Curse

shardfenix · Apr 21, 2006, 09:49 AM // 09:49

I posted this on my guild site shortly after my guild almost lost to iway because of simple mistakes. It it a satyrical piece, but it gets the message through.

1: If you are fighting IWAY or another damage-heavy group, you...
A. Run into the middle of their group and die in seconds
B. Don't run into the middle of their group
C. Spam your elite HaXxoR language and get pwned. "IwaY iS foR FAgz, LoLz."
Common sense guys. Don't stray from the group.

2: Nature's Renewal/QZ is up and hurting my energy. I...
A. Run through their group and try to solo it, but get owned instead.
B. Tell the group it's there and hurting me.
C. Refuse to boon-prot ever again.
Again, stay with the group. If something is hurting you, tell the rest of the gorup. You can't solo a spirit, they have 200 health average.

3: The group leader tells the group to move somewhere. I...
A. Go there
B. Don't go there
C. TS/vent-yell that no leader moves me. LEEEEEROY...Jenkins!
This sounds like a no brainer, but there have been times where I have to tell some of you 6-7 times to move. I should only have to tell you once. "go back" means "go back," even in new zealand.

4: The other team has a lot of aoe damage (vim/flareway/earthquake). My position in the area should be...
A. Balled up with my team so they die with me.
B. Not balled up with my team, so maybe we wont get owned.
C. Frenzying the enemy necro with the ghostly attached to me

5: You are being attacked by a 7-foot tall warrior weilding a 100-pound hammer. You...
A. Run like hell
B. Die
C. Pwn his ass. Obviously.

6: You are standing in a Meteor shower/maelstrom/other damage per second spell. You...
A. Take a step back
B. Look stupid while standing there.
C. Try to get 3 consecutive heal parties off.

7: You are a warrior (we play balance too). Rule number one of being a warrior is:
1. Don't overextend
2. Try to solo as many things as you possibly can, mending and healing breeze will save you.
C. Be all you can be: An army of one.

Thanks to Byron for all the secret C answers

I guess what Im trying to say is...stay with the group. Always keep an eye on the leader AND the general location of the gorup to see where you should be. Try to keep at least one groupie on your screen at all times. You should always be in Ward distance from another person in the group, but not too close.
If you die because you were too far away from a healer, that's your fault. Watch your compass and try to keep your aggro bubble around your whole group.

Aera · Apr 21, 2006, 09:54 AM // 09:54

hahaha n1 this cracked me up, especially number 4

but yeah...its so annoying how some people never listen or use common sense...

Auntie I · Apr 21, 2006, 10:45 AM // 10:45

I like #5. True in real life and in Guild Wars!

4runner · Apr 21, 2006, 04:12 PM // 16:12

cool maybe i borrow this post so i can post it on our guild forums, for are severly hampered, def,mute, ignorant members!!LOL or maybe there just STONED!!!

Nice !!!!

Txs

lama_lord36 · Apr 21, 2006, 04:31 PM // 16:31

Answered all 7 questions wrong

(joking)

Divineshadows · Apr 21, 2006, 04:42 PM // 16:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by shardfenix

5: You are being attacked by a 7-foot tall warrior weilding a 100-pound hammer. You...
A. Run like hell
B. Die

You left out half-naked in your description of the warrior

shardfenix, have you played with me before? I am always reminding my teams using those exact words "Run like hell" whenever we go up against melee heavy teams like IWAY or even teams with just 2 or 3 melee. Ah, the beauty of kiting warriors through our dust traps.

Byron · Apr 21, 2006, 05:30 PM // 17:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by shardfenix

1: If you are fighting IWAY or another damage-heavy group, you...

C. Spam your elite HaXxoR language and get pwned. "IwaY iS foR FAgz, LoLz."

Quote:

2: Nature's Renewal/QZ is up and hurting my energy. I...

C. Refuse to boon-prot ever again.

Quote:

3: The group leader tells the group to move somewhere. I...

C. TS/vent-yell that no leader moves me. LEEEEEROY...Jenkins!

Quote:

4: The other team has a lot of aoe damage (vim/flareway/earthquake). My position in the area should be...

C. Frenzying the enemy necro with the ghostly attached to me

Quote:

5: You are being attacked by a 7-foot tall warrior weilding a 100-pound hammer. You...

C. Pwn his ass. Obviously.

Quote:

6: You are standing in a Meteor shower/maelstrom/other damage per second spell. You...

