You know what's REALLY going on? Arenanet is secretly in league with Blizzard to corner the MMO market. When they do, they'll unleash mind control laser beams (pew pew) out of the heads of warriors ingame. They were worried about there not being enough warriors, so they kidnapped Jonbenet Ramsey and made her play wammos 24/7 to increase their numbers. Elvis is also there, and he feeds Jonbenet a special diet purchased using money from chinese gold farmers who are ACTUALLY clones of Tupac, who isn't really dead. Anyway, back to the mind control rays. The rays will make you blind to the 9/11 conspiracy and force you to eat genetically modified foods, making the corporations, who are all corporationy, filthy rich.
It's so simple! Why haven't we seen it before?
Go away.
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