Curse

Minus Sign · Oct 16, 2012, 06:10 AM // 06:10

This is a confession. My online name was Melody Cross. I was a monk in a top 100 GvG guild that went by We Card (ID). i quit the guild on less than good terms after a series of poor matches dropped us out of the top 50 slots. At the time my team was very upset that i refused to run the infuse builds that we needed someone to play, that i continually insisted they let me into the midline, instead of the backline where I was our "best monk'.

Instead of explaining why, I covered it up. Its nagged at me for over 4 years now. I can't find any of you online, so I post this shame on a public forum for everyone to view. Its taken a long time to realize, but my infirmity is not something to be ashamed of, but it is something I should have explained, and my heat toward you guys owes an apology.

I was diagnosed with diabetes shortly before I left ID. The doctor explained that because of my cases severity and the long time I had lived without treatment, there was some nerve damage. Nothing serious, but enough to slightly impair my reflexes. Specifically, hand-eye coordination.

I refused to run infuse because I couldn't run it anymore. Can't. I'm not fast enough to catch a spike. I knew that but I didn't tell you guys. I was ashamed. Rather than have you kick a broken monk, I tried to find another role, a new place to fit. We all may remember how well that went.

Some pretty nasty things were said on both sides. But I will say that it hurt me to watch We Card drop further and further down the rankings. When I returned to our forum, it was not to lurk, but to offer some advice. I was hoping I could instruct your infuser-don't know his name. After almost 5 years, I cant remember most of yalls. Anyway, my intent was the old those who can do those who can't teach. I knew the tactics and i could see from watching your GvGs where he was messing up.

It was good to see some saying "We need another Mel". But it also hurt to see some of the replies about my...attitude when I left.

I deserved the ridicule. I was angry. Not at you all. At my body for letting me down. But i took it out on some of you. Thats never right.

I'm rambling. I tend to. I just wanted to say I am sorry. I am sorry I let you all down. I am sorry that the guild broke up after I left. I am sorry if it was in any way my fault because of how I left or THAT I left. It has weighed on me.

I won't post your names. I respect your anonymity. But if any of you still play, if you're still in touch with the others. Well...let them know.

Play fair and GG

Mel