C. Try to get 3 consecutive heal parties off.

Quote:

7: You are a warrior (we play balance too). Rule number one of being a warrior is:

C. Be all you can be: An army of one.

Corinthian · Apr 21, 2006, 05:41 PM // 17:41

5 is so true. Dumb monks think they can handle it. Here comes the KD train, last stop is you!

shardfenix · Apr 21, 2006, 10:52 PM // 22:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Divineshadows

shardfenix, have you played with me before? I am always reminding my teams using those exact words "Run like hell" whenever we go up against melee heavy teams like IWAY or even teams with just 2 or 3 melee. Ah, the beauty of kiting warriors through our dust traps.

No but I read your article about kiting a few days ago and adopted that question from it

Sha Noran · Apr 22, 2006, 03:02 AM // 03:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by shardfenix

3: The group leader tells the group to move somewhere. I...
A. Go there
B. Don't go there
C. TS/vent-yell that no leader moves me. LEEEEEROY...Jenkins!
This sounds like a no brainer, but there have been times where I have to tell some of you 6-7 times to move. I should only have to tell you once. "go back" means "go back," even in new zealand.

Rofl. May I ask why you specify New Zealand?

Opeth11 · Apr 22, 2006, 03:21 AM // 03:21

Hehe, Byron, spoken like a true PvP pest ^_^

Though the answers are fairly obvious, it was quite amusing, as some answers were very..uh cute.

Ristaron · Apr 22, 2006, 03:23 AM // 03:23

Opposite side of the world than he is?

Except it's not the opposite side of the world, as it's just across the Pacific Ocean.

Perhaps things tend to mean the opposite between North America and New Zealand?

Forgive me, Shardfenix, if you are not from N.A.. I made the assumption based on your excellent grasp of the english language.

shardfenix · Apr 23, 2006, 11:09 PM // 23:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sha Noran

Rofl. May I ask why you specify New Zealand?

One of my guildies lives in New Zealand and we like to poke fun at him for it.

nightrunner · Apr 23, 2006, 11:22 PM // 23:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by shardfenix

One of my guildies lives in New Zealand and we like to poke fun at him for it.

I heard New Zealand had problems with Uruk-Hai and Orcs?

Chooby · Apr 23, 2006, 11:35 PM // 23:35

New Zealanders have a problem with sheep

.

Obviously you stand there and pwn the warrior and stand in a meteor shower and look stupid.

Caoimhe · Apr 29, 2006, 07:35 PM // 19:35

Looking stupid is easy - just take a look at how many people do it effortlessly every day (rl and GW, for that matter.)

The trick is to be able to exploit that looking stupid to your advantage. Found that out in RA last night. One overly-aggressive Ele would charge out, draw fire, stop, and begin casting - at which point, everyone on the other team goes, almost loud enough to hear, "Ooo... lunch!" and begins attacking the Ele.

Ele steps back, prots and heals self while two warriors go by and slaughter the otherwise occupied opposing team, now immobilized by the ranger/ele's ice spikes, cast while the other guys were looking at the first ele.

"Looking stupid" works both ways.

Byron · Apr 30, 2006, 07:41 AM // 07:41

That avatar is a work of art. +50 karma IMO.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caiomhe

"Looking stupid" works both ways.

But maybe they were thinking that you were thinking to look stupid. Maybe their charge is a counter-strike look of stupidity, and you find yourself with life siphon, scourge healing, and a 7-foot tall warrior wielding a small tree (dominating your life) after falling back.

In my expeirince, trying to play mind games often doesn't work; PvP is largely about maximum capitalization on the enemy's mistakes.

Jagan Vastary · Apr 30, 2006, 07:48 AM // 07:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by Byron

But maybe they were thinking that you were thinking to look stupid. Maybe their charge is a counter-strike look of stupidity, and you find yourself with life siphon, scourge healing, and a 7-foot tall warrior wielding a small tree (dominating your life) after falling back.

But...what if the whole run in to look stupid to get the warriors to act like they are looking stupid is all an act to get you to smash the ele with some hexes and a warrior, then they convert hexes for a bit of defense and blind your wars while there at it? You've beaten my giant which means your incredibly strong, and you would trust in your own strength to keep you safe from the poison, so I can clearly not take the glass in front of you. However, you've also beaten my spaniard...