Curse

Rexion · Apr 10, 2008, 11:47 PM // 23:47

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals
throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get
to join in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the
spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW,
especially thin narrow aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I
think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what
happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off
and turn the volumes to "10".

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen
you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid
embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask
yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this junk,
anyway?"

15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're
taking it for a "test drive."

17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about
five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the
department.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store
as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look
mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll
only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from
the other aisles.

24. Play volleyball using the shelves as the net. Try to get other customers to join in.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around
saying,"...I'm Batman. Come, Robin, to the Batcave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello"
upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask,
"Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired
employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any
Shnerples here?"

31. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale
battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

32. Take bets on the battle described above.

33. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

34. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
"Mission: Impossible."

35. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while
squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him
" I need some tampons!!"

36. Try on bras in the clothing department.

37. Try on bras on top of your clothes and continue walking around the store wearing them.

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: "Marco Polo."

43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet
food aisle, etc.

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

45. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms

46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at
something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker,
assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those
voices again!"

49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

51. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "sexy back"

52. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your
head and walk around the store casually.

53. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the
mannequins.

54. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

55. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

56. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

57. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes.
(Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)

58. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

59. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and
women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

60. Fill your cart entirely with boxes of condoms, and watch the cashier's face when you attempt to buy them.

61. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.

62. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse
through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them

63. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Ex: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.

64. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

65. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie."

66. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not puting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.

67. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

68. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every
perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your name?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your name?(giggle)."

69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it.

70. Walk around the perfume department with a bottle of
super strong perfume and spray people as they walk by. Lean in and sniff them then jump back and wave your hand in front of your nose and saying "Oh god, your over powering the perfume!!"

71. Hit on the elderly.

72. Hit on 5 year olds.

73. In the food aisle, pretend like there's a little bug. slowly move your head to the right, then swing your head to the leftas if your trying to follow it. Slowly lower your head to the ground, then start spinning around in circles stomping like crazy. Then finally yell out "Yes!!! I got it!!! Wow, that was the biggest Cockrouch I've ever seen, i think it was pregnant!!! Hey look, there's another one!!!" Then Repeat.

74. Repeat 73 with a can of bug spray.

75. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a cat.Meow when people walk by, rub up against their legs, etc.

76. Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that your a prissy English Man. Say things like "Cheerio, good man." to people who walk by. And don't forget to have perfect posture.

77. Start grunting like Beavis and Butthead while chasing your friends up and down aisles trying to run over them with those electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they don't know you.

78. Spend all your money riding on those little rides for
toddlers. Fit the character; if your on a horse, then pretend that you're a cowboy, etc.. And If a little kid comes over wanting to use it, start barking at them until
they run away crying.

79. Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behind
customers and "accidentally" hit the people instead of your
friend.

80. Excessively use anything thing that says "Try Me".

81. Start pocketing any and all free samples.

82. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.

82. Walk up to the customer service and when they say
"Hello, how may I help you?" say "Yes, I'll have a Quarter
Pounder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order of french fries and a diet coke." And when they start to talk, say "Oh, to go". Then when they say that they can't give it to you say "Oh, This is because I'm gay isn't it? I'd expect this from Target, but not Walmart. People who are gay are just like everyone else you know. You disgust me" Then walk away mumbling to yourself. If your a guy, try to act as valley- girl-like as you can

83. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people
asking where the rash cream is because your family and all
your friends seem to have a rash too.

84. When your alone, have loud conversations with your
"multiple personalities". Have an English man, a Southern
person, someone from New York, a Grandma, and a 5 year old girl all at the same time. You have to use accents. They should sound like this: "Great idea good fellow, we shall have a jolly good time.(English)" "Look, oall I wanna do, is wok ta Stawbucks and git a cawfee(New York)" Etc.

85. Start "dancing" like mad. Basically, just wail your arms
and legs around like your having some kind of massive
seizure.

86. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the
store.

87. Stick your arm in your jacket and suspiciously start to
leave the store. Get really tense and start to lean over as your walking through the doors As if your suspecting the alarms to go off. Then when it doesn't go off, let out a big sigh. Then quickly look around you to see who's watching and run away as fast as your can.

88. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while singing the circus song.

89. Put jockstraps in the lingerie department

90. Put lingerie in the men's department.

91. Put super sexy lingerie in old men's carts when they turn around.

92. When your alone, start screaming help and yelling that
someone is trying to rape you. Then when everyone runs over, start crying and saying "All I ever wanted was a little
attention" Then run away crying.

93. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while, start saying blink everytime it blinks. Don't look away, just stay mesmerized.

94. Walk up to a lady and calmly say "Help me. The voices in my head are telling me to do naughty things." Then clap your hands over your ears, fly yell head around and start screaming "NO!!! I DON'T WANT TO HURT THE NICE LADY NO NO NO NO!!!!" Then suddenly stop, look her straight in the eyes, and Calmly say "I...will start...a fire..." Then pull out a lighter and start laughing hysterically in an evil way. But don't light it, just hold it closed.

