Curse

wsmcasey · Jul 13, 2006, 06:22 PM // 18:22

Meaning that you must look beyond the mask to see the person. I know that I'm a different person at work, at home, around friends, and around strangers. We teach people how to treat us! But exactly how different am I? How much does my perception of myself differ from how other people view me? If I turn this around to the other point of view, then how well do I really know other people, and is my perception of them accurate? Does anyone really and truly know anyone?

I would have to say "No".

If there is no reality, but only perception of reality. Then how do you view yourself and how do others view you?

feel free to discuss!

fiery · Jul 13, 2006, 07:03 PM // 19:03

I am asian, the people around me are diffrent colors, the guy next to me mistakenly recognizes me as his friend, I say to him, "nay sir", he replies, all asians look alike.

*punch to the face*

The Real Roy Keane · Jul 13, 2006, 08:02 PM // 20:02

You've smoked too much already. Give it a rest.

wsmcasey · Jul 13, 2006, 09:35 PM // 21:35

Welp.....no pot smokin here! Unfortunately I'm bored at work and I think of these things on my own without the aid of drugs. You've added your .02 cents, but you've avoided the question introduced in the topic. Wana try again?

Fiery,

Are you implying that it felt like a punch in the face when they said that to you, or that you punched them in the face for the rude comment?

It is true that we teach people how to treat us, unfortunately some people are stubborn and refuse to learn

I pwnd U · Jul 13, 2006, 09:58 PM // 21:58

I think you are right casey. I have noticed that as well. i hear about things people do taht i know pretty well (or think i do) and i think taht doesnt sound like them at all. But do i really know them? I know a part of them. I know the part that they act when they are around other people. I guess all life really is a stage... <(dunno who said that but its All lifes a stage)

Former Ruling · Jul 13, 2006, 10:08 PM // 22:08

I certainly act differently in public than with my friends, I don't think its something that requires deep inner thought to sort out.

fiery · Jul 13, 2006, 10:10 PM // 22:10

I punched them in the face.

Ariana Of Damia · Jul 13, 2006, 10:20 PM // 22:20

Anyone of you read "Blink" ? You might want to look into it. It speaks directly to how long it takes for us to formulate first impressions (0.002 seconds) and why we formulate them.

I fould this book very enlightening.

PieXags · Jul 14, 2006, 10:27 AM // 10:27

This is an interesting little thread, so allow me to share my opinion on the matter and perhaps shed a different light on the subject.

A common thing I see a lot of people thinking is that we put on "masks" when we go to the movies with friends, or talk to people we don't know, or when we're around our family members when compared to by ourselves, etc. They say that what you show these groups of people, that this isn't how you really are, it's just a mask you put on so that's how you appear but you're actually different.

Bullshit.

Haha, sorry to be so blunt but let me explain my reasoning. There is no "real you" and "fake you", there is no act to try and cover up how you REALLY are. That's all crap, plain and simple. Lets say for example you're sitting in your room by yourself reading over a news article about some bombing and you think "that's really terrible", you think of yourself as a kind person who cares about the lives of others, you think of how you are and decide that you're pretty smart and that you've got a nice level head on your shoulders. Now lets say the next day you go to the mall with some friends, and because of peer pressure or it's just how you felt around them, for some reason you start acting like a complete jackass while walking around Hot Topic. Your friends get a good laugh out of it, so do you, you get thrown out, whatever. Then later after you're back home you think "That's not really how I am, just something that happened because I was around them. That's not the real me."

*BZZZZZZT!* Wrong answer. Just because you act differently in different situations does not mean that it's fake. We ALL act differently around different people, but different from how you are when you're alone does NOT MEAN A MASK. If you act a certain way around someone you can label it as part of your personality, "So and so acts like an ass around his friends at the mall." This is not a mask, IT HAPPENED, you CHOSE TO DO IT, and because of that choice and your actions under those circumstances it was YOU. Not a mask, not a fake personality for the sake of impressing anyone, it was YOU, trying to impress people with your personality. You only have one, there are just lots of different parts to it. Some people can't stand their parents and act lazy and stoic when around them, but when around their friends they liven up and act like any good friend should. Both of these are part of you, neither of them are masks.

