Curse

The Last Anthem · Dec 30, 2007, 12:09 AM // 00:09

I'm really horrible at writing stories

lol I got the picture though, gonna take me til due date to write this lol

do you want the story to be the history of the area?or like what?>_<

tidus yumemiru · Dec 30, 2007, 12:51 AM // 00:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Last Anthem

I'm really horrible at writing stories

lol I got the picture though, gonna take me til due date to write this lol

do you want the story to be the history of the area?or like what?>_<

yeah same here i didn't realize there would be so much points dedicated to writing in this comp >.> i will take my time too.

Tender Wolf · Dec 30, 2007, 08:18 PM // 20:18

hehe Ah the fun! Yep, just a story that goes with the picture, about the history or background, like the main focus.

Hope that makes sense.

The Last Anthem · Dec 30, 2007, 09:10 PM // 21:10

lmao got something written and its 99 words

...
...
ok PM'd

~nymph~ · Dec 31, 2007, 12:26 AM // 00:26

This assignment was tough for me >.< but I'm satisfied with my result. Hope you guys like it

Sent through PM. Good Luck all!

Ember010 · Dec 31, 2007, 09:45 PM // 21:45

yeah was tough for me too

alliance buddies can testify to that, I had about 6 cups of coffee before I did it, and I dont even drink coffee! So was very worked up and panicky about it. Scared for the results now

Toutatis · Jan 01, 2008, 07:21 AM // 07:21

One submission polished up and sent in! Tender, check your hotmail

(I hope you enjoy reading)

CasterOfShame27 · Jan 01, 2008, 06:06 PM // 18:06

I really actually liked the writing part, I think writing is fun.

Happy new year everybody, and good luck with results!

Stalker Haras · Jan 01, 2008, 08:14 PM // 20:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ember010

yeah was tough for me too

alliance buddies can testify to that, I had about 6 cups of coffee before I did it, and I dont even drink coffee! So was very worked up and panicky about it. Scared for the results now

Yeah, we where getting ready to give Emma one of those cute white jackets that tie up in the front.

But I think she finally got what she was looking for.

tidus yumemiru · Jan 01, 2008, 11:46 PM // 23:46

mines sent to ur pm box tender (i sent it last night but forgot to post that i did D: )

Tender Wolf · Jan 02, 2008, 05:33 PM // 17:33

Here they are, the submissions for assignment #2 (in no particular order)! Beware, this will be pretty long. lol

Corrupt Rosary
"Elona. Land of the Golden Sun.
A land of wealth and bounty
A shadow now falls upon this land:
And with it,
Brings ignorance and prejudice."

And so begins the tale of a young necromancer, called Rose. Her mother had given birth to her an what appeared to be an ordinary day: the breeze was dancing across the skins of many and the sun was beaming down with a rageful passion. However, this day would be different for there would be an eclipse. The children born under an eclipse were thought to be tainted by the forgotten gods, signs of horrors to come, and harbingers of pain and suffering.

Upon the moment the sun was completely eclipsed and casting its radiant shadow as the corona danced across the sphere with eclitic cycles, a child was born. The child was born broken, the eyes lacking a pupil all together, snow white hair, and thin bony figure. Her mother had thanked the Gods for this child and asked for its protection and garnered the baby with a rosary. The other citizens saw this behaviour as an abomination and quickly deemed her the "Corrupt Rosary" and banished the mother, Sandra, and Rose into the rabid swamps of Zehlon Reach, where only the most tainted of creatures thrive.

Exiled from her homeland, Sandra was running short on consumables and feared the worst for Rose and with that, she refused to eat so the baby could be strong. Be strong? Sandra had heard tales of a community of natives that foraged in the far reached of the swamps; Rose's only chances of survival were upon reaching that village.

Sandra was able to see the village from where her and Rose were walking.
"Thank the Gods," she whispered in a hoarse voice, "The village should be ju-"
As Sandra's words stammered out of her mouth, an arrow had pierced her chest. A corsair raid.

Rose screamed with fury and grabbed her mothers hunting spear and tried her best to ward off the savages. She was screaming in such a wicked manner that the villagers nearby had heard and gathered arms to fend from what they thought, was an attack. They quickly ran and saw the young girl beside a body, presumably her mother's, being beaten by corsair trash but not backing down and managing to get a few hits in aswell. The village guardsmen had helped Rose ward off her foes, that day, she had taken her first life away. And it felt good.

The men had gathered Rose's mother and walked back to the Village. Sandra was breathing in rapid, shallow breaths and had trouble forming words let alone sounds. Elder Belin went to gather his medicines to try to mend this woman he did not know. Sandra, knowing that it as too late, pushed the medicine away and had passed calmy uttering one last sentence:

"Take...take care. Of h-her."

