Curse

Terra Xin · Aug 31, 2007, 07:18 AM // 07:18

Well my "pre" order isn't going to arrive until Tuesday, thanks to shipping complications into New Zealand... anyone who pre-ordered gw:en from EBGames is going to have a really dumb weekend. :S Hey! That's me!!

During the Preview Event, I noticed some of the comments from Spectators that were said while fighting different enemies during the Norn Fighting Tournament. Some of them were pretty funny, so I thought it would be worth the effort to take them all down.

I didn't get all of the characters though. I'm missing Kahmu, Xandra, and others that I can't remember. Sorted by Campaign:

The Player

Now that's what being a [[Profession]] is all about!
I came today to see [[Player]].
[[Player]] we love you!
Give it everything you've got [[Player]]!
Can I have your autograph [[Player]]?
I wish I could fight like [[Player]]...
[[Player]] is the greatest [[Profession]] ever!
[[Player]] makes this look so easy!

Alesia

Wait... does she even have a special attack?
Wait, isn't she supposed to be a Monk?
has been smitten with authority!
Heal, heal!
Just you wait [[Player]] When Alesia unveils her special attack, you're going to be sorry!
She's trying to be a fighter? Now that's a wild ambition!
Well, at least she's putting fourth an effort.
Alesia, stop rushing to get hit!

Cynn

A woman's fury is more fearsome and cuts deeper than any blade!
I think Cynn is beautiful... in an intimidating, terrifying sort of way.
She's quite the hellcat, isn't she?
Only ash lies beyond the destiny of facing Cynn!
I heard Cynn torched a spectator just for saying Mhenlo's name... oops!
Amazing! It's as if phoenix arrows were raining from the sky!
Hers are surely the flames of Armageddon itself!
Oh my. Looks like she just unleashed the rage of the dragons!

Devona

I doubt anyone could withstand a second impact from that hammer!
She punctuated that blow with a bang!
Didn't I see her wielding a sword once?
She's showing the ferocity of a true Warrior's rage!
Do you think her hair is pretty? Whoa... hammer swing!
This fight... will be deadly.
Who needs speed when it takes one good hit to win?
I think she's building up to something special!

Eve

She's talking to a skull... Does she do that often?
Eve will rip out your heart. Quite literally!
[[Player]] is about to pay the price!
She's dressed for a funeral.
You are about to have a very bad day, [[Player]]!
Bitter Chill? That's cold!
Eve can be my minion master any day!
The violence is strangely... appealing.

Ghostly Hero

This Specter is quite a spectacle.
A hero in life remains a hero forever!
You don't stand a ghost of a chance [[Player]]!
I've heard of Conjure Phantasm, but this is ridiculous.
I see dead heroes...
Never take the Ghostly Hero for granted.
You can't win, [[Player]]! Your opponent is already passed on. Gone to meet his maker! You know, dead.
You'll need to exercise if you want to win this fight!

Kilroy Stonekin

He went at [[Player]] like a spider monkey!
Win or lose, at least Kilroy's matches are over quickly.
Why does he keep shouting out random attack names?
I can't tell if this guy is a brilliant fighter or just brain damaged!
Now here's a fighter that really has fatal fury!
Now that's what I call hyper fighting!
At least he's eager.
Are those even special attacks, or is he just babbling like a two-mouthed ratfish?

Mhenlo

Marry me, Mhenlo!
Lyssa has blessed us all, to see such beauty!
Mhenlo is truly Heavens Delight
Forget Dwayna... Give me Mhenlo's kiss.
I can make you forget about Cynn.
Mhenlo, heal my aching heart!
What I'm contemplating certainly isn't purity...
I wish Mhenlo would cast Life Bond on me!

Old Mac and Joe

This fight is just a bridge too far for [[Player]] to cross!
This is madness!
Joe is truly a sexy beast!
This match has it all: the good, the bad and the devourer!
Watching these two fight is how I learned to stop worrying and love the devourer.
Hey! That's the guy that was stealing my succulent junipers!
Is there no end in sight? This is truly the longest day!
I think I like devourers better when I see them coming.

