Curse

The Way Out · Jun 11, 2008, 01:58 PM // 13:58

I figured I would share this with the few techs that bust their ass day in and day out. Me and my coworker in the NOC room shoot these at each other through an internal IM server all day. Breaks up the day. It is a web-economy bullshit generator. It randomly creates bullshit phrases.... enjoy!!!

Rajha, bust one of these phrases at your next board meeting. hahahahahaha

http://dack.com/web/bullshit.html

SirSausage · Jun 11, 2008, 02:18 PM // 14:18

maximize granular eyeballs

haha nice one

moriz · Jun 11, 2008, 02:37 PM // 14:37

harness sexy eyeballs

yeye

Snograt · Jun 11, 2008, 02:56 PM // 14:56

Reintermediate one-to-one paradigms

Always wanted to do that

zamial · Jun 11, 2008, 03:14 PM // 15:14

that app is great.

ill share these.

If Dr. Seuss were a Technical Writer:

Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say.
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort.
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash.
Then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!
You can't say this?
What a shame, sir!
We'll find you
another game, sir!
If the label on the cable on the table at your house
Says the network is connected to the button on the mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side affects of Gauss,
So your icons in the windows are so wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC.
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!

f that is not your style perhaps this is.

Haiku Error Messages

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

Everything is gone;
Your life's work has been destroyed.
Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Seeing my great fault
Through darkening blue windows
I begin again

The code was willing,
It considered your request,
But the chips were weak.

Printer not ready.
Could be a fatal error.
Have a pen handy?

A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

Errors have occurred.
We won't tell you where or why.
Lazy programmers.

Server's poor response
Not quick enough for browser.
Timed out, plum blossom.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

Login incorrect.
Only perfect spellers may
enter this system.

This site has been moved.
We'd tell you where, but then we'd
have to delete you.

Wind catches lily
Scatt'ring petals to the wind:
Segmentation fault

ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask way too much.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.

With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.

The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
endless others exist

Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down

A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.

There is a chasm
of carbon and silicon
the software can't bridge

Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that

To have no errors
Would be life without meaning
No struggle, no joy

You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

No keyboard present
Hit F1 to continue
Zen engineering?

Hal, open the file
Hal, open the damn file, Hal
open the, please Hal

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

The ten thousand things
How long do any persist?
Netscape, too, has gone.

Rather than a beep
Or a rude error message,
These words: "File not found."

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

These are some gems I thought I'd share.

Snograt · Jun 11, 2008, 04:09 PM // 16:09

Excellent!

They should hard code those into Windows 7 right now.

Oh, and the Seuss rocked too!

KZaske · Jun 11, 2008, 04:24 PM // 16:24

reinvent extensible niches

Loved Seuss. Thanks for the post.

The Way Out · Jun 11, 2008, 04:37 PM // 16:37

benchmark best-of-breed solutions

Lord Sojar · Jun 14, 2008, 01:57 AM // 01:57

PS: Rahja is back and on the mend from surgery. What did I miss?

"empower scalable applications"

That one is funny, because I use it a lot. lol?

Snograt · Jun 14, 2008, 02:23 AM // 02:23

Welcome back, Rajah - hope all is well with you and yours.

You haven't missed much - the usual, oft-asked questions in here. Maybe we should do an inventory of every post and see if we can pick up some common configs and problems

Or, not.

I'm still waiting for my 780i - on backorder

moriz · Jun 14, 2008, 02:56 AM // 02:56

welcome back. there are a few new developments, most notably is that my E7200 now runs just as fast (or faster) than a stock E8400, while can still idle at 34C

Brianna · Jun 14, 2008, 03:34 AM // 03:34

Rings are red, screens are blue, all my bases are belong to you.

Welcome back Rahja, hope it went well.