The Elder was kind to the woman and respected her final plea and had taken Rose in as one of his own. Rose had approached him one day and asked for Belin to teach her the ways of Necromancy. In the years to come, when Rose had grown older, she had become an elitist in her profession. Rivaling that of Elder, himself. The Elder had thrown a feast marking the day when Rose would be able to leave on her own. At the festivity, Rose made up her mind and decided that this was her home, she belonged here, she couldn't leave, not yet. Then Rose had gathered everyone's attention and stated she would not be leaving, and that she would remain in the Village to help defend everything she had loved. The sounds of horns startled the villagers and amassed a chaotic frenzy of fear. Corsair boats were on the horizon and the beasts were nearing the village. Rose had saw this and grown volatile with anger. Fear. Rage. Hope.

"Not this time, I'm not letting you take this from me again. LET US BE."
Upon her screaming, the ground had started to vibrate, moderately. To her suprise, an army of horrors and attrocities were birthed at her feet, and seemed to be phased by her. Struck by her. Willing to die for her.

The raid was soon quickly over and the few remaining Corsair fled into the jungles
"Good. Let the skales and plants get them. Lets move out to the boat."
The warband ventured to the boat and Rose asked for the others to remain outside, this was something she needed to do. For her people, who would never be safe unless some actions were taken. Rose had scoured the boat, head to toe, nook and cranny for the captain of that ship. Alas, she found him huddled away in a wine cellar of all things, drinking away to the plunder that he had no idea was mutilated. As the captain turned, he made eye contact with Rose and Rose felt a surge of recognition flush through her body.

"This man. I know him..." she thought as memories of her mother flashed through her head. There. The one who came up to her before she grabbed the spear. He was the one who took the one thing she loved most from her. He was the one who spoiled her innocence and ruined her youth. After all, no child should've seen what she had saw that day. Rose had raised her staff, ready to strike.

"WAIT! Please don't. I-I have a kid!"
"That didn't stop YOU from murdering my mother, scum."
"To tell you; I have no regrets."

The sound of vengeful screams echoed through the cellar as the simple thud of the staff agaisnt wood was reverberating through her head.

"That, was for my mother," she whispered, a tear caressing her cheek. "Leave him to rot, boys! He'll make a fine addition to my collection

As she was headed out, Elder Belin rushed in and questioned her actions,

"Rose! What was that for? You know in our village we don't accept to violence."

"Those damned Corsairs! The need to be taught a lesson; they're just taking advantage of our beliefs, and just keep coming. Oh Elder, little do you know I have ended many raids myself without the village's knowledge. They should know by now I would die for this village. I don't mind taking their lives, more for my collection. I'm not going to let them take this from me again, this, is my home, and I'll do anything to defend it."

Story:
Judge 1: Fantastic. Its tough to write long stories and keep the readers attention but you did an absolutely wonderful job with it. It is very clear through your writing how much your home means to you! Your story was VERY powerful and I just LOVED the eclipse/lack of pupil part to it.
Judge 2: WOW. Just, wow! You've really made a turn around from the last assignment! Awesome talent in writing and I can visualize everything happening. I love how you included the story behind your name and your description and explanation of home was outstanding, and the family concept was wonderful. The only problem I really see is that there seem to be a bunch of little stories mixed in with one big one. I'm not sure what to expect from the photo, but I'm guessing you in Belin's village in Zehlon Reach either partying with your new family, bent over your mother, or fighting off corsairs. Or even raising an undead army. Let's see what the picture says.
Judge 3: Your story was great! It was clear and easy to understand, and the tale of vengeance is always one that touches many people. Especially people who kick butt afterwards! You go girl! You really did a great job with the characters and location of your homeland, the elder, the corsairs, Zhelon...its very clear to read that you were born obviously in Elona. The quote in the beginning from part of the game also was a nice touch.

Picture:
Judge 1: I’m sorry to say that I am a little disappointed by your photo. With how wonderful your story was, I was expecting to have your photo actually portraying a part of your story rather than just a plain emote with only the background matching the story. The photo on its own is nice, but I don't really see the story in it much.
Judge 2: Hmm...very good shot but with all the things I pictured it being, this isn't it. I really can't tell how it ties into your story other than it's in Zehlon Reach. I was expecting to see you fighting corsairs, standing above their dead bodies, or even with your mother. Really isn't much to say here, I just don't really see the connection.
Judge 3: I guess because the end of your story was the last thing I read, I almost expected you to have your foot on the body of a dead corsair, or something involving them. The shot is very pretty, background is what you described in your story, as is your character, but I think she needs more evil vengeance in the shot that you wrote about. It looks like she is talking to the elder, which is a part in the story but there were better ones then that!

