Curse

Rustjive · May 09, 2007, 03:35 PM // 15:35

Note: This is a somewhat satirical, but a 100% true (maybe) sourceless gossip page to catch people up on the happenings of the Guild Wars PvP community. After all, not everyone can sit around in GWP all day and keep track of anything, and if you can't, I suggest the Special Olympics. Have fun!

Guild Wars Page (Err)Seven

Often Imitated, Never Replicated

”The End of An Era” – The End of An Error, Moar Like, sickburn

Over faster than sex with <insert JR’s, Kestrel’s, Crugin’s name here>, Team Quitter [QQ] broke up last week after Kestrel announced that he was taking a break from the game (by announcing ‘The End of An Era’ – come on, Kestrel baby, we were hardly in the ‘Kestrel Era’)…This came on the heels of Alcar, another new-QQ core member, announcing that he was quitting and selling his account. And so began the guild hunt for its members, with only Daemon and Tommy left from the Autumn/Winterfest/CT core…

It began with Idiot Savants [iQ] upping their ante against Kuntz Trucking Company [Honk] in their eternal arms race. After hearing on multiple fronts that Axiom (who had since joined Team Flamingo [FFs]) was doing everything in his power to pick up Daemon and Tommy for FFs’ roster and that Daemon had narrowed his choices down to Rebel Rising [rawr] and FFs, iQ swooped in and offered them free invites into a guild with a gold cape. That apparently sealed the deal…

As for the other fake-QQ members, Rep Protein A (Drew) has apparently made a guild, Non Playable Character [NPC], with other fake-QQ member Chiizu, as well as former Spectral Agony [sA]-ers Magic, Mika, Hulk. There are a couple more to round out the roster, we’ll update this when we hear about it…

To aid our ADD-readers in keeping track of the QQ members, a graphic:

WHERE ARE THEY NOW
Custo: WoW
Tom: WoW
Famous: Honk
Smgzor: Honk
Daemon: iQ
Tommy: iQ
Vanquisher: Honk/Quit
Alcar: Quit
Kestrel: Quit
Drew: NPC
Chiizu: NPC
Squidget: Questionmarkface ?_? (Edit: Joined Clan W A S D[WASD] for the moment? Stay tuned...)
Hutto: Guildless (But looking at an invite from There Is A Cow Level [cow]...)

NPC is recruiting, by the way. Make sure to PM Rep Protein A in order to get a tryout for a solid guild.

In Soviet GWP, Asp Bans You!

Everyone's favorite madhouse chat channel, #gwp, had a bit of a fiasco over the last week, when black increased the power of Ominous Latin Name [tag]'s Asp to 400, or the 'reorganize channel operators as I wish' level. A massive purging of the userlist happened, where basically inactive players and inactive channel operators lost their ops, as did a few others. However, Asp decidedly waffled the method to his madness - first wanting to limit each top guild to one op, then saying screw the system - so much so that a bunch of former ops led by a little punk kid and his butt buddy started up a new channel. To cap it all, Asp gave ops to cefx, which who became 'operator en flambe' over the course of the event.

This stupid drama took up pages of pages of logs on our hard drive, and we can't say it was important at all. It is worth noting that Asp's trophy girlfriend stood by his side the whole time...Admirable...

Black eventually came back, restored some order, and as far as we can tell, gave Asp a little spanking on the bottom...So everyone wins, except for cefx...

There Are Other Guilds Besides QQ, Who Knew

Turns out that guilds breaking up might be the name of a new disease…Forlorn Savior [FS] said ‘3…2…1…disband’ and that’s exactly what happened…Roo and Grace The Holy are both looking for guilds…Something similar happened to Team Crystalline, where apparently the entire guild is playing Gunz now…Embryo is looking for a guild…WASD took a poisoned apple from a little old lady named Sunny, dies almost instantly…(Edit: Apparently they found their Prince Charming in Squidget, so they're alive...for the moment...)

There’s news on the horizon that Sparta might be finished – the word is that Ryse’s secretz mistress Crugin is retiring, and its other members are off to the wonderful, magical realm of Warcraft or to Eve Online…(Edit: Incoming news at release time says that only Crugin is done, although morale is low, and without the inspirational speeches...Wait and see...)

