Curse

Avectius · Sep 16, 2011, 01:35 PM // 13:35

I´m aware that most people in here aren´t therapists, or anything of the sort.

But seeing as this section is the Off-topic part of the forum, i figured id let my feelings out here...

To start this off, things are going bad... Really bad for me.

Since i joined high-school a couple of years back, i have never felt socially comfortable.

There is no one worth talking to there. Everyone is either superficial/ignorant, or simply rude.

I want to discuss life, discuss technology, or simply discuss other things. But i cannot... Society is getting stupider by the minute, and no one in my country likes any of those things... it´s sad. It Really is.. And even though, it´s the world we have, and i know i should just man up and take it... i just can´t.

This school year started yesterday. And i did not go to the presentation class, nor did i go to class today.

I´m extremely shy.. and very uncomfortable. Imagine trying to go to a place, and study in that place.. in a place where you feel uncomfortable every single second.. How can one have a good performance in terms of studies, if the environment in wich he/she is trying to concentrate, is now being compared to hell...

I just don´t know what to do. I know GW GURU isn´t a place for things like this..

But i´m running out of options, not to mention emotional stability.

Has anyone gone through anything like this? Extreme Shyness.. or just a general unpleasant feeling?

Please help

Someone.. id really love to get a few advices.

Thank You.

bonjela · Sep 16, 2011, 05:07 PM // 17:07

First of all, go see a therapist. A professional will be much better equipped to help you with these kind of problems than strangers on the internet. If you aren't sure how to find one or are too shy, try calling a local Befrienders helpline. (You will notice that they specialise in talking folks out of suicide -- but they're there for anyone who feels alone and depressed and in need of a friendly ear to listen to them.)

Secondly: you aren't the only person to feel this way. A lot of people feel alone and depressed during their teen years, especially if they're at the lower end of the social pecking order, as many gamers or geeks tend to be. I promise you that your peers aren't idiots: they just have immature brains. By the time you're at college age, both you and they will be more mature and capable of handling adult social interaction.

For now, try finding yourself a hobby or a club to join. Something that will take you out of the house, that you can look forward to while you're in school, and which will introduce you to like-minded individuals.

You'll get through this. Things will get better.

Avectius · Sep 16, 2011, 05:49 PM // 17:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by bonjela

First of all, go see a therapist. A professional will be much better equipped to help you with these kind of problems than strangers on the internet. If you aren't sure how to find one or are too shy, try calling a local Befrienders helpline. (You will notice that they specialise in talking folks out of suicide -- but they're there for anyone who feels alone and depressed and in need of a friendly ear to listen to them.)

Secondly: you aren't the only person to feel this way. A lot of people feel alone and depressed during their teen years, especially if they're at the lower end of the social pecking order, as many gamers or geeks tend to be. I promise you that your peers aren't idiots: they just have immature brains. By the time you're at college age, both you and they will be more mature and capable of handling adult social interaction.

For now, try finding yourself a hobby or a club to join. Something that will take you out of the house, that you can look forward to while you're in school, and which will introduce you to like-minded individuals.

You'll get through this. Things will get better.

The problem was never anything like peer preasure, or the whole " feeling part of a group thing " Believe me, i don´t follow the regular teen standards

that was never my issue... it´s just.. shyness. Like i said, a huge emotional uncomfortability :/ Life in general also... I´m not your average person ^^ I know that these fools are just kids, and still maturing. What troubles me, is of course that environment of idiocy... i just cannot "live" in such conditions...

Don´t worry though. This isn´t one of those typical teen depressions ^^ i´m quite passed that point. ( Not in age though, i´m 19 ) But my mentality is superior. However... i never expected this to happen :/ You are right. i should see a therapist. And no.. sadly i have never met like-minded individuals :/ Only foreigners, or some americans.

Olle · Sep 16, 2011, 05:52 PM // 17:52

Hard to help, ive gone truh the same stuff really, but now(some 3 years after) i got a bunch of friends+a gf(3 years soon too!)
so listen up

Get into a ^sports club/ hobby(anything really!) Maybe boxing,or some kind of
work-out hobby.

Talk to people.
You will get friends, they WILL like you, you just have to be patient with them, and ignore any RED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GOing troll there is, its better of than try telling them to stop.

If you dont hang with friends much after, say school and so, just study( i know this sounds awfully boring, but it will repay)
But dont be the guy who knows all the answers

.

I cant really put things into this first post, Pm me and we'll talk, i got alot of tips.

take care
Olle

bonjela · Sep 16, 2011, 06:45 PM // 18:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by Avectius

The problem was never anything like peer preasure, or the whole " feeling part of a group thing " Believe me, i don´t follow the regular teen standards

that was never my issue... it´s just.. shyness. Like i said, a huge emotional uncomfortability :/ Life in general also... I´m not your average person ^^ I know that these fools are just kids, and still maturing. What troubles me, is of course that environment of idiocy... i just cannot "live" in such conditions...

Don´t worry though. This isn´t one of those typical teen depressions ^^ i´m quite passed that point. ( Not in age though, i´m 19 ) But my mentality is superior. However... i never expected this to happen :/ You are right. i should see a therapist. And no.. sadly i have never met like-minded individuals :/ Only foreigners, or some americans.

You're not going to like hearing this, but: get over yourself. You may well be smarter and more precocious than your peers, but you look like a dick if you believe that you have a "superior mentality".

I've been in your shoes. I used to try throwing myself down the stairs in the mornings, just so I could spend the day in hospital instead of a classroom full of people I felt were beneath my contempt. So believe me -- I understand how you feel. But now that I'm older, I realise that I was the one with the problem, not the rest of the world; instead of making an effort to reach out to my peers, I had been cowering in my own head, hissing like an angry cat at anyone who came too close because I was too shy.

So get over yourself. The world is a nicer place than you think it is; it just looks dark from where you are right now. I know it's hard, but reach out and start being friendly to people, and the world will suddenly seem much brighter.

Avectius · Sep 16, 2011, 08:10 PM // 20:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by bonjela

You're not going to like hearing this, but: get over yourself. You may well be smarter and more precocious than your peers, but you look like a dick if you believe that you have a "superior mentality".

I've been in your shoes. I used to try throwing myself down the stairs in the mornings, just so I could spend the day in hospital instead of a classroom full of people I felt were beneath my contempt. So believe me -- I understand how you feel. But now that I'm older, I realise that I was the one with the problem, not the rest of the world; instead of making an effort to reach out to my peers, I had been cowering in my own head, hissing like an angry cat at anyone who came too close because I was too shy.

So get over yourself. The world is a nicer place than you think it is; it just looks dark from where you are right now. I know it's hard, but reach out and start being friendly to people, and the world will suddenly seem much brighter.

I stay true to my statement regarding my superior mentality. It´s pure analysis.. i HAVE met quite a few people in my country. And there hasn´t been anyone who thinks like me, or heck. Even considers the small things.

There´s only 2 things on their minds: Trying to belong in a group, by aqcuiring the typical "Stud" Status. And the other, wich is copying whatever everybody else does. I don´t want to meet copies of whatever is out there. I want to meet original people. There was never an issue with knowing how superior i am. No that does not make me a douche. It´s only a technical term.

What i DO agree with you on, is the fact that i stress too much :/ You´re right... the world has beautiful things as well.. sometimes i realize i only think about the bad things... and like you stated. I Have to stop worrying too much. And Yes. i DO have to try and just explore things more... Believe me, i want to go there.. But the issue revolves around this "barrier", this feeling.. that prevents me from doing so :/

But yes. i agree with your post.

bonjela · Sep 16, 2011, 09:04 PM // 21:04

People are much more complex than you give them credit for. I know that on the surface they may appear shallow -- but on the inside, their mental landscapes are just as rich as yours.

And regarding your alleged superiority -- the issue is not whether or not it's true (though it's probably less true than you think -- trust me, there are other kids like you out there), but whether or not you use it as a "keep out" barrier. Lower that barrier and accept people for the way they are, and you might find that they will return the favour.

Please see a therapist about this. He or she will really be able to help you cope with your feelings and get through the school day. Good luck.

Avectius · Sep 16, 2011, 09:35 PM // 21:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by bonjela

People are much more complex than you give them credit for. I know that on the surface they may appear shallow -- but on the inside, their mental landscapes are just as rich as yours.

And regarding your alleged superiority -- the issue is not whether or not it's true (though it's probably less true than you think -- trust me, there are other kids like you out there), but whether or not you use it as a "keep out" barrier. Lower that barrier and accept people for the way they are, and you might find that they will return the favour.

Please see a therapist about this. He or she will really be able to help you cope with your feelings and get through the school day. Good luck.

Thank you for your words Bonjela

bonjela · Sep 16, 2011, 09:36 PM // 21:36

You're welcome. I hope things turn out okay for you.