Ember Coals
I sharply reach out to grab a branch. Miss, and land flat on my face, dirt covering the front of what was, newly cleaned armour. ''Not again...'' I moan. Hearing the clacking sound behind me, I glance over my shoulder, ''Why do they insist on me trekking out to see them..it hasnt been that long since I last visited..'' Pausing, I thought about it, whilst my trusty red crustacean starts snapping at the vines around my feet. ''A year? Surely not...'', I look down at the crab, his glassy eyes looking back at me, not quite understanding, but offering comfort. An unusual choice for an elementalist, many have sneered at the frail choice for a companion. A few joking, ''Oh I get it, emergency rations!'' But I like the company, especially on long journeys such as this. ''C'mon then, suppose we better arrive before dusk...''
Trudging along the track, stumbling and sinking occassionally in the muck, my pet stays upbeat, myself however...
''FOR GOODNESS SAKE!'' I yell, after once again stepping in something that looks like centaur droppings. Collapsing on a rock, I look on the underside of my shoe, to check the damage. ''I hate this place..I can't believe I used to live here...Okay. Let's go Trevor.''
Later at the Henge of Denravi. ''Ember!'' Kara spots her at the entrance to the settlement. ''Oh dear, you look...beaten..'' Seeing Kara, looking clean and happy in her tattoo's does not help my mood at all.
''NEVER AGAIN. Am I walking up that path again! No family reunion could possibly be worth it.'' Kara giggles, looking at me. ''What's funny?''
''I thought you were an elementalist, pyromancer primarily yes?'' She says, smiling. It dawns on me, fire.
''Oh no.. I could have saved so much time..'' Creating my own scorching path would have been much easier. You idiot girl. It really has been a while.. I'd take the jade sea over this any day.
Ahh but there it is! The cool waters of the Maguuma.
''We did miss you Ems, tantrums and all.'' Kara said, skipping off towards the small settlement that I once lived in.
I'm exhausted, more so than I would be if I had meteor showered my way through, hiking takes it out of you. I walked slowly towards the fountain, it looks so serene and peaceful. I haven't had much peace the past few years..yet, one day a few years ago this place wasn't enough for me. Looking around at it, the vines, the healing water of Maguuma cascading down the rocks, this is all I ever needed. I crave adventure and drama, but I belong here, living on nothing but the land, and being repaired and empowered, by the soothing waters, in body, and in mind.

Story:
Judge 1: Embers personality makes me LOL so much. Your story is very cute and the centaur droppings were a very nice touch. I, personally, would have liked to read a bit more about your past and you definitely needed to tell us who Kara is to you.
Judge 2: I really like the story. Really creative how it's not only about home, but it's a family reunion. Cute idea to have your little crab companion with you too. However, you mention Kara but you don't say who she is, like a sister, cousin, etc.
Judge 3: You did a good job with the story, although I was worried at first that it wasn't quite homey I understood it when you mentioned the family reunion. It was creative, and fun with the part about her being a pyromancer

. Great use of dialog as well, even though i'm not exactly sure who Kara is (although assuming family member). Dialog can always enhance your story, as long as your not too chatty, but with you it was perfect.

Picture:
Judge 1: Your photo is very nice and it matches quite well with your story. I really love the contrast between the background and your choice of armor color. Very good job!
Judge 2: Granted I don't see a house in the background, and I can see that Ember is tired from the journey, but I guess I expected to see a house in the background, but a good shot overall. I did picture the Maguuma Jungle and you did a good job of capturing that, and though I didn't see Kara, I still did expect to see you looking tired from the long trip, which you do. So good shot overall.
Judge 3: The first thing I see, is you being tired after coming through the jungle. It goes well with the story of course, but I was almost expecting to see a monk (guess I figured monk because of the tattoos...) with you in the shot, laughing at you or something. Its a bit plain, but you successfully showed its part in your story.

Render Me Useless
Me and my best friend Pinky the Flamingo go way back in our home. I met Pinky when we were traveling the world in Issnur Isles and he’s never left my side. When we were younger we moved to a small village right outside of Eredon Terrace where my father worked as a jade-smasher up in Eredon. I never spoke with my father much since we settled down here, I spent most of my time looking out across the village or wondering off with Pinky. Although we were almost never home, it’ll always be a favorite place to spend time.

Story:
Judge 1: Although you met the minimum word count, it feels very unfinished to me. The text as a whole does not give me much of an idea as to what I will see when I look at your photo. All in all, it is quite vague.
Judge 2: Very cute story with your pet, but it's a little hard to determine which is your home, since the first place you mention is Issnur Isles, so that makes me think that's your home. I like your description of home and how even though you're not always there, it's still home. But since the story is in fact 100 words even, it seems kind of rushed and a little vague, like the main focus was to get those 100 words.
Judge 3: In this case of shortness, it was quite unclear. Are you from the jade sea, or from Issnur Isles? What is clear is that your flamingo seems to be there with you, and I suppose that a pet can be a bit homely...but I still can't find the 'home' part in your story. It was a bit confusing as well.

Picture:
Judge 1: You and Pinky look fine, but I have to say that the first thing I saw was the red framed window thing that is behind you. I think it would have helped a lot if you and Pinky were centered in the picture. The photo does go with the story well enough, but I just don’t get the overall impression that you spent a lot of time on this assignment. I expected a lot more from you.
Judge 2: Yep, it was in the Jade Sea, however, I didn't know that without reading your story. I can tell it's Cantha, but I can't tell that it's Luxon territory. Cute addition with the flamingo, as it goes with the story about how he never left your side since you met him in Elona. And I can see you looking out across the village as you described. So the shot does go with the photo, but for me I think it could have been a little better. But good job overall.
Judge 3: Cute picture, has a homey looking house in the background, as well as your flamingo which was mentioned in the story. Your monks expression is cute as well! What bugs me though is the sky...its so gloomy! The pic is great, but the sky really makes it seem downcast and almost sad. It contradicts with your monks expression.