Warmaster Tydus

Hey man... nice shot.
I got distracted... what just happened?
Show us what a master of war can do!
Applying poison in the middle of a fight is just dirty. I love it!
With shoulder spikes that big, he means business!
Kite, kite!
Get out of the sun, 'cause it's raining arrows!
Watch out, [[Player]]. Tydus has his eye on you!

---

Headmaster Vhang

Now that was a disciplinary action!
Beat [[Player]] headmaster Vhang style!
I really got a charge out of that attack!
Make 'em respect your authority, Headmaster!
School that [[Profession]]!
Watch out for Mind Shock. That one'll blow your mind!
I thought lightning never struck the same place twice... how much is that, now?
I made a "Fear the Fangs of Vhang!" sign, but the guards took it away.

Kisai

Trap them with your infinite Gust Loop!
I came here to see Kisai's lightning kick!
[[Player]] has no dignity!
Do your best, Kisai!
That attack was shocking!
Kisai, you possess power that [[Player]] only dreams of!
There's nothing to be afraid of [[Player]] is a poor excuse for a [[Profession]]!
You can do it, Kisai! Be brave!

Lo Sha

Less illusion, more violence!
I'll bet [[Player]] will have images of remorse after this fight!
He fights for a woman?
His movements... they're almost hypnotic.
Why does he keep spinning around like that?
Is it really practical to fight in a tunic that opulent?
What a puzzling fighter!
That was a high tension move!

Lukas

This battle requires brains, not brawn... and Lukas is loaded with both! Booyah!
This fight could seal Lukas's legacy as an eternal champion!
That blow was mightily struck!
Wow! Dodged his slash. What a bust!
He's actually left-handed? Such deception!
I heard Lukas created his own school of fighting. He calls it Lukas-fu!
These fighters were truly united by fate!
I wish this fight could go on forever... Hey now! Don't dream it's over!

Talon Silverwing

Go for the eyes! Peck them if you have to!
Huff again, Talon. I think it's breaking [[Player]]'s concentration!
I've heard of rumble fish, but a huffing bird?
Talon is the last blade you'll meet in this tournament!
Uh oh! Now you've ruffled his feathers!
He's puffing out his feathers... now you're in real trouble!
Did you just say something about the Aerie? Bad move. Very Bad.
Show us death from above!

Zho and Pet - Onyx

Zho has an excellent track record!
Headshot!
Such an exotic bird! Do you think it tastes like chicken?
No one lives forever!
Did you get the point? Huh? Point? Get? Hello?
You're in for moa pain now... hah! I kill me.
I've never seen a moa quite so fine.
The feathers are really flying now!

---

Koss

Hey Koss, show us the move that always impresses the girls!
Koss is like a wild beast unchained!
Surely his formidable hairstyle is the source of his strength!
Strike first! Strike hard! No mercy!
That is how Koss rolls!
[[Player]]! You just got KOSSED!
Make your move Koss, you know you want to!
Wow, this escalated quickly.

Melonni

Shouldn't she be a little dizzy by now?
Did someone cast Blurred Vision, or did I just see Dwayna herself?
Come on, Melonni! Even Tahlkora can do better than that!
This match is so ex-scythe-ing! *cough* Hey, is that Palawa Joko over there?
That slash used a half circle back!
Round and round the Dervish goes. Where she stops the blood always flows!
That move left me speechless... right about now.
Okay, THAT looked like it hurt.

Norgu

I heard Norgu was seven feet tall, with arms like tree trunks, and eyes like steel, cold and hard. I'm kind of disappointed.
This is no time for a soliloquy, fight!
I hope he'll sign my copy of Norgu's Nightfall when the fight is over.
The pen is mightier!
I've heard that Norgu is the greatest hero in all of Elona!
Wait... if he's their greatest that doesn't say much for Elona, now does it?
I cant wait for his new plays. i hear they're a prequel trilogy, so surely they must be as good as the first three!
Apparently, sometimes the truth IS stranger than fiction.

