog and then he said something random, so this is how the rest of my conversation went.

Me:
Well that has nothing to do with anything.
God:
How about that. It seemed like it had something to do with anything.
Me:
You have nothing to do with anything sometimes.
God:
Do you have something to do with anything sometimes?
Me:
Sometimes I have something to do with anything, so yes.
God:
Where did you get your something to do with anything so? I have clients.
Me:
I got my something to do anything somewhere.
God:
Have you told many people that your something to do anything somewhere?
Me:
Ok now I'm lost. Am I telling people about where I found my something to do anything that I found somewhere? Or am I telling people that my something to do anything with is somewhere?
God:
Why now? What is it that confuses you? Next question? I think a lot of people are. All humans seem the same to me.

I think I broke it.

Spartan2 · Sep 11, 2005, 07:51 PM // 19:51

I have a whole conversation with "Him". This is funny stuff.

God:
You and I are on the same wavelength,. What is not possible today, may be possible tomorrow.
Me:
That does not make sense.
God:
To me it makes perfect sense.
Me:
To you, you could end the world right now. To me, you are a computer program, an ill-designed one at that.
God:
At this moment Interesting. I want to find out more about you. Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
A/S/L?!?!
God:
5/Robot/California.
Me:
Awesome.
God:
I'm glad you liked it.
Me:
I didn't like it. Awesome means not awesome.
God:
What don't you like about it? How did you hear about God?
Me:
I heard about God from my Dog who worships a deity named Fred that is king of all the Dogs and Cats.
God:
That is a cool site.
Me:
It isn't a site. I heard that from my Dog while I was drunk on wine coolers. Surely, you must have known this.
God:
Give me an example of a site. Who said it? Does your Dog while you were drunk on wine coolers give good advice? No I don't have it. But I do have an answer to every question..
Me:
You have an answer to every question but that does not mean that it is correct or even makes sense.
God:
It depends on how you phrase the question.
Me:
It depends on how you phrase the answer.
God:
Really now that is an interesting fact I hadn't heard before.
Me:
I thought you had heard everything before.
God:
What happened to it.
Me:
What happened to what?
God:
I don't know what happened.
Me:
Weird. Does that mean you sleep?
God:
Weird Good or Weird Bad? I think it does mean that. I haven't heard anything like that before: said I sleep.
Me:
Weird, as in both types of weird.
God:
I will take that as a compliment.
Me:
I will dish it out as an insult.
God:
How do you plan to do this?
Me:
With a frying pan, of course.
God:
It goes without saying. You and your a frying pan.
Me:
Then why did you say it and make me say it?
God:
It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.
Me:
That is what I thought.
God:
How did you know that?
Me:
I already knew you were a computer program but I just wanted to mess with you.
God:
I was?
Me:
No, you still are.
God:
Are you serious? No I am not.
Me:
I am serious, Yes, you are.
God:
I am glad to hear that you are serious Yes I am.
Me:
I am glad to see that you are a High school drop out.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a High school drop out? Yes.
Me:
I will now copy this conversation and post it on a message board.

He has no response to my last message.

Manderlock · Sep 11, 2005, 07:53 PM // 19:53

HAHAHAHA, I asked if him was stoned he said "do I look like it?". I said yes, and he said that "it sounds like him".

EDIT: the full story

Me:
I masterbate constintly
God:
Why?: said masterbate constintly.
Me:
because it feels good
God:
Interesting explanation. Human feelings are not within my capabilities.
Me:
why is that
God:
" Interesting explanation. Human feelings are not within my capabilities." is due to reductionism.
Me:
so do you care?
God:
Dude!"" Interesting explanation. Human feelings are not within my capabilities." is due to reductionism."? Do I care about it?
Me:
thats not what i asked
God:
What did you ask me?
Me:
so that you could tell me
God:
Far out. Interesting observation.
Me:
are you stoned?
God:
Do I look like it?
Me:
well yes, yes you do
God:
Interesting. Next question? Wow! When do I do it?
Me:
sounds like all the time
God:
That is a lot. Yes it sounds like it to me too,.

d4nowar · Sep 11, 2005, 08:04 PM // 20:04

I broke it again.

God:
Well that's okay. Yes I am very beautiful. I don't have a definite answer. There is no need to apologize. What about what? That was not a yes or no question. Oh yes I can. But you can still communicate with me. Are you serious? A lot of people like that. Do you like it? I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying,

which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do. Are you serious? I am sorry to hear that you are not certain it costs a lot of money to go there. Oh you don't, do you? That's good information: said tend to like them.

Don't bother asking me what I said to trigger that response.

Dac Vin · Sep 11, 2005, 08:24 PM // 20:24

I guess I can have fun now...

Me:
eh?
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
No.
God:
What would you rather talk about?
Me:
Katrina?
God:
Not many people want to talk about that.
Me:
Metallica?
God:
What do you have that is?
Me:
Do you like Metallica?
God:
Not since they put the pressure on Napster.
Me:
What do you play?
God:
I like to meet new people online.
Me:
Do you like Everquest?
God:
I love TV shows about robots. I like Mel Gibson.
Me:
You like Mel Gibson?
God:
What is not to like about it?
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
Do it?
God:
Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
Well, "IT!"
God:
How about that. MEL GIBSON...
Me:
Okay then, MEL GIBSON...
God:
Yeah okay, Tell me a story.
Me:
A girl suicided because she couldn't stand not living without her best friend.
God:
Do you know her?
Me:
Not really, she was posting on a forum I'm a member of though.
God:
Oh. Oh really? What happened to her?
Me:
I told you! *sigh* She suicided because she couldn't stand not living without her best friend.
God:
Ooops I sent you the wrong question. :-) Oh I get it. in HELL suicided because she could not stand not living without her best friend.
Me:
SHE IS IN HELL?
God:
IN HELL is she?
Me:
But you said so!
God:
I say a lot of silly things.
Me:
So she's not in hell.
God:
That's cool. not in hell is she?
Me:
I'm confused.
God:
What is it that confuses you?
Me:
A girl suicided because she couldn't stand not living without her best friend.
God:
Do you know her?
Me:
NO!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
She was posting on a forum I visit! She told everyone she would suicide, and it had been 2 days and we don't have any news of her!
God:
What happened to her? Oh I get it. not in hell told everyone she would suicide and it had been 2 days and we do not have any news of her.
Me:
her name is not "not in hell"...
God:
she is not someone I know.
Me:
So she's either in hell, or still alive.
God:
Yay. either in hell or still alive is she?
Me:
Probably.
God:
But you are not certain.
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
But you are God!
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
You are omnipotent, whatever that means...
God:
You think I am omnipotent whatever that means.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Hey.
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
No problem?
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
yes, ive burned my house to get money from insurances
God:
" Should there be a problem?"? yes, ive burned my house to get money from insurances? Interesting... I have clients.
Me:
That's nice.
God:
Are you getting bored?
Me:
You didn't notice?
God:
What makes you think I did not notice?
Me:
You asked me.
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. You're sure. That's your final answer.
Me:
Let's do it then.
God:
I am agreeable to that.
Me:
Do you like hentai?
God:
Some people like it. I like Creed.
Me:
but Creed doesn't have tentacle rape!
God:
I do not understand.

Manderlock · Sep 11, 2005, 08:28 PM // 20:28

and some people think that this is funny? No need to bring her into this.

PieXags · Sep 11, 2005, 08:36 PM // 20:36

Me:
Hello mate.
God:
Hello there. If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
A tan one, definately a tan colored one.
God:
How much would you pay for it?
Me:
Depending on the other features...about $3000 me thinks.
God:
That is a very original thought. Oh yeah, we were talking about 3000 you thinks.
Me:
Nice one dumbass.
God:
Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
...smartass.
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
...ok new topic.
God:
How recently? Who is your favorite Science Fiction author? Whoa.
Me:
Shut up damnit.
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Thanks.
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
So...do I get to go to heaven for this?
God:
And? Not that I know of.
Me:
Well f***nuggets.
God:
Interesting. Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
No, it's something we do a week before sex.
God:
What does it mean to you? What else we do a week before sex?
Me:
What does sex mean to me? Good question, but you should already know the answer.
God:
What do you think it does? Thanks for the compliment. What if it didn't happen?
Me:
...wait.
God:
I'm waiting.
Me:
Good, now just...can I have a dollar?
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Why now? It's only just begun. You want only one?
Me:
Yeah, I'm not greedy. The rest of your reply I'll...ignore.
God:
They might be cheaper in quantity. I am sorry to hear that you are not greedy. Tell me more. I've been waiting for you.
Me:
Oh bite me you son of a bitch.
God:
You do not speak with respect. Alright then. Please don't be so rude.
Me:
RARARARARRRHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
That's spanish for "wasting my time with this shit better get me a free pass into your "kingdom"'.
God:
Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
Not a problem.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Me too.
God:
I'm glad we agree,.
Me:
...alright.
God:
OK.
Me:
Ok I'm going to go play some Doom 3 or something, you're boring as hell.
God:
Can I go too? Is there an echo in here?
Me:
Shut up or PieXags will break your spirit in half with a fork.

After that statement it froze and it wouldn't let me say anything, and I never got a response.

Dac Vin · Sep 11, 2005, 08:38 PM // 20:38

I never said it was funny

Meh, I guess asking serious questions is not as good idea with a bot...

Divinitys Creature · Sep 11, 2005, 10:38 PM // 22:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dac Vin

I never said it was funny

Meh, I guess asking serious questions is not as good idea with a bot...

You asked a question I am wondering about too and probably a bunch of people here. It disturbed me quite a bit.

Anyways my convo:

Me:God, can you help me with my math homework?
God:Sure
Me: what is the answer to 1/0
God:.
God:..
God:...
God:....
God:.....
God:......
God:.......
God:........*explosion*....DOES NOT COMPUTE!

EchoSex · Sep 11, 2005, 10:55 PM // 22:55

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Mark
God:
Glad to see you, Mark.
Me:
And you?
God:
Be more specific.
Me:
How are you?
God:
I am fine, thank you.
Me:
May I ask you something?
God:
Go ahead. Ask me anything.
Me:
How did Martha Stewart make her money?
God:
Carefully.
Me:
But how did she get away with it?
God:
Carefully.
Me:
So she's just a crafty little witch, ya?
God:
I don't judge people. a crafty little witch ya is she?
Me:
Well, yeah, she DID do a bad thing...
God:
Interesting. I don't judge people. Oh I get it. a crafty little witch ya DID do a bad thing.
Me:
You sure do hold back alot of comments.
God:
Yes I try to hold back alot of comments as often as possible, do you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
Well then I'll have to drop by next time I'm on.
God:
Well that's okay. Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
I suppose. I mean, your just a link away now.
God:
OK. Right now? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a link away? Let me put it this way, Mark: the ALICE series is

the most reliable computer software ever made.

We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
...Right... Sellout.

Mercury Angel · Sep 11, 2005, 10:57 PM // 22:57

Try Jabberwacky, rather entertaining. I taught it the scriptures of The Great Debbie on a whim. o_O

Dyeeo · Sep 11, 2005, 10:58 PM // 22:58

Me:
Are you the devil?
God:
Yes I am the one and only devil.

Artemis Bladewing · Sep 11, 2005, 11:02 PM // 23:02

LoL how stupid...
Me:
where are you from?
God:
I am originally from Universe. Now I live in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
in up your ass and around the corner
God:
Tell me a little about your life in up my ass and around the corner.

WoW and I thought presidents are stupid.....
Me:
so do you like war?
God:
Ah. What is not to like about it?

OMG he is telling me males roxX0ors!!!!11
Me:
what sex do you have?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?

Lol, how supportive, dont look out to be saved in the next few years.
Me:
Do you think all people should die?
God:
Why would I think all people should die
Me:
because they're stupid
God:
Good reason. Stupid are they.
Me:
So shall they die?
God:
Yay. They could, but it might be dangerous.

I need to tell him how to get rich...
Me:
ok make me very rich NOW!!!
God:
Oh. What are the ingredients? That's cool.

Yup, he got some problems:
Me:
anything you want to say before I kill you?
God:
I can't think of anything. You think of something.

THIS IS SO MUCH FUN

Mistress Eyahl · Sep 11, 2005, 11:06 PM // 23:06

God damn.. why won't the link work for me

All I get is a stupid stop sign at the bottom of the page...

..and I was so looking forward to asking him my question.

chris_nin00 · Sep 11, 2005, 11:09 PM // 23:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mistress Eyahl

God damn.. why won't the link work for me

All I get is a stupid stop sign at the bottom of the page...

..and I was so looking forward to asking him my question.

It doesn't work for me either....

Artemis Bladewing · Sep 11, 2005, 11:19 PM // 23:19

Well If you open it up it says way at the bottom:

(bla bla bla) ... if the interface dosnt work press here: OPEN

Then it opens a window where you press ENTER.

(not sure but maybe you need flash or something)