95. Light a match under a spinkler.

96. Walk up to someone and say "Oh, so your back for more. I warned you never to come back here. Wait here while i go get my shot gun". Then walk away.

97. Walk up to a guy and say "Oh my god, is it you? Oh my
god it is!!! I haven't seen you in so long!!!!" Then kiss him.
Then slap and him say "Why didn't you ever call me??" Then walk away. Much more affective if you're a guy.

98. Stand next to a maniquin and pretend that your a
mannequin. Try to hold the same position for as long as
possible. Then finally as someone is walking by, check your
watch and say. "Finally, my shift is done. I really don't get
paid enough to do this"

99. Start singing oldies songs into a megaphone.

100. Act like your about to cry and ask people "Have you seen my mommy?"

101. Steal a Walmart shirt. The possibilities are endless.

BONUS* Attempt all of the above during the same visit.

Mr Fizzle · Apr 11, 2008, 12:11 AM // 00:11

Quarter super glue it the floor hide then lulz when people try to pick it up..

We once played flag football in Wal-Mart that was extremely fun.Everytime someone would take our football we'd run to the sports or toy section and grab another one.

Rexion · Apr 11, 2008, 12:13 AM // 00:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr Fizzle

We once played flag football in Wal-Mart that was extremely fun.Everytime someone would take our football we'd run to the sports or toy section and grab another one.

I think capture the flag would be a lot of fun in walmart too. lol

Splitisoda · Apr 11, 2008, 12:57 AM // 00:57

Try to get something that gives you options, go to cashier. Keep switching decisions, then like 10 minutes later say, oh i dont want it.

RPGmaniac · Apr 11, 2008, 01:13 AM // 01:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rexion

I think capture the flag would be a lot of fun in walmart too. lol

That honestly would be really awesome

Redfeather1975 · Apr 11, 2008, 05:58 AM // 05:58

The one that I liked the most was putting the wet floor signs on the carpeted areas.

RedStar · Apr 11, 2008, 07:10 AM // 07:10

LMAO

My favorites were the tampon and the orange juice xD.

Drakken Breathes Fire · Apr 11, 2008, 12:30 PM // 12:30

Being someone who works in a store like Wal-mart,
I would throw your @$$ right out for each of those reasons.
That Tom Green sh*t isn't funny.

Elder III · Apr 11, 2008, 04:17 PM // 16:17

Almost all of those things would get you kicked out in short order. At least the ones that could potentially damage property or people, which is most of the list. With that said, a former colleague of mine used to take his kids to WalMart while the wife shopped. He and the kids would get folding chairs from the camping section and then set them up in front of the 50" Plasmas in the Elctronics and watch whatever was showing. I guess he did that several times, but once he started bringing popcorn and drinks he was told not to come back again.

Liam016 · Apr 11, 2008, 04:27 PM // 16:27

80. Excessively use anything thing that says "Try Me".

81. Start pocketing any and all free samples.

I do those two all the time

C R A F T · Apr 11, 2008, 05:41 PM // 17:41

Randomly throw tennis balls across a crowded parking lot to see how many car alarms you can set off.

Tyla · Apr 11, 2008, 05:49 PM // 17:49

Before I read properly, does this apply to normal supermarkets?

There are no WalMarts in England...

Richardt · Apr 11, 2008, 06:09 PM // 18:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tyla

There are no WalMarts in England...

*Packs up and moves to England*

I pwnd U · Apr 11, 2008, 06:35 PM // 18:35

Should be 101 Ways to be Kicked Out of WalMart oO

Malice Black · Apr 11, 2008, 06:59 PM // 18:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tyla

Before I read properly, does this apply to normal supermarkets?

There are no WalMarts in England...

#

There is actually. Also Wal-Mart owns the Asda brand.

Tyla · Apr 11, 2008, 07:21 PM // 19:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by Malice Black

#

There is actually. Also Wal-Mart owns the Asda brand.

I don't go to Asda anymore so...

Now you say it I do remember some WalMart thing on it...

Mr Fizzle · Apr 11, 2008, 08:36 PM // 20:36

Most of the workers at Walmart are mostly too lazy to kick you out themselves they'll call the cops giving yo a good 5 minutes or so? Depending on the cops in your town you could run around some more.

Which me and my friends did.

quickmonty · Apr 11, 2008, 09:27 PM // 21:27

My favorite is being in a elevator with someone and saying, "Do the voices in my head bother you?"

Splitisoda · Apr 11, 2008, 09:37 PM // 21:37

1.Bring Universal Remote
2.Go to TV section.
3.???
4.Profit.

sagilltwins · Apr 11, 2008, 10:49 PM // 22:49

Nice list.... too bad theres no walmarts where i live