Scarlet Renoux
On a warm summer day in the Ascalon Settlement, a child Mesmer was born. Her mother rested her beautiful young body in a wooden crib made by her husband, a refugee. The family of three lived in a brick home near Bergen Hotsprings, a water and food source which is now inhabited by travelers and passers-by. “I will name her Scarlet, like a rose.” Were the first words the baby heard.

Scarlet grew into a beautiful young woman, according to her mother. Her family never took more than they needed from nearby towns, they were very grateful for the smallest gifts. Scarlet received her good looks from her mother, and of course her unbelievable height. She always teased her mother for marrying a short man, but every time, her mother’s excuse was; “Your father’s heart is bigger than himself, Scarlet. Your father’s heart is bigger than himself.”

The location of Scarlet and her family’s home was immensely peaceful, and they never had trouble with creatures of any kind. The Ettins near Bergen Hotsprings and Beetletun were occasionally pesky, but never caused harm to the family or settlement. The smell of fresh salt from the ocean was hypnotizing, and wind blew soft like Dwayna’s breath upon the earth. In Scarlet’s eyes, the home could not have been more perfect.

Northern Kryta was much more secluded and protective than other areas of Tyria. The animals were not always a bother, and children could wander off without turning up missing or receiving punishment for leaving home. Scarlet’s mother pondered the suggestion to move to the Southern Shiverpeaks, but she believed they were too dangerous. She wanted the best for her daughter, and Kryta was a perfect match.

Scarlet was unaware at this time of the fact that her mother suffered from a severe disease carried by animals in North Kryta. Scarlet’s parents didn’t think it was right to tell her. They thought it would break her heart to know the truth. Her mother was dying.

When Scarlet reached the age of nineteen, her mother sought it right that she should hunt with her father, and use the skills the Gods gave her. Scarlet agreed and set out with her father. After many hours of hunting, they returned home with a wealthy share of food for the next few days. While walking inside their small home, Scarlet noticed her mother was nowhere to be seen.

The townspeople frantically searched for Scarlet’s mother, and after six full hours had no luck. While walking to a windmill near her house, Scarlet found her mother’s wedding ring sitting atop a stump. She slipped it on her own finger, walked inside the windmill, and dragged her feet up the stairs of the windmill, trying to tear her feelings away. At the top of the tower, she found her mother’s body lying on the balcony. She carried her mother inside their house, setting her on a bed. She kissed her face, whispered her final goodbyes, and let her mother rest. She was finally where she belonged. She was in Kryta. She was home.

Story:
Judge 1: Very captivating and wonderful imagery! I could picture Kryta and your home very well from your descriptions. The whole piece was of perfect length and was very well written. The only complaint I have is that I felt that the ending was slightly too quick after Scarlet found her mother’s body. You still did a wonderful job, though!
Judge 2: Great story! The first thing I visualize when I read it is a picture of you in the Ascalon settlement. Perhaps with a parent or perhaps not, or maybe with that food. I can even see you in Bergen Hot Springs since you mentioned Scarlet's family goes there for food and resources. And I love the heartwarming story of family that goes here. Very touching story, but I was a little confused at the ending. Who is home in Kryta, Scarlet or her mother? But other than that, great job!
Judge 3: Excellent choice on the Ascalon settlement as your main location! The main idea of your story is well done too, and believable, especially with the parents wanting to hide the mother's illness. Almost like a movie script, but made guild war-sy, which isn't always a bad thing! The end of your story is a bit rough though, and feels a bit rushed, but your last two sentences were great for the final effect of the story.

Picture:
Judge 1: Your photo does work with your story, but I honestly feel that it could have been executed better by having the windmill more in the background than it is. The stones and thatching are quite distracting when you consider that your armor is quite dark as well. I also think an emote would have livened up the shot a lot.
Judge 2: Just as I suspected, I see Scarlet in the Ascalon settlement. And I see that you are looking sad below the windmill, just like the story described. The windmill played a big part in the story it seems, so I like that you took your picture there. I wonder if perhaps you could have left a little more of the windmill in though because I had to look at the uncropped version to see it. Another suggestion would have been going farther away from it, so it would be directly behind you and you could see it better. But other than that, awesome job! I totally see the connection between the story and the picture.
Judge 3: Yes, the picture clearly shows the Ascalon Settlement, and good job with getting the windmill into your story and the picture, even though it took me a bit to figure out that it was the windmill. I think of your pose as Scarlet stepping out of the windmill, ready to begin her new life now that her mother is gone. I think that the thatched roof houses make it look homey, and I know that its just excellent that the windmill was there but perhaps if you got further from it so we could see the windmill's blades as well?

Tender Wolf · Jan 02, 2008, 05:40 PM // 17:40

Gracie Grumple
After returning from the Wintersday festivities, Gracie could not help but smile to once again be back in Bergen Hot Springs. It had been her home for the past eleven years, and she could think of no better place, no place more serene and inviting and peaceful, to live. The Springs were a busy place, even now, as Gracie entered her home, there were small parties stopping to rest on their way to the Temple of the Ages. Others had gathered by the springs, most likely pilgrims come to seek cures from the healing properties of the water here. In the distance Gracie could see the other residents who lived here pottering around amoung the tents and wagons. Kailan the armourer and Sewell the weaponsmith were both busy working in their tents whilst Luka the merchant stood bartering with a monk. Turning away from them, Gracie went and climbed the nearby rockface overlooking the large hot pool. It was only then that some of her friends had noticed her return, and called to her, waving and smiling - glad to know she was safe. Flicking her two braids of blonde hair behind her head she laughed and waved sweetly back at them before jumping off the rock into the pool. Little did she know... she had forgotten to remove her chainmail leggings....

Story:
Judge 1: Your story is very cute and fits right in with Gracie’s personality. Although you are more than twice the minimum explanation length, I do feel that your story could have been just a touch longer so that you could have included more imagery describing the area.
Judge 2: While reading your story I envision Gracie in the hot springs by the bubbling water with lots of people around. Of course, sometimes people can take the spotlight away from you. But we shall see when I see the picture. Good story overall, I can see everything in my mind as I read it.
Judge 3: Your story, just like your application responses were very cute, and I'm already beginning to see a certain style in you, good job! Even though your story was a bit short, it dosen't seem to feel like it needed to be made longer. You had a unique relaxed and then silly story, and good job with that! Forgetting the leggings part was cute too, silly Gracie!

Picture:
Judge 1: Very cute!!! The photo matches wonderfully with what you wrote. The background is quite busy; a closer zoom and/or crop would have really helped keep the focus on you, but I still think you did a good job!
Judge 2: Oh I love this shot! Different from what I pictured, but just as awesome! I was worried I'd see lots of unwanted people and NPC's in the background of this shot, but you proved me wrong! And very funny and cute how you forgot to take off your chainmail leggings in your excitement to see your friends again. I wonder if you just could have cropped it in a tad more from the right so we could see you a little better. But overall, great job!
Judge 3: Your picture perfectly went with your story! Its exactly like I pictured it. I can understand your cropping, because it shows off some of the leaves as well as the spring she's jumping in. I also love that rock thats on the right side, it makes it appear as if you've jumped off that! You managed to do something simple enough to combine that its-doable (simple here not being a bad thing), and I tip my hat off to you for that!

Nymphalis Antiopa
Home? I have no home… no family… no friends…. not anymore…. They were all killed in the Searing. The Charr saw to that.

It has been two years since I last saw my parents. Two years since I last saw home. Why didn’t I say something more to them… a better goodbye than a quick “bye Mom, bye Dad.” I had left without a backward glance, too eager to begin my own adventures. Why didn’t I say something like “I’ll miss you”… or... “I love you….”

As I turned around the last corner, my eyes fell upon the ruin of my once glorious home. My throat tightened at the sight and I felt tears forming in my eyes. I turned away… the sight was too much to bear. Instead I looked around me… at the barren, burned land… the charred trees… the dismal buildings… the sky full of ash…. This used to be home.

Story:
Judge 1: How sad! Your story, although short, describes well enough what I can expect from your photo. I wonder though if your story will show me still a “homey” feeling which was the main requirement for this assignment. With the story being so sullen, I’m interested to see if the ruins of your home can still seem “homey".
Judge 2: Great story! I love how you throw in the original storyline to go with your own, and the ending of how that used to be home was great. Very touching story, I truly enjoyed reading it. I visualize you staring sadly at what was once your home before the Searing, so I imagine the picture will be something like that.

Judge 3: Your story is quite emotional, and I can clearly understand that Ascalon is your home. Would have been nice if it were a bit longer, but your descriptions and emotion fit it well enough. Your story of how one reacts to lost loved ones from the Searing was a good choice indeed.

Picture:
Judge 1: I don’t know if it was intentional, but the lighting behind you makes the home seem homey! Although Nymphalis looks depressed, the warm light casting onto the house behind her does give it a very homey feel overall. Good job, I really didn’t know if the ruins could seem homey!!
Judge 2: Awesome job! Just as I'd pictured it! I see the ruins of Ascalon, a sad and destroyed home in the background, you looking sad about it, everything. Good job with the cropping and lighting, and I like how you used the original Pre-Searing armor (or at least the skin) for this shot. Way to go!
Judge 3: Your ranger actually looks like she's going to cry! Especially looking close at the eyes. it looks just like it. Your body pose almost shows something of anger, but when you look at the face I see sadness, but both combined would be understandable considering what had happened to Nymphalis. The ruined building in the background is also a nice touch, its homey in a sad sense that it once was a beautiful place.