Prestige · Sep 16, 2011, 11:58 PM // 23:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by Avectius

I stay true to my statement regarding my superior mentality. It´s pure analysis.. i HAVE met quite a few people in my country. And there hasn´t been anyone who thinks like me, or heck. Even considers the small things.

Not to be rude, but with that attitude, your never going to fit in that class.
Everyone will look at you with the ''omg here's the class's douche which thinks that he is smart as hell'' status.

People may seem ignorant at first, but like you said : ''it is a new year''.
They may be smart and you do not know it yet. That's simply judging people without even knowing them, which is pretty mean.

If your shy, than so be it. Everyone is shy at the start of a new year.

Black Metal · Sep 17, 2011, 04:57 AM // 04:57

hi Avectius, I went through a situation quite a bit like yours. I'm 38 now.

You said you started HS a few years ago, would that make you a junior?

My high school experience totally sucked, for pretty much the same reasons yours did. All I could do was gut it out.

No, that's not the good news. The good news is college. When you go to college, you get exposed to a huge, huge diversity of people. There are all sorts of groups and clubs, formal and informal, for all sorts of interests, and everyone is coming into it with ZERO baggage, no reputation, nothing of that sort. People really just want to meet other people with no preconditions, and there is such a diversity of people that you'll find people that share your quirks.

The very first day of college I made several friends that are still close friends today, and many more friends that would remain friends throughout college.

However, when you do start college, you'll be surrounded by people who are just as much qualified to be there as you -- so that would be the time to drop any feelings of superiority.

Now this bit of advice may not be very good -- I'd only think seeing a therapist is something to consider if you really need that crutch just to make it through. If it's just something to do because you don't have anything better to turn to, it could become a later hinderance (or again, crutch). In time, your inner strength and individuality will be an asset, not something to apologize or get therapied away.

obastable · Sep 22, 2011, 04:49 AM // 04:49

A little late on the response here, but I generally only peruse a few forums & also don't post much.

What you're experiencing is called social anxiety. For some people it's a passing thing, for others it's a life long debilitating condition. As someone else already said, talk to your doctor. There are treatments available, and not all of them are medication. The right doctor can teach you coping strategies and help you learn to either work through this or how to live with it and NOT have it ruin your life.

Believe me, it CAN ruin your life. I didn't seek help until I was 18, a week after my first day of college, which went like this: I walked in, 2 minutes later I walked out, and I didn't go back for 3 years.

womBonk · Oct 06, 2011, 11:49 PM // 23:49

Quote:

The problem was never anything like peer preasure, or the whole " feeling part of a group thing " Believe me, i don´t follow the regular teen standards that was never my issue... it´s just.. shyness. Like i said, a huge emotional uncomfortability :/ Life in general also...

Like Obastable said it sounds like Social Anxiety... I know this because I have Social Anxiety. So you're not alone. Back when I was in High School my Social Anxiety pretty much crippled me to a point where on some days I just flat out didn't go to school. Don't do that. Seek out some help, that doesn't mean stuffing meds down your throat or anything. Just talk to someone you know, trust, and are comfortable around about it... Or you could go to a therapist.

And eventually you will make a friend... It may take awhile and it may only be one. But from my experience that one friend ends up being a really awesome one.

Junato · Oct 07, 2011, 12:05 AM // 00:05

I think I have Borderline Personality Disorder, not social in groups and shy. What I tell myself time to time is to oppose that thought. I continually try to get out of my comfort zone so I can feel more like a social person.

What I am trying to say is to not believe those thoughts and they won't dictate your life. Believe in what you want to believe and try to attract actions to move to that direction.

Heck I am still following my advice, it takes time and I have a slow pace

MMO Player · Oct 11, 2011, 05:31 PM // 17:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by Junato

I think I have Borderline Personality Disorder, not social in groups and shy. What I tell myself time to time is to oppose that thought. I continually try to get out of my comfort zone so I can feel more like a social person.

What I am trying to say is to not believe those thoughts and they won't dictate your life. Believe in what you want to believe and try to attract actions to move to that direction.

Heck I am still following my advice, it takes time and I have a slow pace

Crap, I am a Personality Disorder!! I take meds.

My advice to the OP is to try to make some friends but don't try too hard. High School is only 4 years out your whole life so when you do look back it won't mean crap. You won't ever see most of those people ever again especially if you start college right away. I live in a city with a population of 40,000 people and a class of 450. You do the math.

If you feel you need therapy and can't afford it there are free programs.