Originally Posted by JimmyNeutron

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Originally Posted by gw_poster

First and foremost - your contribution to the GW community is greatly appreciated. I feel it's important for you to know how I will allocate the 150k should you decide to bequeath it to me. Since I've h/h'ed 99% of my GWAMM title, I feel that I've gotten to know many of my heros (and available henchmen) pretty intimately, so the vast majority of the funds would be used to help with issue areas I've identified for some of them and the implications of those issues on my pve experience thus far. With no further ado, I would like to describe some of the more important applications of said funds - in priority order, of course!

1) Dunkoro gets a new rug - his baldness and lack of adequate hair inferiority complex has led to my one or more members of my party dying one too many times. I feel that a fair amount to dedicate toward either a hair transplant, spray-on hair, a wig/hairpiece would be approximately 10k;

2) Tahlkora gets a boob job - for similar reasons described above, I feel that if 10k or thereabouts were contributed to mitigate Tahlk's apparent boob-envy of Livia (which is why they are never in the same party! whooa, talk about a cat-fight!), maybe my party would fare much better in battle;

3) Norgu gets a name change and counseling/therapy - While it's no secret that Norgu is gay (not that there's anything wrong with that!), I feel that he should be forthcoming with his sexual orientation - you know, come out of the closet. Instead of playing mind games, being the mesmer that he is, I feel that a good bit of the cash should go toward some counseling and/or therapy to bring out the real Norgu so he can be who he wants to be and not have to pretend in front of Koss and General Morghan, two "real men" (although General Morghan has serious control issues - but we won't go there!). So 30k for that, as I hear the market for good therapists has about dried up because Shiro has killed most of the ones he's seen (talk about a Napolean Complex!);

4) Devona gets a new hammer - This woman is tirelessly devoted to knocking the competition down, literally. Where PUG members have failed on countless occasions to KD as crucial times with great reflexes, Devona has come through like a champ. That's right, she gets a new hammer of her choosing - up to the 10k limit I put on said choice. I'll choose a fine day to take her shopping in LA (not Melrose, silly!), and let her floss that q9 15^50 warhammer with the +30 and 20/20 mods, of course! (I know, I know you say, "But you can't equip a henchman with a different hammer!?", duh, and you can't put fake boobs on one either - but it's my story );

so where was I? 60k so far? I have approximately 90k left - hmm...

5) Random PUG'ger gets 50k - why? dunno, but circle comes 'round, and maybe they'll do something cool for somebody else some day </dream>. Or, MAYBE THEY WILL LEARN TO RED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GOING PLAY BETTER. Oh sorry, external monologue slipped;

6) I get a superior vigor rune - I've played 32 months never having applied a superior vigor rune to any one of my countless sets of armor I've gone through on across all of my toons. I figure it's high time I test the hypothesis of whether or not that +9 hp is going to keep me alive that split-second it takes to get a heal/prot thrown on me. Although I highly doubt it that it would, the idea of actuallly having a superior vigor on my FOW set tickles my fancy (and the remorse of selling all the ones I've ever had as a drop - out of desparation - compels me to do so), plus, I'm too cheap to otherwise buy one, and too impatient to otherwise wait for another drop of one. ~20k

7) Last but not least, Olias and Livia get upgraded hero armor - This ought to take the last 20k, maybe less, but meh - I'm rounding up. Since learning about Sabway and deciding soon thereafter to start chasing titles, the only heros I've used have been MoW, Livia and Olias. As a noob R/N minion master (with a pet, too :O), spending countless hours running around Elona, my bar filled with such key skills as Animate Flesh Golem, Energizing Wind, Whirling Defense, Resurrection Signet, Comfort Animal, and Charm Animal, etc., I really got to know and love the use of minions, but still did not realize their full potential when actually controlled by a real minion master like MoW (which I found out a bit later as I played my way through NF to Chantry of Secrets!). Point being, MoW got his upgraded armor early on as I used him a lot before I found out about Sabway. Back on topic, since finding out about Sabway when I had only two titles under my belt (LB/SS), I used those three heros through 99% of the 28 titles I've gotten since! Therefore, I would like to reward Livia and Olias with upgraded armor so I can display them proudly in my HoM!

So there you have it. A more than adequate explanation of my intended use for the 150k should you decide to be so kind as to give it to me. Apart from the sheer boredom that led me to compose this treatise, I really love a competition.

Gz in advance and a big woot! to whomever is so fortunate to partake in such a windfall.