Ao Kanashimi
I was only a child when my parents died in an accident, I was forced to live
by myself, until an ascalonian family took me as one of their own. They
decided to move to Kryta and start a new life.
As traveled to Kryta through the Shiverpeaks , others joined us. The trip to
Kryta was strenuous and hazardous, I hadn't healed from my parent's lost
yet, and we weren't used to the type of weather we encountered in the
Shiverpeaks.
We finally arrived in Kryta and we began the search for a place where we
could settle. We found the perfect place, not to far from Lion Arc, but
still near enough in case we needed supplies.
The settlement soon began to take form , everyone was helping and houses
were appearing here and there. At the beginning, I was very sad, always
crying, always mourning. But, everyone took care of me, and they were always
here. They supported me, and I am very thankful for that.

One day, everyone felt I was old enough to have my own house , I was happily
surprise to find that my house would be built near the windmill, a place
full of memories, because it was my playground when I was younger. I was
very happy, because we could see it, just outside my house.

Although, I lost my parents, I always felt like a part of a family. This is
my home and they are my family. They made me what I am today and I am very
proud of what I am. One day I wish, I will have the chance to build a family
of my own in this house.

Story:
Judge 1: Very touching story! You did a wonderful job turning a story that started out being sad into something that is very sweet. However, I do think that your story is lacking imagery. The mood and place is set well but, aside from the windmill, there isn’t much description of what the area you call home looks like.
Judge 2: Very heartwarming story! Now I do notice some grammar errors but that won't effect my scoring at all. I can still tell the story behind it and I really like it. I like how you defined your home as a place with some people who raised you as their own, and you want to do the same sometime in the future. Overall, great story!
Judge 3: For some reason, your story felt like it lacked emotion. More like it was reporting it to me, instead of telling me a story. There was emotion in it, but perhaps the way it was worded just made it seem a bit flat. The storyline itself though is believable, with the traveling from Ascalon thrrough shiverpeaks to kryta.

Picture:
Judge 1: The photo is very lovely and goes quite well with what you wrote. Ao looks very proud of her home, and the windmill, as mentioned in your story, looks great in the background where it is. Good job!
Judge 2: I really like this picture! I can see the windmill like you mentioned, how it was special to you as a child and how you used to play there. So I do see the connection between the story and home.
Judge 3: Now this is a good windmill picture. Not sure about your pose, but its acceptable and could pass off as 'satisfied', matching with the last part of your story. However I don't think the windmill played that big of a role in your story except for the last bit of it, but it does look 'homey'.

Nobushige Sanada
~It had been a year since the war began; and in that short time after taking on so many forces, the Sanada family had somehow managed to still survive. Nobu and her little sister Kikkio had finally returned home by the water after defending the land from corsair raiders. The day had been hot and the yellow humid sky loomed above. “Nobu, remember when we were girls and used to play together in the water? I’ll race ya in!” shouted Kikkio.

“Oh when will you grow up? We have far more important matters to worry about” replied Nobu as she rolled her eyes at Kikkio.

“Fine! I will go myself then.” Kikkio dropped her armor, mockingly stuck her tounge out at her big sister, and went to swim on her own.

"Nobu stood near the house watching; the golden sun setting in the distance behind her, the beautiful reflection of their beloved house in the water, its humble wooden water tower piercing the hazy yellow sky. Thoughts of happy childhood memories filled Nobu's mind; two little girls trying to out splash the other as their parents peered through the red arched window of their wooden home.
Suddenly, an urge came over Nobu that she couldn’t resist. She ran toward the water, stripping off her armor as she ran, and launched herself from the edge of the water. "Cannonball!" yelled Nobu. Kikkio turned to see her sister launched in the air. “Oh here we go again” shrugged Kikkio; and prepared herself for a complete drenching. It was good to be back home."~

Story:
Judge 1: This place certainly sounds to have some good memories of your childhood! Your kid sister is a nice touch to the read. It is a very cute story and your imagery is wonderful, but you forgot to mention where this home of yours is.
Judge 2: Ooo I like this story! I can picture you and your sister playing in the water, enjoying being back home. I like how you defined home the way you did, with memories and being reunited with your sister. And then going swimming with her just like the old times. Very good story!
Judge 3: I love the originality of your story, talking about how close you are to your sister. I also enjoyed your descriptions of the sky and the water, basically the environment around you, that was very well done. Perhaps you could have squeezed in a little bit more about their past, but I believe your story is ok as it is.

Picture:
Judge 1: Ow, the sun is blinding!! Your photo works great with the story, especially with the emotes you and your “kid sister” are using but a closer zoom on you with Kikkio in the background more would have made you the main focus; I see the sun first, Kikkio next, then third I look at you.
Judge 2: Just as I thought! I see you jumping into the water in your swimsuit/undies with your little sister. Good job with cropping but I have to say that I find the background to be too yellow/bright. It kind of takes away from you. And Kikkio is in front of you, which goes with the story, but I see her a little better than you. Otherwise good job.
Judge 3: Thank goodness. Your shot matches your story well, and your descriptions that I enjoyed do actually match the sky and the water! The monk's pose is also on the ball, since you mentioned that as well. Overall I think the shot looks alright, your dervish may have faced the other way so there could be better light, but in general the shot overall exactly matches what you wrote in the story.

Tender Wolf · Jan 02, 2008, 05:41 PM // 17:41

Deus Toutatis
"Who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows?
Only time..."

It is very difficult for a PvE mesmer to define what "home" is. Shunned by the other professions who don't always understand what we do or how we do it, or mistrusting of those who rely on illusions and trickery, it is not easy to settle down in one place and make a true home for ourselves in the PvE environment. In an effort to understand what "home" is to Deus, I will be tracing his history back to the initial creation of his character (the origins of the character himself, and not just his current form) and examining how he came to be where he is now. Understanding where the path began is the best way to understand where the path may eventually lead and the influences that have driven him towards that special place he now calls home.

Deus has had an even bigger problem than most other people blessed with arcane celerity; despite starting on the path of the mesmeric arts in Tyria, his origins lie elsewhere: the shattered continent of Aranna. Deus had left Aranna behind about a year after the Aegis Wars and the Second Cataclysm that followed hard upon them; his own personal need for vengeance against the forces that robbed him of his original home had been sated, his reputation had become too badly soiled by the events leading up to the Second Cataclysm and the role he had inadvertently played in causing it, and his addiction to mana potions had grown into a serious problem that required drastic action and a complete change of scenery to deal with.

"Here the tragically beautiful
And the beautifully tragic
Drift through this world
In one last quest for magic."

Being a foreigner from outside Tyria's recognised borders has just made finding his own place in the world that much more difficult, although his lilting Aman'lu accent peppered with the delicate and enchanting syllables of the Ed'hel tongue has proven to be an asset when talking his way out of sticky situations and has endeared him to many. Deus had hoped to build a new home for himself in the verdant lowlands of Ascalon and joined the Vanguard to try to do his part for king and country (an action he hoped would make it easier for him to settle into his new environment), although the fates had other plans.

To say that Deus was totally devastated when the Searing ravaged Ascalon is something of an understatement; not only were his hopes of settling down burned to cinders, but most of his sanity went up in smoke as well. Aman'lu had suffered a similar fate during the Aegis Wars - a horrific display of wrathful magics that Deus could potentially have prevented had he returned home a few hours sooner - except this time Deus was on hand to witness the destruction rain down from the sky and consume everything it touched (which sadly, could also have been prevented had Ascalon turned more attention to the Charr movement in the Northlands rather than the Guild War with Kryta and Orr). Furthermore, his tenure with the Vanguard prevented him from leaving to find a new home for himself; it would not be until the exodus (and fall) of Rurik and the safe delivery of the Ascalonian refugees into Kryta over two years later that Deus would have the renewed opportunity to find a place to call home.

"Do they matter?--those dreams from the pit?...
You can drink and forget and be glad,
And people won't say that you're mad;
For they'll know you've fought for your country
And no one will worry a bit."

As the Flameseeker Prophecies unfolded in Deus' footsteps, he found himself in the Maguuma Jungle. Surrounded by unspoiled forests, Deus' fractured mind sensed a spark of familiarity that he hadn't felt for years. How it could be possible so far from Aranna's ley lines he could not fathom, but the overgrown glades of Maguuma were supported by the same primal energies that radiated from the ancient groves of Vai'lutra: the towering forests that had once surrounded Aman'lu before the Second Cataclysm. This was a place that he felt a strong connection with, and if he was to settle down he would like it to be close to a place such as this.

A brief vision of Dwayna at the overlook informed Deus of the Druids who acted as this land's guardians. In a rare display of humility, Deus sought them out in the Sage Lands and petitioned them for permission to live in the jungle. But the elder spirits refused his request, stating that the recent encroachments of the Shining Blade and the White Mantle that pursued them had already caused too much upheaval in the forests they had sworn to Melandru to protect, and that the presence of another - particularly another who had been a major cause of an ultimate event of natural destruction - would not be welcome among the sacred groves of Maguuma. Deus was left with no option but to keep moving.

"And oh, there goes another season
Getting hard to find a decent song to play
But oh, I guess I got my reasons
Everybody thinks I'm doing A.O.K.
They ought to know by now."

Turning south and away from the beaten paths, Deus headed into uncharted territory. The further he went, the more open spaces he found, and it was here, in the subtropical woodlands and prairies of the Tarnished Coast, that he would have his greatest revelation.
One evening while hauling himself up a tree to settle down for the night, Deus noticed a plume of smoke rising in the evening sky to the east. Being dangerously low on supplies and not relishing the thought of having to fight off another pack of raptors while scavenging for breakfast again, he instinctively flew towards it; where there was smoke, there would be fire, and where there was fire, there would be people. Hopefully he could rest and resupply there before hitting the road again.

Early the next morning, Deus collapsed on the outskirts of Tarnished Haven. Exhausted, starving, and closer to death than he had been during the Siege of Greilyn, the walk had taken more out of him than he was able to give. He was found by the Haven's residents a few hours later, brought into the settlement and nursed back to health over the next few weeks. The community of misfits, exiles, outlaws and social outcasts accepted Deus as one of their own, and by the time Deus was strong enough to be on his way again he had decided that he didn't want to leave. He had found some people who didn't care who he was, what he was, where he was from or whatever he had done in his chequered past, and for once in his adult life he felt loved. If any place in the world could be a real home, this was most certainly it.

Though the hillside that supported the Haven could not support any more buildings, Deus knew he wanted to stay in the area. Moving along the coast to a small clearing in Magus Stones, he has built himself a dwelling to call his own, taking architectural inspiration from Ascalonian and Utraean styles of stonework. Though in a more isolated location, the homestead is still within easy reach of the community at Tarnished Haven (and a few years later, also within easy reach of the Asuran metropolis of Rata Sum when the subterranean folk emerged from their caverns and commenced construction operations in the area); Deus enjoys his privacy, and his friends at the Haven respect that. The only people who drop around unexpectedly are the occasional marauding groups of bandits who ultimately end up dropping like flies when confronted by a very irritated mesmer intent on defending his home.

Though despite the occasional interruption, Deus finally has a place to call home. A place to return to after each adventure. A place where he can learn to be at peace with himself and forgive himself for his past mistakes. And a place where he is not judged or ostracised because he is different.

"And from all around him
Fleeting secrets
Telling him of love
And the way it breathes and
Looking up from eyes of
Amaranthine
He can see the sky is blue
Knowing that this home is true
Dreams he never knew
And the sky above is blue."

Story:
Judge 1: I was expecting that you would take a very interesting approach to this assignment and I see that I was correct. Unfortunatly, I think you went a little overboard. I found the appendix to be entirely unnecessary even though I have never played the Dungeon Siege. I have not seen your photo at this point, but I feel right now that your story did not need the screenshot commentary either, as the rest of the story before that point explains everything so wonderfully. The DS references were not overpowering until the commentary and appendix. You have a fantastic ability to write wonders, though!
Judge 2: You amaze me with your great writing talents once again! Very good story, clearly detailed and I can see everything happening in my mind. However, this is a Guild Wars contest so the part of the story about a different game were probably unncessary. I like how you searched for home and that was the main part of the story, and then Deus finally found home. But again, the part about him coming from another game kind of bothers me, as, like I said, this is a Guild Wars contest. And I'm not sure what to picture for the image, as there are so many different parts to the story.
Judge 3: Just as I thought from the last assignment, I knew that you'd be able to nail down the story. I'm amazed that you combined 2 different games into the making of your character, and explained every detail from where he started, how his journey went to where he ended up. Simply amazing. As of course is your screenshot explanation, it too is like a story. Your appendix helped alot though for me, since alot of times I didn't really understand what you were talking about.

Picture:
Judge 1: Your photo fits in very well with your story although I think that having the stone house a little bit further away from you would have made it so that the dark coloured door didn’t take any attention away from you.
Judge 2: Good job here! I can clearly see Deus looking proud in front of his home, proud and happy to have actually found one after all that searching. Good job with the cropping and lighting and I do see the connection. And I also see that he's also mad for being bothered. lol
Judge 3: Well, with all that explanation no detail is left out from the relation of your story to your picture. Its also a good clear shot, the house looks perfect, and I absolutely love the what looks to be a 'god ray' in the background. Your armor choice was a good one, and the pose is understandable. Great job with the assignment!

Ember010 · Jan 02, 2008, 06:03 PM // 18:03

Whoa. Nice job everyone o.o I need work on being able to type dialogues, looking at mine compared to everyone elses its a bit of a mess. And reading Rosary's has given me the urge to play necro. Hehe. Was a fun assignment

CasterOfShame27 · Jan 02, 2008, 08:17 PM // 20:17

Wow, great job everyone! I loved the stories and shots, you all did so extremely well! This will be tough!

Geishe · Jan 02, 2008, 09:16 PM // 21:16

YES! My fav 3 once again rocked the contest! Gooo Rosary, Deus, Render!

Hotel · Jan 02, 2008, 09:18 PM // 21:18

Hahaha, Ember, I loved yours, made me lol. o.o

Thank you Geisheeee <3

The Last Anthem · Jan 02, 2008, 09:47 PM // 21:47

aww I knew I should of wrote more

I had trouble just coming up with that though lol
which reminds me I have an English paper due tomorrow that I haven't even started on! oops..

hehe thanks geishe!!

Toutatis · Jan 02, 2008, 10:02 PM // 22:02

Oh wow! Everyone has done a jawdroppingly fantastic job with this assignment! I would hate to be judging this one. Good luck everyone!

I know I did go overboard a bit, but with a character history going back so long and a subject matter that cuts deep into who the character is (what could be deeper than home?) I felt I either had to really push the boat out and send the outboard motor into overdrive or not even bother to get my toes wet. A big risk, but if I crash and burn because of it I will have no regrets at all

The Grumple · Jan 02, 2008, 11:02 PM // 23:02

hehehe some great pics there! I really can't tell who will be going home this week...

My fav. Picture was probabaly Ao's

My fav. story was probably Ember's and Nobu's ^^