Curse

T121AD · Mar 14, 2010, 02:02 AM // 02:02

Before I announce the winner, I just want to say that I enjoyed reading all of your stories. There were many really good/funny stories, but unfortunately not everyone can win. Having said that, I WILL however, have more contests. So look out for the very soon. Anyways, here are the winners, followed by honorable mentions, who ALMOST made the cut. I just thought they should deserve some recognition at the very least. AND for the rest of the entries, please keep trying in my future contests, you never know - after all, it's all my personal preference, opinion and sense of humor (which can be weird sometimes )

1st: Mary Wine - IGN: Mary Wine (Post #2)

2nd: Lloyd6770 - IGN: Back Off Bubba (Post #10)

3rd: Skeletor Il - IGN: Skeletor Il (Post #38)

4th: JoeGrogan (Post #52)

5th: Ky Gyfre - IGN: Ky Gyfre (Post #12)

6th: drasco - IGN: Volatilis Spiculum (Post #21) *Entry by PM. I'm not sure if he wants to share his story.

Congratulations all the winners! Please PM me here and we will set up a good time to meet. JoeGrogan, I'm going to need your IGN. NOTE: If you don't claim your present within a week to 10 days, the prizes will go to the pool of the next contest. I'm sorry but I can't keep chasing ya'll.

Honorable Mentions (without any particular order):

Yuna Matsumarui (Post #8)

Stoney Malloney (Post #11)

WowThatsMe (Post #15)

Reginator (Post #16)

siadina (Post #17)

Fear The Apocalypse (Post #18)

Ralisti (Post #22)

eccarwiz (Post #26)

Marie The Avenger (Post #27)

Ronarc (Post #29)

joely b (Post #35)

crazybanshee (Post #43)

Trillian D (Post #47)

megaz (Post #55)

Sir Baddock (Post #57)

Najade (Post #58)

ChromisElda (Post #58)

I Rogue Syndicate I (Post #61)

Thanks all for participating. Next contest should be up very soon. Till next time guys.

.................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .....

I am looking for funny stories that you have encountered (MUST BE REAL). As far as the legitimacy of these stories go, I will be the judge of that. So it can be about anything, something you saw, something that happened to you; as long as you find humor in it. (I hope I do too).

IMPORTANT: Please keep in mind that stories posted in the thread must follow the rules of the forum. That means inappropriate language and content will cause your entry to be deleted by the mod. So I ask everyone to please watch your language/content when you make a post.
Thanks all.

I'll be naming 3 - 6 winners (funniest/best stories);

The prizes are as follows:

1st: Unded Destroyer + 10 Ectos

2nd: Unded Celestial Rat + 5 Ectos

3rd: Unded Celestial Ox + 2 Shards + 2 Rubies + 1 Ecto

4th: Unded Celestial Ox

5th: Unded Celestial Ox

6th: Unded Celestial Ox

Deadline:

The deadline for the story entry is March 31, 11:59PM EST. The winners will be named 24-48 hours after the deadline.

Notes:

Please keep in mind that I am serious at giving away these prizes as I have no need for them. And since I am quitting, I don't see a better way at giving my things away. It's fun for me and for you. I will probably have plenty more of these as I have made a lot of money in this game.

If I don't get enough story entries, I might only have 1 or 2 winners instead of 3.

1 story per person.

Have fun and good luck.

EDITED by LicensedLuny Warning
Please use good judgment when choosing the subject and language of your story submission, and remember that a lot of different people visit this site.
Posts that violate the general forum rules against offensive material will be deleted.

I would rather not have to lock this entire thread down because people can't figure out what is and is not appropriate to post on a public forum.

Replies should be submissions only! This is not a discussion thread. If you want to comment on the contest or specific stories, keep it to PM.

T121AD, please do not delete this warning message.

Mary Wine · Mar 14, 2010, 05:35 AM // 05:35

I have one of those gullible and stupid teachers for my English class. One day she went out to print out the quiz we were about to take. Garza, one of my classmates, walked out of the classroom and out of the building and laid down on the concrete, right next to the wall below our room. Being on the 3rd floor, we opened the window. When she came back, she noticed his empty seat and asked us where Garza went. We shook our heads and told her to look outside the window. Garza was laying on the floor "DEAD". She ran outside. We told Garza to go to the other side. Apparently she went outside and saw nothing and went back in with the Dean. Garza was sitting in his desk, a little out of breath, smiling and asked why she looked so scared. He got detention for a week because one of the janitors was outside and saw the whole thing.

IGN Mary Wine

talon994 · Mar 14, 2010, 05:35 AM // 05:35

Once upon a time, Bob was playing JQ. Bob had gone up the stairs near green and an elementalist kept staying close and following Bob. Being the ignorant drunk that Bob was at 3 AM. Bob said,: ''What the fu** do you want?'' To which the elementalist replied, :'' I like your weapons''. Bob kept on playing and kept pwning noobs. After he killed each noob, he /zranked their dead body. This resulted in uproar among the local chat. Close to the end of the match, Bob was being insulted by 3-4 angry Kursucks. At this point the elementalist, Had jumped in and tried to defend Bob in the most broken english a man could ever witness. Evar. After the match, Bob was messaged by the elementalist who was asking for Bob's build.After Bob pinged him his build, The ele said to Bob,:'' Thxs man unowppl likke uonw this game jaja'' Being drunk, Bob was able to learn about all this through his gf, who was sitting with him while he played Guild Wars drunk.

The End

This was a true story but I wrote it through narrator perspective-ness

laksa and curry · Mar 14, 2010, 06:44 AM // 06:44

Teenaged boy burped beside me on the train ..... he thought its cool to have loud burps. He messed with the wrg man. My fart can stop invading armies. Poor boy's face turned purple. The best part was no one knew its me ^^

zrahed · Mar 14, 2010, 07:07 AM // 07:07

well guild mate got a R9 Obbi edge. tried trading it for 140e , saw some one asking to buy a darkhorn rod R9 spawning for 140e, and then saw another person trading a R9 darkhon rod for an R9 obbi edge, thinking he could trade then out and sell he procceded to trade for the rod only to see both people standing next to each other with the same look,name and guild tag. so they both pm him saying Noob. He tells us the story in vent and everyone tried their hardest not to laugh but lol we just had to. true story kinda sad but weh ad our laughs

Acoyate Oblivion · Mar 14, 2010, 07:49 AM // 07:49

K, this is my ridiculous story.

One day me and my friend were riding bikes I was riding trying to look cool and was going full speed yelling back and looking at my friend "LOOK NO HANDS!", He yelled look out, I ran straight into a car and flew off my bike the car went off and half the neighbor hood came outside cause the crash was so loud.

IGN: Acoyate Oblivion

Manx · Mar 14, 2010, 09:21 AM // 09:21

hope im not too late ;/

Last year a couple of days before christmas a woman ran after her christmas tree which had come lose from the top of her car she ran after it down the steep road towards a junction, i was with my dad on the other side of the junction it was a red light for us, so her christams tree and herself went thorugh the cars passing by somehow neither of them were hit the tree nearly rolled into a river but my dad had got out of his car and stopped the tree going any further. He returned to the car and got alot of horns from behind for not moving but we both just kept on laughing.

IGN: Manx Ranger

Yuna Matsumarui · Mar 14, 2010, 11:26 AM // 11:26

me and a friend of mine had a good idea to make some quick cash during school. we decided to sell sandwiches in school, below the price the school was selling them for. we had unplugged a drinksmachine to have electricity for our devices. we plugged our devices in, and started making those sandwiches. we made 20 Euro's that day, and we got sued for tapping electricity and ruining a whole machine full of soda's ._.". since in Europe we don't have a jury, the judge decided to let us go with a warning (thank God!) and we got a week detention. it made it to our school's website and we got pretty 'famous' in high school.

well, at least we made 10 euro's each

IGN: Taylor Furyspear

Nobody Silverblade · Mar 14, 2010, 01:13 PM // 13:13

We were in college, Roman Law class, and the teacher assistant was explaining how romans decided who was right and who was wrong in conflicts between them. So, these two girls were talking a bit too loud, in an anfi-theatre of +/- 300 students, the teacher pin points them:
-"Carolina and the other one which I don't know, what's your name?"
-"Adriana."
-"Adriana, shut up. See? In classes you talk. But when you're doing oral exams, you'll be sitting down here, in this... pit. And your will be nerves on the edge, your voice won't come, your thoughts will freeze, and tears will come down your face."