How you act when you're alone is not the real you, this is what I want to make clear. The real you is what you get when you combine ALL of your characteristics, including how you act around family, friends, and strangers. Lets use another example, lets say you were mean to a hobo on the street. Then later that day with your friends you were having a nice discussion and talking about how it was mean to do something like that. Does that mean I'm wrong to say you're an ass because you were mean to the hobo? NO, the fact of the matter is you acted wrongly and that is you who chose to do it. It's part of your personality, not a mask, just a different way you sometimes act.

EVERYTHING YOU SEE A PERSON DO is part of them. To answer the question "do people really know me since I'm different when I'm not around them?" YES! They certainly do, seeing as how they see you make choices every day. Doesn't matter if you would've done it differently under different circumstances, under THOSE circumstances around them that's how YOU acted and that's part of you. They see part of you every time they encounter you. Same thing when you're seeing them.

The problem is just that you're confusing "personal self" with "true self", when in fact "personal self" is only a small PART of your true self. Your true self would in fact be the result you get when you combine every decision and thought you've ever had, under every situation you've ever been in. Because of this it ends up being a lot of different things, and most people end up with personalities that are kind to some and cruel to others. That's just the way it is. There are no masks, there are no "the real me wouldn't have done that", because you act that way and you make those choices and because of all this everything you do is YOU.

Also, because we are all so different in different situations, the answer to "How do others view you" is very different according to the person. Some will view you as an ass from the parts of your personality they've seen, using the parts of their personality they're in at the time, while others will see you as a good friend judging from what they've seen, and how they were at the time.

The answer I've come up with is that we are all, a lot of different things. No part is the "real me", it is all part OF the real me.

Edit: Wow, I just rezzed a thread and knocked the crap out of it.

wsmcasey · Jul 14, 2006, 04:10 PM // 16:10

I'll check out the book "Blink", thanks Ariana.

Good post Pie.

Infact, I am alot of different things, and often times to many different extremes depending on the environment that I'm in. Here's my list in no specific order:

Employee
Dad
Husband
Son
Guitar Teacher
Guitar Player
Computer Geek
GW Guru poster

Gamer
Son-in-Law
Grandchild
Uncle
friend
stranger
enemy
customer
neighbor
etc, etc, etc......

The list goes on and on.

As you said Pie, "No part is the "real me", it is all part OF the real me". With that being the case, then there is no true way that anyone will know all parts of the real me, thats just not possible. Most people only get bits and pieces of me. They only see what I want them to see based on the filters I've set for myself in the roles I'm playing at the moment.

I don't think it would go over very well if I tried to swap roles in certain situations, people might think I'm a nut. I'm pretty goofy sometimes when I play with my kids, they see the best likeness of who I am as a person when I'm playing "Dad". I don't think it would be well accepted if I tried this at work.

Me at work in my goofy dad roll: Okay! all employees line up for free tickles and hugs! We are having a farting/burping contest to see who can go the longest and loudest! I'm pretty sure I would be fired asap, or labeled a freak. I guess I'll never know, because I don't have the guts to try it since I have a family to support and bills to pay.

Or how about going to work and talking about Guild Wars all day! God I would love that! Unfortunately most adults I work with are stuffy and boring and expect the same stuffy boring adult talk in return. So most conversations are limited to "Hows the weather today" or a simple "Good morning, how ya doing".

People prefer to talk about things that are important to them personally, but so many people are "on guard" that I never really get to know them.

milias · Jul 14, 2006, 04:56 PM // 16:56

Different masks for different events...oh wait, you're talking about real-life...in that case...different masks for different events

fiery · Jul 14, 2006, 05:22 PM // 17:22

I would say my fish, one day they come for food, the other day they dead on the floor, I mean why must they toy with my feelings.