Razah

Such a slow, calculated battle! The pressure on [[player]] to not make a mistake.
Have you studied death yet [[player]]? here's your chance!
Oh my gods, what is that freakish thing?
Headbutt! Use the Enadiz move with that spiky head!
Show [[Player]] the path to the mists, Razah!
He's got eyes in the back of his head. Or does he...?
I hear it was really hard to get Razah here for the tournament.
Razah knows all about causing anguish!

Sogolon

This guy fights like a turtle.
I saw Sogolons Heavenly Spear Drive once. It was transcendent!
I want to see Sogolon's Holy Smash!
If this guy fights as well as he preens, this should be an excellent match!
Who does this guy think he is? Some kind of a big deal?
We want to see more primal rage!
Why does he keep winking at the audience?
Less flash, more smash!

The Great Zehtuka

Does this guy even know this is a fighting tournament?
This is certainly one of the more... unique... fights that I've seen.
I don't get it. Why does he keep running away like that?
What the... there's no crying in tournament fighting!
Perhaps his tales of adventure were slightly exaggerated....
The Great Zhetuka is legendary in Elona. Legendary like the Scarab Plague.
I think this guy lacks the killer instinct...
I see... he is playing a pressure game with is traps!

---

Gwen

That attack was mesmerizing!
Gwen's fierce will has ignited a fire within my soul!
I feel like I've been waiting years for this!
Her skills are no illusion!
I'll follow you anywhere, Gwen!
My father always told me, "Beware the pretty ones, they're deadly!"
Even the Charr couldn't stand against such fury!
Don't make her angry. You won't like her when she gets angry.

Magni the Bison

[[Player]] might make it out of this fight... but dead, or alive?
I don't think anyone can stop Magni's savage blows!
I'm so excited, I can't feel my toes!
Magni's not a man, he's a machine!
Magni is the king of fighters!
At long last, the final battle!
The heavens themselves quake at the force of Magni's blows!
I've never seen a clash like this!

Squishy ftw · Aug 31, 2007, 09:42 AM // 09:42

LOL, nice job on posting this, i'll probably be laughing my arse off while reading through all of em

the Puppeteer · Aug 31, 2007, 10:40 AM // 10:40

This is madness!

Etta · Aug 31, 2007, 10:48 AM // 10:48

"This match is so ex-scythe-ing! *cough* Hey, is that Palawa Joko over there?"
LOFL

xBakox · Aug 31, 2007, 11:45 AM // 11:45

"He's actually left-handed? Such deception!"

LMAO. Such deception.

"I cant wait for his new plays. I hear they're a prequel trilogy, so surely they must be as good as the first three!"

I rofld on this one too.

iridescentfyre · Aug 31, 2007, 11:58 AM // 11:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by Terra Xin

Wow, this escalated quickly.

<3 Anet for their Anchorman references.

Burst Cancel · Aug 31, 2007, 12:31 PM // 12:31

So, Anet devs play Guilty Gear?

"Trap them with your infinite Gust Loop!"
"That was a high tension move!"

I'm seriously loving all of the fighting game references; this list is going to keep me laughing all day.

Oh yeah, good work, Terra xD.

Terra Xin · Aug 31, 2007, 08:49 PM // 20:49

lol I hope you enjoy it. I'll try to get the rest of them when I get the game next week

Hyper Cutter · Aug 31, 2007, 09:48 PM // 21:48

Gotta love all those references to fighting games...

TempusReborn · Sep 01, 2007, 02:23 AM // 02:23

Excellent work - I'm still chuckling from the last Boss being M.Bison (Street Fighter 2)

Brewmaster · Sep 01, 2007, 03:05 AM // 03:05

Another thing I noticed was that is you stand near a certain spectator, and it changes everytime, they will heal you while you are fighting. Just thought I'd throw that out.