I found it hillarious, couldn't stop laughing.:x

Ingame name: Nobody Silverblade

Lloyd6770 · Mar 15, 2010, 12:24 AM // 00:24

Back in highschool, it was during winter break. I lived in Colorado at the time, so there was lots of snow, and we decided to go sledding. At first, we just starting sledding down this hill, and after a few runs, it got boring. The hill wasn't all that long, and there were a few trees. Crashing into the trees was about as exciting as it got. I was looking around, and realized that my friends house that we were at had a 1 story barn. I also noticed that on the other side of the barn was another decent hill. I had the bright idea of suggesting, "Hey, lets sled off the roof!". We wheeled a trailer up to the edge of the barn and put a 55 gallon drum on the edge of it so we could hop on the roof. We hop up on the roof, get the sled up there, and one of my other friends offers to go first. 2 of us push him, and things end up going pretty well. He hits the stop fo the hill, and sleds down without trouble. My next friend decides to give it a try, and very similar results. I decide to give it a whirl. Now I'm kind of the big dopey friend of the group, taller, bigger around, etc. I hop on the sled, and 3 people try to push me off the roof instead of 2. I get going pretty good, reach the edge of the roof and go flying off. Apparently big people don't fly as far as littler people. Instead of hitting the top of the hill and sliding down without peril, I hit the crest of the hill, break the sled, and roll down the hill, eventually stopping with the help of a tree. As you can imagine, it didn't feel very good, and the first thing I hear is, "Bitch, you broke the sled!".

IGN - Back Off Bubba

Stoney Malloney · Mar 15, 2010, 12:25 AM // 00:25

Well, my work is supposed to be about discretion, but this being the internet it doesn't really matter anyways. Currently I have a job as private chauffeur for people and I had to drive this woman (she was far from attractive though... just before someone starts...) from some chinese restaurant back to a parking garage near her home in A. Anyways I went to the restaurant and notified her/personnel of my presence. When she was done dining, she want to stand in the middle of the restaurant, and when the personnel asked her what she was doing here (she was standing just a tadbit (cough ALOT) in the way) she points towards me. So after a while I asked her if everything's alright. 'Yeah, let's go'. Well she couldn't find the exit to start with, she was sure it was on the other side of where the actual exit was. Finally having convinced Miss B the exit really is over there, she actually falls against a wine rack, having helped her up (only 2 bottles broke thanks to the soft carpet...) we went outside... The moment we're outside she's like... 'Uhm, where did I leave my car?' and I was like 'Uhm? On the parking behind the restaurant?' after which, with a surprised glare in her eyes she replies: 'Yeah... I guess'...

So after a short walk we get to the parking place... She confidently steps up to a car, hits the remote control to unlock the vehicle... Nothing happens... Well, not with the blue car in front of us, then again, she had a grey/silver Mercedes, not a blue BMW... I was like 'Isn't your car over there with the lights turning on?' she replied: 'Oh you found my car, great!'.

So once in the car, she falls asleep and doesn't wake up till I woke her up when we arrived. The moment she wakes up she's a bit surprised and in all the rush she opens the door without looking if it was clear. Being in a parking garage didn't help, she smashed her door into the car next to her. I had her sign the forms that I didn't take any responsibility for any of the damage to her car, she couldn't even get read the papers so she just signed without having the vaguest clue of what she was signing.

Needless to say, because of all the crap that happened that night, I missed the last metro home... I was not allowed to take a cab because there were 'night busses'... It took me 2 hours to get home while it was freezing 4 degrees, but I had a helluva fun night mocking that woman

Ky Gyfre · Mar 15, 2010, 04:24 AM // 04:24

Hmmm there are some good stories here. Ill go with a MMO one.
So I was playing Star Wars Galaxies. This is when it first came out. There are big creatures called krayt dragons that dropped really expensive loot but, at the time, were very hard to kill even for a large group. Well there was a problem that krayt dragons were too big to fit between buildings so you could run between the building and the krayt would be stuck on the other side. This allowed someone to attack and kill the krayt dragons safely. Well players could place personal buildings anywhere outside of cities. My guild had a guild hall and some player homes, one being mine, near an area rittled with krayt spawns. One day me and some guildies go out to our guild hall to add some decorations to find a fairly large group of guys pulling krayts to our buildings to kill them. We were like whatever and proceeded to what we had come to do. However, when we finished we were like, let see if we can team up with those guys. So we went to the guys and were like "mind if we join up with you or maybe take turns"? Well one of the guys was like "yes we do mind, go away". Well after trying to be nice and constantly getting rejected we just decided to attack the krayts they were dragging in to try and get rights to the loot, though their group more than doubled ours. This just pissed them off so they started calling us every name in the book. We tried to reason with them again but got the same attitude. Well I told the rest of my guild, in private, to get back, far back, and they did. In SWG you can move your house at any given time and the rude group didn’t realize that the house they were using was mine, even though it did display my player name. Boy were they in for a surprise. I waited until they pulled a fresh krayt and then I picked the house up. Man it was like cockroaches scattering. They started dropping like flies sending me nasty pm threats as they could not normal chat incapped on the ground. I got incapped as well but it was worth it. What’s even worse is that armor and weapons, in SWG, degrade over time with use and even more when you die so nothing last forever. Well it wasn’t over then. They came back from the cloner, a respawn point, trying to goad me into do PvPing them with name calling. Well a guildy went off and pulled another krayt to our location killing the a-holes, and me lol, all over again. This pretty much took the wind out of their sails and we didn’t end up seeing them again. Well I saw them at the cloner but not after that. Watching them run around cussing up a storm trying to survive was hilarious. I wish I still had screen shots.

-Ky Gyfre

Lucky Ace · Mar 15, 2010, 05:44 AM // 05:44

BEST STORY EVER:
This one time I was going to paint this house,
But then it started to rain,
So I did not paint the house.

Thank you
-Lucky Ace

Knight of Balthazer · Mar 15, 2010, 07:03 AM // 07:03

About 4 or 5 years ago, I (11) and my 3 other siblings who were around 7, 5 and 4 years of age, went to the great magical place of wal-mart to get a new fish because the 3rd oldest (Noah) had accidently flushed it down the toilet while playing in the toilet with it. So our mom brings us up there and tells us to go pick out the fish while she goes to shop for some other things. Well, We pick out the new fish, and try to call the wal-mart fish grabber man to come scoop it out for us. At first he ignored us, he looked like he didn't enjoy anything being an old grouchy crack head looking man. So he came and asked us what fish to get. We told him the super fast guppy. So he got his net from which Noah had grabbed for him. When he went to scoop it out he seemed to have the fish trapped a couple of times but could not get it out. This made him very angry. he began to curse the world in front of me (11) and my siblings (7,5,4). In which he threw his jacket down and his little scooper net thing and said he's done with walmart! Well we decided we could get it ourselves. Come to find out after examing the net, Noah had cut a hole in the bottom of the scooper net so he would never catch the fish because he wanted the sucker fish instead of the guppy. XD good times.

WowThatsMe · Mar 15, 2010, 07:59 AM // 07:59

Back in the day, when i was a wee little lad, I was at a school sporting event and decided to kick the soccer ball around with a few friends. As it was a school event, there were alot of people, and alot of people means a large crowd. So i thought id try to be funny and kick the ball into the large group.
Now, I'd better mention that it had rained softly earlier that day, so the ground was a li'l wet.
I took a step back, and kicked the ball. I fell over right onto my arse.
FAIL. Everyone turned to me and started laughing. -.- Bigger FAIL.

Morale of the Story: When something involves wet ground, a soccer ball, and a large crowd of people, don't try to be funny -.-

IGN : I Have A Steady Aim

Reginator · Mar 15, 2010, 01:53 PM // 13:53

I'll bite...

I was on a trip to russia with a large group of people, and staying at a small hotel. It was fairly small, with maybe 4-5 rooms per floor, and probably 8-9 floors in all.

To access the different floors, there was of course the stairs, and a small elevator, approximately the size of a port-a-john.

As a bit of background info, most elevators have weight sensors in them, first to make sure that the mechanism can safely lift and lower the box and contents, and secondly, to make sure the motor doesn't burn out from someone being stupid and pushing all of the buttons as they're stepping out.

In the US, most weight sensors are on either the ceiling or around the full base of the elevator box. However, this one was on the actual floor. What we discovered was, if you could pull yourself off the floor while the elevator was moving, the weight sensor would zero out, think that it was empty, go to the nearest floor, and shut down until someone pressed a call button. To accomplish this, I could pull myself up on the handrails inside.

So, being the childish smart kid I was, I decided to show this to some other guys with the group. Now, I was pretty small at the time, and one of the other two uf us was skinny as well, but the third guy was a bit larger. Me and the other skinny guy pulled ourselves up on the rails on opposite sides of the elevator, and the big guy was gonna do the same in the middle. However, when he quickly tried to do this, his arms flew out and hit both of us on the sides, knocking all 3 of us to the floor. This did two things: first, it zeroed out the weight sensor just long enough for it to register in the weight sensor. Then, the force of all 3 of us hitting the floor simultaneously caused the weight sensor to spike, greatly exceeding the weight limit of the sensor.

The elevator did not plummit us to our doom, but just shut itself off completely. Stuck between 2 floors. In a country where we couldn't yet speak enough to let someone know how stuck we really were.

So, we spent the next 2 hours waiting for someone to walk by the elevator within the two floors (that spoke english) so we could find the group translator, call maintenance, and have the elevator manually cranked to an opening where we could open the door and get out.

Needless to say, we took the stairs for the rest of our stay...

Ign: peter venkmann

siadina · Mar 15, 2010, 09:43 PM // 21:43

My sister and I took her son fishing the other day. In a boat. First time ever for the little guy he's 5. Well u know fish they like worms so we told him to grab a worm and hook it. Well he wouldnt touch em, so my sister knelt right infront of nate and proceded to put the worm on his hook. He watched in what i would consider little boy facination. Boy was i wrong. We turned our backs to cast his pole, and by the time we had turned around, he had the rest of the worms in his lap. Talking to them. We got closer and heard the following. "ohhh worms im sorry about your friend...' and my sister asked what friend and nate replied 'the one you hooked and thew out to drown' It took us forever to stop laughing and he kept all the worms safe and released them when we got back to the dock in the dirt.
Siadina Sorrowchild

Fear The Apocalypse · Mar 15, 2010, 10:16 PM // 22:16

Well here is my Story:

My brother and I took my little cousin to the Funtasia (It's a family fun center i.e arcade games, mini golf, go-karts etc...) near my house. We spent the whole day running around trying to keep up with him (he was 8 at the time). We did pretty much everything possible in the place... laser tag, bumper cars, go-karts, arcade games, mini golf, we even ate lunch there. Towards the end of the day though my little cousin wanted to do the Batting Cages (pay money and hit baseballs). About half way through he stopped and had this look of pain on his face, when I asked what was wrong he replied "I have to go to the bathroom". About the time he finished his sentence a puddle (of urine) began forming at his feet and running down hill to the ball pit (where the balls are collected and pitched back to other people in the batting cages). His reaction to the matter..... He kept batting cause he did not want to miss a pitch. Mine and my brothers reaction (as well as the others witnessing the act) UNCONTROLLABLE laughter.

Hope you liked my story.

-Fear The Apocalypse

beagle warrior · Mar 15, 2010, 11:37 PM // 23:37

i pmed u my story, just posting this as a reminder

ign: Beagle warrior

TheGuildWarsPenguin · Mar 16, 2010, 12:44 AM // 00:44

I was playing BS with a few of my friends. So I had a 7 of clubs and I tried to BS with it, but it flipped over while I was putting it on the pile.

The next time it was my turn, I tried to BS with the same card, and it flipped over again.