Miscellaneous Happenings
[iQ]’s Rayne was seen on GWP using the name Lanrete, ****stirring a bit by posting old drama…Always gotta watch out for iQ’s mastermind…Super Secret Squad [Shhh] might be heading for a rebound…A little commentary: Natures Renewal leaves Victory on Demand [VoD], goes to TC, TC disbands, so you’re good? Ok…And the word at drama column release is that Natures has come crawling back to VoD? You're so good, ok...Fearless from TC joined VoD too...Eiser left cow, while Derka was given das boot multiple times…We’re getting old, so we can’t remember if we mentioned this last week, but Breaking the Metagame [defy] broke up…Why did we mention that? We don’t know, no one cares about defy…

Guild Wars Page (Err)Seven – A Special Section

Guild Wars’ own Paris Hilton put out her very own Hot or Not feature (link here: http://www.teamquitter.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=1531 ) this past week, and we have to say, girlfriend, your selections look like they were picked out by an ugly girl…

So here at Page (Err)Seven, where we insist on reporting the truth and nothing but the truth, we’ve decided to put together a much more accurate version of Katina’s list. We spread a lot of Euro love, and we even get an Asian. Katina is racist. Without much further ado, here it is…

Dishonorable Mention
Team Flamingo [FFs]’s Axiom

He is a bear.

Honorable Mention
Idiot Savants [iQ]’s Daemon

He is not a bear. He is in Rent.

The List
10. Kuntz Trucking Company [Honk]’s Kar

We’d buy cologne from this man.

9. Esoteric Warriors [EW]’s Elendar

He’s the mother****ing king of Gondor. He holds a deep aura of sadness. Are you kidding us?

8. Team Everfrost [eF]’s Uhvl

Just. ****ing. Insane. 100% certified insane. But when his nipple is all up in yo’ grill, you can’t help but stick your tongue out a little bit.

7. Idiot Savants [iQ]’s Tommy

By all accounts, this is a people’s choice award. With fanboys and fangirls stuffing up the ballot boxes, we had to include him. We don’t see the allure – Abercrombie model, loves Justin Timberlake, being in iQ and outspoken…wait a sec…

6. Team Everfrost [eF]’s Flyy

We don’t have anything witty to say, we just think he deserved to be on this list. Like a hotter version of Dan Gay, we think.

5. Idiot Savants [iQ]’s Sarus

Maya herself voted for Sarus over 9000 times. The nicest guy in iQ, and according to this list, the hottest too.

4. Esoteric Warriors [EW]’s Obscura

Here at Page (Err)Seven, we work hard to find these pictars of hotties so you don’t have to. Obscura, you ask, who? Where? But all of a sudden you’re asking for him to pound you at a rave. Or maybe not. Screw you guys.

3. Kuntz Trucking Company [Honk]’s Kriegar

He might not be eligible for Guild Wars Hot or Not anymore, but this pirate (read, ass pirate, yeye) is still number one in our hearts. Pros: Includes own personal stalker, hot sister. Cons: None, that’s why he made this list, you idiot.

2. The Last Pride [EvIL]’s Dan Jang

Dan Jang turns on his mystery and his charm in this picture, showing us the main reason we want Korea to come back to Guild Wars.

1. Battery Powered Best Friend [Vibe]’s Ryan

“He is ok lah.”

Apparently, he’s bat**** insane, but whatever, we’d go gay for him.

Sol Is Pyrrhus · May 09, 2007, 05:57 PM // 17:57

Five stars, Rust.

What brings some people to get bolded and others to not?

Rustjive · May 09, 2007, 06:17 PM // 18:17

Everyone is bolded on first mention. On subsequent mentions they aren't.

Thom Bangalter · May 09, 2007, 06:22 PM // 18:22

I kill two guilds in two weeks and I get no mention?

Blame the Monks · May 09, 2007, 06:28 PM // 18:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rustjive

Ok…Eiser was given das boot from There Is A Cow Level [cow]…

Technically, Eiser left cow, not got kicked. Derka, on the other hand, has been booted from cow at least 5 times this week.

http://img236.imageshack.us/img236/6681/gw001sg5.jpg

Drewfense · May 09, 2007, 08:05 PM // 20:05

NPC OWNZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz